


A Year and A Day

by MegannRosemary



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Drama & Romance, F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-15
Updated: 2015-09-30
Packaged: 2018-02-13 07:20:01
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 56,082
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2142072
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MegannRosemary/pseuds/MegannRosemary
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Every year around Henry's birthday Regina's loneliness brings her to seek out the boy's birth mother. She desperately feels the need to fill the hole in her life, sharing her brightest light with someone who loves the child as much as she does. Emma's memories are wiped clean after every visit, protecting herself, her son and her safe heaven. SwanQueen because after all, true love is magic. Swan Queen Fan Award Winner: Tied 2nd place for Best Fic Plot!</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The First Year

* * *

  **Disclaimer: I own no part of Once Upon a Time.**

* * *

 

 

She had enough.

She had enough to leave.

Enough to not be alone.

Enough to share the bright light in her life with someone.

Someone from here, or rather from there.

A new page, a clean slate.

She shuffled through the items, calculated the amount of magic that resided in them.

She'd brought more than enough with her.

This would work.

In the room beneath her father's casket, she raised her face to the sky miles above her and smiled freely.

Planning carefully, she removed the bare minimum with enough magic to keep her safe outside the town line and to change a woman's memories.

Once her signal returned above ground she dialed Graham at the station. "I need you to watch over Henry this weekend."

"Of course."

Of course he said yes, he had no choice.

* * *

 

It was late evening when she stepped off the plane.

The first thing she did was call Graham to ensure her newly one year old son was safe.

Then she was caught with a decision, to seek out the woman named Emma Swan that very evening or wait until morning.

She hated to waste a single second of the precious time she'd bought for herself outside of the town lines, her magical resources were limited

A split second decision and she decided that morning would do.

She needed a good night's sleep and a shower to make a good impression.

This woman could be a twenty dollar hooker for all she knew and a shower would hardly make a difference. However, her pride demanded it.

The young woman at least had a roof over her head, she knew that much, so that was something.

She called out for a taxi that whisked her away to her comfortable and clean upscale hotel room.

* * *

 

She smoothed her skirt and fluffed her hair one last time before raising her hand to knock at the door, balancing the tray of coffees in the other hand.

It was several minutes before the door opened.

Raw attraction.

Body and soul connection.

The first few seconds she stared.

The young woman was dressed in a simple white tank and tiny black panties.

Her hair fell in messy blonde curls to her waist.

She was breathtakingly beautiful.

She was incredibly sexy.

"I hope you have a better reason to wake me up at nine AM on a Saturday than to stare at me."

She forced her mind to string words together. "I brought you coffee."

Words yes, but not the right ones.

Emma reached for one, taking a big gulp before pertly sticking out a pink tongue when the hot liquid scalded it. "Thanks, but uh, who are you?"

"Regina. Regina Mills."

Emma took her hand in her own, shaking it loosely and studying the brunette. "Nice to meet you Regina Mills, what can I do for you?"

Regina took a deep breath before she began, "You're my son's birth mother."

Emma turned away, prepared to slam the door in her face.

Regina stopped the door from swinging shut, "Wait please."

"It was a closed adoption, I don't want to talk to you."

Regina pulled a picture from her purse, "Here he is, I... I just wanted you to have it. If it was my son I know I'd be curious. My phone number is on the back if you want to call me. I'm here until tomorrow."

Emma glared at the photo with a combination of longing and fear. "What makes you think I care, I gave him away for a reason."

"You care, otherwise you wouldn't be so angry. You gave him away because you care." Regina surprised herself, coming just now to understand the woman she had often cursed so late at night for giving up her son, for being so heartless.

With that, Emma snatched the photo from her hand and closed the door firmly.

Regina made her way down the steps, taking a sip of her coffee.

It was a step.

A big step.

She'd been able to share her son, though she longed for more, this would do.

* * *

 

The call came later that afternoon.

A small voice speaking over a crashing, babbling background noise.

"I'm working at the dinner on Seagull. There's a pie on the sign. You can't miss it."

Then silence.

She'd hung up.

Regina found the place without difficulty, the blonde was right, you couldn't miss it.

A hostess dressed in a putrid yellow uniform greeted her cheerily at the front door.

"I'm looking for Emma Swan."

"She's there at the counter, feel free to have a seat."

Regina sank down on the cracked pleather barstool, resisting the urge to wipe it off before she sat down.

"Hello Emma," Regina spoke carefully as if not to scare the young woman away.

"Can I get you anything?"

The blonde looked perky and cute in a white tennis skit and white t-shirt that hosted the diner's logo and with her hair pulled into a tight ponytail.

"What do you recommend?" Regina studied the slightly sticky menu.

"Hot chocolate and French toast," Emma spoke surely, confidently.

"It's the middle of the afternoon."

The blonde shrugged, "You asked."

Regina nodded, "Alright then. Hot chocolate and French toast."

Emma left her alone until she brought the food. French toast sprinkled with raspberries and powered white sugar accompanied by a steaming mug of hot chocolate with whipped cream.

"Here," She waited patiently, her eyes urging Regina to dig in.

The brunette took a small bite and an equally small sip of her hot chocolate. "Cinnamon?"She asked, nodding at the coco coloured powder sprinkled over top of the cream.

"Yeah, it's a little quirk of mine. The customers like it," Emma's flashing emerald eyes challenged her to disagree.

Regina smiled softly, enjoying the strong willed passion in the woman before her, even for something like cinnamon covered hot chocolate. "It's interesting, thank you."

She ate quietly and slowly, letting the blonde come to her.

Halfway through her second piece of sourdough French toast the girl blurted, "Can he talk yet?"

The iron fist around her heart melted away into molten happiness, "He doesn't have any words just yet, but he is fond of animal sounds. He loves to say 'woof woof' and will make that sound for just about any animal you ask."

"You have a dog?"

"No, we don't, but a family friend has one. A Dalmatian named Pongo."

"Saaaay," Emma grinned, "Like 101 Dalmatians."

"It would seem," The brunette's smile didn't quite reach her eyes.

It broke the ice for the girl and she was back and forth between customers to ask question after question, "Does he walk?"

"Again not quite, he holds onto things and can make his way around."

"Does he get into trouble?"

"He's a very active boy, but he's very well behaved."

"Wow." Emma smiled tightly, "Guess he doesn't get that from me...or his father."

Regina saw a great depth of pain behind the young woman's eyes and wished she knew her better so that she might ask.

The blonde hurried away, making a round through the diner to fill coffee mugs. When she returned she asked, "Does Henry have a father? Now I mean?"

"No, he doesn't it's just me."

"But the man with the dog, they're close?"

"Yes, they get along quite well. The town sheriff is also a close family friend."

Emma hummed thoughtfully, "Alright."

As the dinner crowd came and went Emma disappeared, rushing and barking orders behind the counter.

Regina enjoyed a cup of coffee this time, and studied the strong young woman. She'd been all wrong about her, her less than stellar reputation on paper meant nothing now. She'd made mistakes in her life , but from the looks of it she was trying to make right by some of them.

In the late evening, a single table remained, an older man sipping a beer and eating a piece of pie.

In the quiet of the dinner, Emma hopped up on a stool beside her and asked softly, "Tell me about him?"

"You've been asking questions all afternoon."

"But those are just facts, I want you to tell me about him," She pleaded.

Regina began, her voice softening to the lilting tone she took when she read bedtime stories to Henry and had Emma leaning in closer with her chin propped in her hand. The words flowed out of her, "He always knows when I'm upset, every since he was about three months old he's been able to tell or at least show me. If I pick him up, he knows, and he puts his little hand to my cheek. Now sometimes, he'll come to me so I'll pick him up. He puts his little hand to my cheek and buries his head in my shoulder."

Tears sprang to pale green eyes, "His superpower," she murmured.

"What?"

"I guess I have something similar, I call it my super power.

Regina smiled softly, "I suppose it's rather like a superpower." The words were foreign on her tongue, very much something from this world. Coming from the boy's biological mother, they seemed right.

"Cool," Emma pulled the tie from her hair, letting it cascade over her shoulders. "Does he slobber?" She asked, moving on.

"Sometimes, yes he does."

"Is it gross?" She wrinkled her nose.

"Sometimes, but I don't mind." The brunette smiled at the memory of the sloppy kiss he'd pressed to her cheek before she left.

"I guess that makes you a mother." Emma fiddled shyly with the pen hooked on her pocket.

"I guess so Miss Swan."

"Tell me more," She looked up with confidence now, eagerly awaiting more stories with eyes shining with longing and delight.

"Please."

"Please what?"

"You should say please when you ask something."

"Oh wow ok cool, Tell me more please." She fluttered her eyelashes with playful exaggeration.

"When he first came to me he was three weeks old. He smiled up at me with the brightest blue eyes you've ever seen..."

They continued chatting long into the night, long after Emma had closed the dinner and the traffic had quieted.

At last, she stretched and yawned, exposing a smooth flat stomach. "Thanks for coming Regina."

"Thank you," Regina stressed, "I so longed to share him with someone, with you."

"I hope you don't expect me to come you know visit him or anything, this hasn't changed anything." Emma's words were firm.

"Of course not dear, I only wanted you to know." It was better this way, she told herself.

"I appreciate it." She hopped of the car stool, her legs stiff from sitting for so long. "I guess this is it."

"This is it," Regina agreed sadly. She'd felt warm and whole for the first time since, well the first time ever. Talking with this young woman, sharing their son, this is what she needed to fill her life and make it whole. She'd though by bringing Henry into her life she'd fill the gaping cavern of pain she felt every second of every day, through all her waking moments and even in her dreams.

"I don't know if I want to see you again." Emma admitted, "But if you show up one day to tell me about him again, I don't think I would slam the door in your face."

"Perhaps, Miss Swan, I will."

They shook hands and Regina stepped to the curb to wave down a taxi. Before she slid into the back seat, she turned slowly, hating what she'd have to do now.

She focused the magic stored in the items she'd brought with her and waved her hand, wiping the slate clean.

Emma wouldn't remember the past few days.

She'd remember that she slept in late Saturday, barely making it to a busy but otherwise normal shift.

She'd remember nothing of her son.

Of Regina.

Emma was waving back, as if saying good bye.

Then the spell took over and her hand fell to her side.

 

Reset. 


	2. The Terrible Twos

It was nearly eleven when she finally got the little boy, wired on sugar and being the centre of attention, to settle down and sleep. She collapsed on her bed, completely exhausted. It was an usually warm night so she lay on top of the covers, stripped down to her panty hose and bra, and willed sleep to take her away.

Her aching muscles and tired eyes didn't stop her racing mind.

It was that time of year again.

A year since she'd gone to seek out the mother of her baby.

She'd made her peace last year, she shouldn't want to leave again.

There was always a but.

She had the magic.

She had the time.

So much had changed in the past year, Henry had grown up so much.

He'd taken his first steps.

He'd spoken his first words.

Wouldn't she like to know?

The strong, passionate and decidedly beautiful girl had a right to know.

She picked up the phone beside her bed, heedless of the late hour, "Graham?"

"Madam Mayor? Is everything alright?"

"I need you to look after Henry this weekend."

"Of course."

Of course he said yes, he had no other choice.

Only then could she close her eyes and let her mind quiet as she dreamed of a blonde haired girl with emerald eyes.

* * *

 

Her flight was infuriatingly delayed and it was nearly two AM when she landed in Tallahassee. The town was quieter at this time of night, the glow of the streetlights casting a warm soft glow over the city.

Despite the late hour and the lazy pace at which the world seemed to move about her, she was invigorated, drawn like a moth to a flame to the small apartment building on the east side of town.

She longed to go straight there and let her stories flow, let her memories be shared.

Her tight shoulders and wrinkled blouse made her decision for her, and so she resisted and let the taxi take her to her hotel room for a few hours of restless sleep.

Confidence restored, she didn't hesitate when she knocked on the door the next morning with two steaming coffees in her hands.

Slow padding footsteps made their way to the door before it was pulled open. The blonde squinted at Regina with tousled hair and bleary eyes. "Who are you?"

Regina offered a coffee, pressing it into a long fingered hand, "I'm Regina Mills."

She stepped back into the apartment, allowing Regina to enter, her subconscious mind telling her it was the right thing to do. "I'm'm too sleepy to ask why, so c'mon in." She shrugged and sank down on her couch.

The brunette followed, closing the door carefully and taking a seat across from the girl.

She was clad this time in a grey t-shirt with cut off sleeves and tiny black shorts.

She was still infuriatingly attractive.

"Thanks for the coffee," Emma gulped quickly, making a face as it burned her mouth. She stuck out her tongue, eyes crossing as she attempted to examine the damage. When she didn't have any luck she shrugged and took another painful gulp. Ignoring the other woman, she drank the coffee faster than Regina had ever seen someone drink burning liquid.

Resting the cardboard cup on the end table, Emma combed out her hair with her fingers, checked her eyes for sleepy mascara and straightened her shirt. "So, why are you here? " She glanced at the clock, "At 8:15 on a Saturday. Good god woman I should have another couple hours of sleep."

"I'm here about your son."

She sat up straight, eyes darting with worry, "Is he sick?"

Regina's heart leapt in her throat at the deep-seated love this woman felt for a son she'd given up. "No, thank goodness. He's a beautiful healthy little boy."

"Then what the hell do you want, I can't give you any money." The blonde grew defensive, crossing her arms in front of her chest for protection.

"I just thought you'd like to know a little bit about him." Regina whispered, worried that the blonde would send her away like she had the year before.

"You thought wrong lady, I gave him away for a reason."

The words stung.

She knew the blonde was only trying to protect herself, but still they stung. "I know you Emma, I know you want to know more than you're willing to admit."

"You don't know a damn thing about me," Emma crossed to the kitchen, staring out the window.

Regina followed slowly, pulling a photo of Henry from her purse. The little boy was running towards the camera across green grass under a brilliant blue sky, his arms were outstretched and hair standing on end. She placed a hand at the small of the other woman's back, slowly passing her the photo, "I thought you might like to have this."

Taking her time, she collected her things and moved to leave.

She was opening the door when she heard a whispered ' _wait'_ behind her.

"Wait," Emma called again, louder this time. "I do want to know. I want to know if he's ok."

"He's perfect," Regina smiled thoughtfully, "I'll tell you everything you want to know."

Emma glanced at the microwave, green digits blinking out the time. "I should probably get ready to go to work but if you don't mind waiting a bit I'll treat you."

"That would be lovely dear." She breathed a soft sigh of relief as elation instead of trepidation began to course through her veins.

Emma stuck the photo on the otherwise bare fridge with a pizza delivery magnet. She pulled the door open to rummage through the fridge, "I really don't have anything to offer you."

Her eyes were drawn to mile-long legs caught in the glow from the fridge light. She imagined for half a second, her lonely heart taking over, what it would be like to have those legs wrapped around her in passion or simply entwined with hers in early morning cuddles.

She cleared her thoughts and spoke steadily, "I'm alright with my coffee, don't mind me." The older woman stood awkwardly still halfway to the door, unsure of how to hold herself in the sparse but still cluttered apartment.

The blonde shrugged, "Cool." She took a jug of milk from the fridge and took a whiff. Her features wrinkled in distaste and she threw it in the garbage under the sink. Deeming the chocolate milk appropriate for human consumption, she poured herself a bowl of fruit loops and doused them in the chocolate milk.

She'd shoveled a few mouthfuls of sticky sweet cereal into her mouth before she noticed the brunette hadn't moved. "You can sit down you know? You're freaking me out."

Smoothing her skirt, Regina picked her way over to the table to sit opposite the young woman.

Emma jumped up, grabbing Regina's coffee and dumping it unceremoniously into a mug, "There that's fancier."

"Thank you," Regina paused thoughtfully, carefully choosing her next words, "How is your work at the dinner?"

"It pays the bills," She shrugged, stressing her next word and glancing over at the fridge, " _I_  get by."

The older woman caught the implication, nodding in soft reassurance.

Lifting the bowl to her lips, the younger woman slurped the last of her sweet chocolate milk. "I gotta go shower and all. Uh, make yourself at home."

"Don't mind me, I don't mind waiting." She reached across to take the surprisingly small hand in her own, "I came all this way to tell you about Henry, I have all the time in the world alright? At least until tomorrow evening," She corrected. "Whenever you're ready, I'm here."

Emma didn't pull her hand away.

She should have.

She cringed at the thought of any physical contact.

Any physical contact that meant something, that was burdened with touchy feely emotions.

They got her in trouble.

Dethatched, uncaring, selfish physical contact.

That was safe.

The warm, perfectly manicured hand in her own carried soft, wavering emotions.

It was oddly comforting.

Her touch oddly invigorating.

She couldn't squeeze back.

She also couldn't let go.

They sat for a few long minutes, Regina's thumb caressing her knuckles.

It felt so right.

"Right," Emma stood suddenly, "I gotta go." She took off in the direction of her room, the roar of a shower starting several moments later.

Regina couldn't help herself, the blonde told her to make herself at home, so she did. She busied herself washing dishes and tidying the shelves.

Emma didn't take very long, sweeping out of her room with still damp hair and a well loved grey purse slung over her arm. "Ready to go?"

With a final wipe of the counter, Regina hung the cloth in the sink and collected her purse. "Lead the way Miss Swan."

"What so you can stare at my butt? I don't this so," Emma grinned and held open the door, "Ladies first."

So she'd noticed.

Regina mentally shook herself, chasing the primal attraction from her mind. She'd been alone in limited Storybrooke for so long and this was the first person she'd interacted with in twenty years, that was all.

* * *

 

The brunette took her seat at the counter while Emma busied herself, setting up her station. Regina was quickly forgotten as Emma hurried to take her first orders and tidy up from the breakfast rush.

The blonde managed to find time to set a hot chocolate down in front of her, the whipped cream mountain quickly melting over the sides.

"No cinnamon?" Regina asked as she took her first sip.

Emma stopped in her tracks, "What?"

"Oh, I'm sorry." The older woman took a uncharacteristically large gulp to cover up her slip.

"No, it's ok," Emma grabbed a small glass jar and sprinkled some cinnamon over the top of her cup, "It's just a weird thing of mine, not many people like it."

Truth be told, neither did Regina, she just longed for a connection.

She couldn't have a connection with this girl.

She had another day here, that was it.

"I'll be back," Emma spun quickly, her still damp hair wafting a sweet perfume around Regina and setting her senses tingling.

She was back.

Back and forth.

Dropping of a salad or a slice of apple pie.

Another hot chocolate.

With cinnamon.

Finally the diner quieted, the lull between lunch and dinner came as a welcome reprise for both Regina and Emma.

The blonde snagged the last bite of Regina's pie before propping her chin in her palms, "So tell me about him."

Thousands of memories sparked and danced in dark chocolate eyes. "Where to begin," Regina chuckled, "Well, he just turned two and already he's fallen into the stage called the terrible twos."

"What does that mean?" Emma couldn't help but grin, the boy had a little of her in him after all.

"The little devil loves the word 'no' and the word 'why'. He refuses to eat meat. He refuses to nap. He refuses to ride in the stroller."

"Sounds like a smart little kid."

"He's brilliant, determined and independent. He'll grow up into a wonderful young man. Those characteristics are only not so compatible with a two year old," The older woman spoke with obvious pride.

"He's not allll horrible then."

"No, of course not." Regina's smile deepened, "He's a precious and intuitive little boy."

"How's his super power?"

She couldn't remember.

That impossible.

She decided to feign ignorance. "His what?"

Emma looked puzzled as her mind caught up with the words she'd just spoken. "Oh, it's just I like to say I have a super power...and I just wondered if he got it too."

The brunette breathed a sigh of relief, she was safe. Ginning now, she explained, "His super power is still very powerful. Even in this terrible two stage of life he'll stop whatever he's doing when I get upset , put his hands on both cheeks, give me a hug and a slobbery kiss."

Emma pressed a fisted hand to her chest and slowly walked away. She filled a few coffee cups and cleared a few plates before she returned. "It's too hard. "

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be. I mean just because I gave him up doesn't mean I didn't want him."

"I believe that dear." She did, she believed every word the woman said. Her trust in other usually ran skin deep, but this woman she had complete faith in.

"He's a real little person now."

"He is."

"I didn't hold him. I didn't want to believe he was real. It was too hard."

"I understand, "The brunette took the younger woman's hand in her own, squeezing it comfortingly.

"I still want to hear, no matter how hard." Emma nodded emphatically.

"Of course. What would you like to hear?"

"His first words," Her voice squeaked anxiously.

Regina smiled and sank into the story, "Like most children his first words were 'Mama Dada'. But..."

"How can there be a but?"Emma grinned, feeling at ease once more.

"But," Regina pressed on, "Henry doesn't have a father. Well of course he has a father, you know that, but I'm a single mother."

"Then what..."

"It so turned out that ' Dada' his word for dog." The brunette chuckled to herself at the memory.

"Oh, he has a dog?" Emma brightened, childhood longing in her eyes.

"A close family friend does, Pongo."

"Like 101 Dalmatians! Cool!" Emma sat up straight, nearly toppling her stool.

"So it would seem," The older woman purred. "He loves dogs and points them out to me everywhere, once we all realized that's what he was talking about. Of course now he corrects anyone who tries to call it 'Dada' insisting it's a 'dog'. He's too smart for his own good."

"He sounds like a great kid."

"He is." Her safe haven forgotten for a fleeting moment, Regina longed to whisk the blonde away to meet her son, to be a family.

"What else?"Emma grinned, "Is he a klutz like his birth mother or graceful and athletic like his actual mother?"

"He started to walk about six months ago, it was quite the event. He got this determined look on his little face, stood up and off he went, no looking back. I'll never forget that look." She was lost momentarily in her thoughts. It had been one of her favourite moments in her son's life and she'd been over the moon. Her only regret was that she hadn't had anyone to share it with. "I did managed to catch some of his first steps on video though. Now he's plenty fast and gets into everything, from lipstick to toilet paper to the fruit drawer in the fridge. I have to admit he's definitely on the klutzy side, he's clumsy to everyone's amusement and he just hams it up."

"You'll tell him these stories? When he's older I mean?" Emma's eyes went to the window, guarding her emotions. "I was moved around so much as a kid that I have no idea how I learned to walk, or what my first words were. I was a nobody."  _Still am,_  were the unspoken words that pooled in her shielded gaze.

"Of course I will."

Emma smiled softly and left the counter, finishing off her shift with a few dinner orders and a tidy of her station.

Regina waited patiently.

She wasn't a patient person.

She walked quickly, drove quickly, spoke quickly.

Everything in her life was pure efficiency, from work to her short manageable hair.

Here with this girl or at home with her son, she had all the time in the world.

She crossed behind the counter and put her own dirty dishes in the dish bin and handed the blonde some money for the food.

"Thanks." Emma tucked the money into her pocket without a word of protest.

The brunette took a deep breath, not ready to end their time together, "Can I take you to dinner Miss Swan?"

A surprised blush rose on the girl's cheeks, "Uh listen, I gotta work tomorrow early, like early even for you. I'd love a beer and a pizza."

"You're twenty," Regina chided cautiously.

"I've been to jail. I've given birth. I've probably lived more than you have, age doesn't matter." Glinting green eyes stared her down, challenging her to disagree.

Twenty years ago, even two years ago, Regina would have lashed out, telling the blonde she knew nothing. It was the past, she had to let it go as bringing it up wouldn't help anything or anyone. It was true, that the blonde had lived a good deal more for her twenty years, that's what mattered. And maybe one day they could share their pain, they'd understand each other like no one else could. So for now she smiled and gathered her things, "A good bottle of wine dear then, shall we?"

Emma smiled widened, "Deal."

They stopped at a Mom and Pop Pizza place up the road, ordering a half meat lover's, half veggie delight. Then Regina had them searching for some time before she found a bottle of wine that suited her taste.

They situated themselves on Emma's couch, with the pizza box, a single plate for Regina and large glasses of wine. Emma refused the table and plates, declaring it sacrilege to eat such a fine delicacy off of such barbaric objects. She relented to Regina using a plate as long as she ate the pizza with her hands and not cutlery.

The brunette slipped out of her shoes, tucking her feet up under her to balance her plate on her lap.

Emma leaned back against the armrest and stretched her legs out in front of her, her carefully painted toes nearly invading Regina's space. "So what do you do for fun, Miss Mills, or is this pretty wild for you?"

"I spend all of my free time with Henry."

"Don't you have any friends." Emma took a satisfying bit of her slice of pizza, her tongue reaching out to catch the stringy melted cheese.

Regina was mesmerized for a moment, reminding herself that she should be disgusted by such a lack of manners. She stammered, "Does a therapist count?"

"You're a freak."

The brunette scowled.

"Its cool," Emma poked her thigh with her toes, "I'm teasing, I think you're pretty awesome."

"What do you do for fun then Miss Swan."

"Pretty much this," Emma glanced around, "Only I'm usually alone and in my underwear."

The older woman longed to let lose, be free with the younger woman. It would be so easy. She longed to lean forward, tuck an errant blonde curl behind her ear and whisper,  _Don't let me stop you._ Instead she turned to the same teasing tone the blonde had taken a few minutes earlier and patted her calf to murmur with a little extra huskiness in her voice, "Freak."

A tinkling laugh filled the apartment, chasing away all feelings of loneliness from both parties. "I deserved that I suppose," Emma giggled still.

"I suppose you did," Regina returned tongue in cheek.

As she left that night, she didn't have the heart to remove Emma's memories.

One more day.

She could keep them one more day.

Maybe, just maybe the blonde would want to talk again.

She wanted to hold onto that possibility.

* * *

 

"Hey," Emma murmured softly.

"Emma?" Regina glanced inside make sure the blonde couldn't see her where she stood outside the diner.

"Yeah, I just wanted to catch you before you left, in case I never saw you again. I wanted to say thank you for coming to find me, for telling me about my son."

"Thank you," Regina stressed, "For a beautiful little boy."

"I didn't do anything except get knocked up."

Regina could see her shrug sadly, "You loved him."

"I did." The younger woman paused for so long Regina thought she was gone, "I do."

"I know that. He felt it, when you carried him inside you."

"You think so?" She sounded so innocent and hopeful.

"I know so."

"Wow, ok." Emma gulped audibly, "Well, will you tell him hi from me and if he ever asks, let him know I just wanted him to have his best chance. I truly believe he got that with you."

"I will, thank you." Tears threatened to choke her next words, " You're an amazing woman Emma Swan, I wish you all the best. "

"See you."

"Goodbye dear." She hated herself for what she did next, stepping forward and waving her hand.

For a moment, the blonde inside the diner raised a hand in a wave, her eyes widening at seeing Regina there.

Then her face went blank, memories altered, and she turned to her next customer with practiced ease.

"Good bye Emma." Regina blinked furiously, violently ignoring the tears that blurred her vision. This couldn't be the end, she knew it in her heart that this was only the beginning. She whispered, her voice drowned out by busy Sunday morning traffic, "Until next year."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm reposting this slowly from my fanfic account, so if you want it's all there. I should have it all on here by tomorrow! Thanks lovelies!


	3. Three and Free

This year she didn't fight it, this year she planned her trip weeks in advance. She had a few heart wrenching days when she had to track down the blonde to just outside LA. She'd moved somewhere warm again, Regina grinned, she must like it.

She packed her bag efficiently, asked Katherine to watch Henry for the weekend and quickly bought her tickets before she had the chance to feel guilty.

The bright lights and towering skyscrapers were a first for Regina and she stared in awe as she landed in the large city. This visit she opted for something a little more permanent and rented a car.

She couldn't wait any longer, she was burning with anticipation. After dropping her bags at her hotel just miles from the airport, she headed straight to what she hoped would be Emma's apartment . The drive was a little over half an hour, taking her out of the vast city and into a lush wooded valley.

She knocked at the door, heart in her throat, chastising herself for not bringing coffees or perhaps a bottle of wine.

A few explicit curses and even more muffled thumps later, the door flew open.

Regina took in mile long legs and a black dress that hugged the young woman's every curve, showing off opalescent skin, smooth and longing to be touched. Then there was her hair, golden waves piled on top of her head, with errant curls escaping and frizzing slightly from the early spring humidity.

She was beautiful and in that dress downright sexy.

Regina Mills, Mayor of Storybrooke and Queen in the Enchanted Forest, lost her words.

She blinked quickly as if it would help her think.

She glanced at the dress again and managed, "Were you expecting someone?"

"No?" Emma looked puzzled before she glanced down at the tight black dress she was wearing. "Ohhh, I was doing laundry."

"Oh, of course." Regina Mills found words, just not the ones she expected, "What do you say we make good use of that dress and go out to dinner."

Emma shrugged her agreement and was halfway to her room before she glanced back, "Mind if I get a name first."

"It's Regina, Regina Mills. "

Emma nodded slowly, her mid sluggishly searching for recognition. She pulled the elastic from her hair, releasing her hair from the messy bun and shaking her hair as if in a shampoo commercial, "Doesn't ring a bell."

Regina mused, "Then why did you agree to go to dinner?" Her hair was shorter than the year before, she noticed, it made her look older and more sophisticated but no less beautiful.

"I don't know?" She slipped into heels, wobbling slightly. "It just felt like it was the right thing to do. Plus, it's a Friday night and I'm bored and lonely." She shrugged and looked hopefully at the older woman.

It was as good an explanation as any. "Shall we," Regina held out her arm to lead the way.

* * *

 

It didn't take them long to find a restaurant that suited Regina's tastes and she presented them to the host. He looked up from his cell phone with a disgruntled look on his features, apparently not appreciating the interruption.

"Table for two please," She asked politely.

He snagged two menus and stalked to the first table he saw, close to the door and in the middle of everything.

Her fingers curled around his upper arm, bright red nails looking like drops of blood against his white jacket. She leaned in close and she purred seductively, "I think that table over there might be a little more suited to us." She pointed to a secluded booth at the back.

It was as if he was falling under a spell, he blinked slowly and turned sluggishly to lead them to the booth.

"Damn woman, you have moves." Emma looked in awe at the retreating host.

"I guess you could say I have  _moves,_ thank you." Such a simple compliment had a smile like a ray of late evening sunlight spreading across her features.

Emma blushed at the sight and carefully studied the menu, she wasn't used to the attention nor the company nor the affect she had on the brunette. She couldn't be sure if the woman was flirting with her or if she was attracted to her, but she had definitely checked her out at the door that evening. She'd never paid much attention to women checking her out, of course there had been a few rather fierce situations in jail but that didn't count in her books.

This was definitely different.

Did she like it?

Whoever this woman was and whatever interest she had in her, at the very least Emma would always be grateful to giving her confidence, to opening her mind and to opening her heart.

Emma at long last looks up when a waiter materializes by their table. She orders a glass of wine and Regina the same.

The brunette raised her eye brow in question when the man had gone.

"I'm twenty one," Emma declared with pride and slight irritation.

"So you are," The older woman smirked triumphantly.

They shared a secret smile when their glasses arrived a few minutes later. Taking the first smooth sip, they let the wine sit for a moment on their tongues, savoring the complexity of the velvet drink. It was full bodied and sweet and distinctly reminiscent of a bottle they shared a year ago.

Fortified by a sip of wine Emma didn't waste any time. She went straight for the neck, ending their avoidance if the subject. "So, Regina Mills you're a classy lady, what made you ask me out to dinner? Do you require my services or is it my stellar company?"

The brunette spluttered, imagining the woman had taken a tumble down the social ladder, " Your services?."

Emma nodded proudly, "Yeah, who do you need found?"

"What?"

"I work as a bit of an amateur private detective in my spare time, they pay me cash and I find people no questions asked."

She recovered quickly enough as understanding replaced her shock. Shaking her head, she murmured, "That's not why I'm here"

The blonde shrugged again, not noticing the way it made the material stretch and fall across her breasts. "Well in that case, I guess you know me a little better than I know you."

This woman was most definitely and intriguingly a mystery, quite like a woman from a Hitchcock movie. She imagined getting to know her a little better wouldn't be such a hardship.

"I'm here about your son," Regina admitted simply.

"What?" She whispered, unable to believe she'd heard correctly.

Her polished exterior cracked a little as she continued, "Your son, I..I wanted to tell you about him."

Emma saw red and her heart clenched with fear. "Why? It was a freaking closed adoption, "She couldn't help that her voice rose as she spoke. " I'm not supposed to know anything about him. I could getting big trouble for this lady so you better tell me what the hell you're playing at." Her hands shook as she picked up her water glass in an attempt to gain control.

"I'm lonely," Her voice was quiet and vulnerable as she barred her soul. Her gaze downcast, she wiped her mouth carefully with the napkin in her lap. "I just wanted to share my son with someone and I thought if there was anyone who might like to hear about him, it would be you." At last she raised her head to meet Emma's sparkling green eyes.

The woman's vulnerability tugged at her heart but years of pain and isolation told her to keep her distance still, "What makes you think that."

"I just hoped..." She trailed off and pulled a photo out of her purse. "This is Henry. Your son. He just turned three."

Her curiosity won out and she took the photo from her outstretched hand. Warmth curled around her heart at the sight, the first sight, of the little boy who she'd carried inside of her for nine months. "He's a cute kid," She admitted.

Regina beamed proudly, "Yes, he is."

She took a slow sip of the wine, rolling it on her tongue and enjoying the flour of fall and cedar. With longing shining in her eyes she challenged teasingly, "If you're going to tell me about him, you're gonna have to buy me dinner ."

Of course Miss Swan," Regina picked up the menu, only then remembering they had yet to order. "What would you like to know?"

The blonde picked up her menu as well, searching for the most expensive item she could order. "No," She shook her head, "Were going to eat, have a good time, and then you can tell me about him ok?" She was dying to hear but she just wasn't ready. On top of that she was enjoying herself immensely, kind of like being on a date. She smirked, a date with a strange beautiful woman.

She was going crazy, the mention of her son had given her a mental break.

She was mistaking her first real friendship as attraction. Regina was beautiful and she was grateful she was the mother of her child but that was it wasn't it.

It was a simple girls night between two new friends and it was pretty awesome to have a friend like Regina.

Orders given, she raised her glass in a toast to the little boy who had unknowingly brought them together, "To Henry."

"To Henry," Regina whispered.

"To you," She nodded at her new acquaintance and mother to her son.

"And to you," Regina returned, acknowledging her not insignificant role.

"Thanks," Emma blushed for second time that night, only this time at the compliment that was aimed at her.

* * *

 

Hours later, when they got home, Emma went straight to the fridge as realization struck, "Is this him?" She held out two photos, a little worse for wear, one of an infant and the other of a toddler.

"Yes," Regina's heart fluttered with panic, her mind racing as she wondered if the magic hadn't worked after all.

"I found them behind the fridge when I moved and they felt important so I kept them. I guess I'm glad I did." She glanced at the photos again and back up at the brunette, " Did you send them to me?"

Regina fought to answer the question. "Something like that."

"Cool, thanks. " She ordered all three photos on the table now, studying them fiercely.

At last she glanced up, "You know he kinda looks like you."

"That's impossible Miss Swan, " The older woman protested, but her traitorous heart soared with pleasure.

Emma lifted the one at two years old, "Here, that's the same look you get when you're happy. You know, the light in your eyes when you taste particularly excellent wine or talk about your son." She continued teasingly, "Or spend the evening in excellent company. "

Regina was pleasantly surprised at how well the other woman already knew her, even after only a few hours. "Indeed it is," She hummed happily.

"So what's he like?" The blonde asked casually, though her eyes betrayed her with overflowing excitement.

"He's a quiet little boy, very intuitive and very smart. He'll lie on the floor for hours playing with anything from a car to a toilet paper roll. He gets in his own little world, it's...it's just beautiful to see. I can watch him playing and never get bored." Her face it up and she gestured wildly as she spoke.

"Does he talk?" Emma wrinkled her nose, "I mean I guess he does but I don' t really know when kids start talking or whatever."

The older woman looked thoughtfully, "He started to talk around one and a half, by now he is quite proficient. He has a huge vocabulary even if he can't always make up a sentence."She chuckled, " He is perfectionist and always ensures that he gets his point across. Sometimes quite forcefully."

Emma giggled shyly, "Like how?"

She waggled her finger, "Oh don't you try and interrupt him or help him with his words. Our household is run by a three year old."

The blonde laughed freely now and asked with unashamed curiosity "Your household? Is there a Mr. Mills?"

"It's just Henry and I at home."

Emma nodded thoughtfully as she ploughed on, "Ok so what about ...I don't know sports or anything.

"He's three, barely! "

"I don't know!"She threw her hands up in protest as tears sprang to her eyes

"Emma...I'm sorry." Regina murmured, reaching for her hands, "No, he doesn't do sports yet but I thought I might put him in tumbling class in the fall." She paused, brushing her thumb across cold knuckles, "What do you think?"

"Why are you asking me?"

"You're his mother too."

"No, I'm not. Plus, " Her face grew red with anger, "I didn't have a childhood, so please, I don't know.

"How about as a friend then, what do you think I should do."

"I don't really know what  _tumbling class_ is, but I'm sure it's cool." With added confidence, she continued wistfully, "What about soccer? I always wanted to play soccer as a kid."

"That's a fabulous idea, team sports are so important in..." _This world. S_ he stuttered, "In children's lives. " She made mental note to form a soccer league in Storybrooke.

"Really?" Emma asked with masked delight.

"Really," Regina responded huskily. This is what she longed for, a partner to share her son with, from the happy times, to the sad and to all the decisions they could make together.

"Thank you," The younger woman drew her hands back, wringing them in her lap timidly. "So, um, what else?"

"Well we tackled potty training last summer." The brunette announced proudly.

"Gross," The younger woman crinkled her nose adorably.

"It's not so gross dear, I promise."

Emma shook her head, "I guess that makes you a mother."

She smiled, remembering the conversation from the year before, "I guess so Miss Swan."

"Well, you're a wonderful mother. "

Coming from her son's birth mother, it was the highest compliment. " You really think so? She wondered breathlessly.

"I do." She grinned, "I guess you can tell me about it. I mean just in case...I...me...want...can...mother..." She trailed off, giving up, and just smiled goofily.

"It's quite a good story actually," She pursued her lips thoughtfully before beginning, "The experience was much like when he began walking, it was something that he could just do once he decided. He knew exactly what to do and would go running through the house yelling 'No no no no no' until he made it to the potty."

The blonde collapsed in snorting giggles, "That's hilarious "

"It was quite amusing I have to admit," Regina's low chuckle joined the blonde's giggles in harmonious laughter.

Emma studied the pictures again, eyes shining with love for the boy she'd carried inside her for nine months and for the boy she was getting to know. "Oh I can just see him running around, he's beautiful."

"He is wonderful, thank you."

They settled onto the couch for story after story, Emma clutching the pictures in her hands and studying them intensely.

When the moon rose in the sky, filling the apartment with a pale blue light, Emma at last stood up reluctantly, " I have brunch shift, which is pretty sucky for new waitresses but what can I do. I should probably get some shut-eye but why don't you come in tomorrow?" She put the pictures back up on the fridge, a Chinese take-out magnet, a beer magnet and an electric company magnet holding them up.

Regina wasn't going to say no to a chance to see the blonde.

There was no denying the way the woman had graced her thoughts over the past year, just like there was no denying that there were occasionally dreams of a somewhat sexual nature.

There was no denying that sitting beside the blonde on the couch didn't set her nerves on fire and cause her heart to beat a little faster.

There was no denying that she was attracted to Emma swan.

Her son's birth mother.

The woman who could make them all a family.

Also, the woman who could destroy it should she choose.

Still, she'd settle for friends, for the tentative relationship they'd forged that night.

It was already more than she could ever hope.

"That would be lovely, thank you dear."

Emma made a face, "You know when you call me dear, I feel old." Then she smirked, "I kinda like it, like I'm old enough and sophisticated enough to actually be in your presence."

"I won't reign myself in then," She leaned forward and embraced her quickly "Good night Emma, sleep well."

"Thanks, the little I'll get."

"My apologies."

Don't be, it was an awesome night!" Emma leaned forward and kissed her cheek on impulse, "Night Regina."

* * *

 

Regina found herself sitting at a bar once again, this time however the establishment had lush red leather bar stools of dark mahogany. The charm of the British pub wasn't lost on her, from the shinning brass to the sultry colours and patriotic decor.

She was finishing her umpteenth cup of delicious gourmet coffee when she caught Emma's eye, "Would you like to accompany me tonight?" She wanted to clap her hands over her mouth but her guilty pleasure won out. Perhaps she could combine her desire to spend time with the blonde and the pure chance that her one of her favourite musical was playing.

"Sure! Where are we going?"

"To a musical, Mamma Mia." She cringed slightly.

A teasing smile broke out over the younger woman's face, "Ohhh, so you're an ABBA girl. Serious and sophisticated Regina Mills is a crazy fun Dancing Queen. Who'd a thunk it."

"It was popular when I first came...When I was younger I mean," She corrected herself quickly.

"Don't worry, I won't tell on you if you don't tell on me. I stole a copy of ABBA Gold once, it was actually probably one of the first CD's I ever stole, and I listened to it for weeks on end."

"Then it looks like we're a match made in heaven dear," Regina winked.

"Looks like," Emma grinned.

"I'll pick you up around seven then?"

"Awesome."

* * *

 

At seven sharp, she pulled up in front of the apartment in a limousine. The blonde stood in front of the building looking anxious. In a fresh white dress and her golden curls tumbling freely, she looked sweet, angelic and perfectly dressed for a trip to Greece.

Regina slid out of the sleek black car, "Shall we?

Emma 's gaze settled on her heels, traveled up her body and back again, anxiety clearly forgotten.

The older woman quirked her lips, she knew she looked fabulous in a deep burgundy dress and shiny black heels that made her legs look longer. "See something you like Miss Swan? "She teased.

"Yes. I mean no," Emma denied quickly, she let her hair fall over her face, "Let's just go." She clambered into the limo with much less grace then the other woman and exclaimed excitedly at the car's many features.

That night was different, Regina thought.

For the first time they were together without pretense, they didn't need to talk about Henry or make awkward introductions, they were just them.

Two women. Two friends enjoying a night on the town.

It was a whole new start in a way, though the ending loomed before her all too quickly.

Pushing that decidedly unpleasant thought out of her mind, she welcomed the evening into her heart.

Emma sniffled through the end of the musical and Regina carefully took her hand, squeezing it as tears glistened in her own eyes.

As they stood applauding fiercely, Emma turned to the other woman to speak over the applause, "I don't really like musicals," Emma admitted, "But that...wow."

Regina teased, "Why did you even me come with me?"

The blonde shrugged and picked up her purse as they exited the theatre, "I wanted to spend time with you. "

"I'm rather glad because I enjoy spending time with you."

The car was waiting for them at the doors and they stepped into the backseat, "Because you're lonely?"She asked.

Regina nodded, "Because I'm lonely and you make good company."

Faint sadness overcame the blonde.

She let her gaze linger thoughtfully. "I wouldn't spend time away from my son wasting it on just anybody, you're a friend Emma, if I may call you that."

"Definitely, you're amazing and the coolest richest friend I have," She glanced around at the limo. "You're also my only friend, but still, you're cool."

"Thank you dear." She meant it. She felt reborn, free and ready to take on the world.

They sat in silence for a few minutes.

Emma murmured, "So when do you have to go back?" She leaned against the brunette's shoulder sleepily.

"Tomorrow evening I'm afraid," The older woman resisted the urge to kiss her, instead wrapping an arm around her and holding her close.

"Do you wanna meet up for breakfast tomorrow? I work the double shift tomorrow, brunch and dinner,¨ Her sleepy expression was less than pleased, ¨But that means I don't have to start until ten."

"That would be lovely Emma, thank you."

"You called me Emma," The young woman smiled drowsily. "I like it."

* * *

 

The next morning their time together ended all too soon and the older woman was leaving her heart at the elegant mahogany doors of the pub.

She leaned in to place a lingering kiss on her cheek. "We'll keep in touch," She murmured, willing the words to be true.

"That would be great," Emma grinned, wrapping her arms around the other woman in a bear hug, "Maybe next time I'll be able to take you to a rock concert."

"For you, I'd give it a go," Regina whispered fiercely.

"Awesome!"

Taking a small reluctant step towards her car she promised, "I'll talk to you soon."

"You'll keep me updated on Henry? "

"Of course." It was the truth, at some point she would return to update the young woman.

"Bye Regina, it was lovely to meet you and Henry."

"It was lovely to get to know you and even lovelier to share memories of our son. Good bye Emma." She moved slowly to slide into the driver's seat, watching the young woman wake away from her.

At the door, the girl turned and gave a little wave, green eyes twinkling happily.

She cast the spell as she drove away, erasing the perfect weekend.

In her attempt to protect the original curse that brought her to Storybrooke she realized that she'd effectively cursed herself once again.

Now, she would be a prisoner of her memories.

The laughter. The touches. The stories.

Possibilities and longing would hold her captive.

A relationship, a family, those would only be in her dreams.


	4. Ferocious Four

The plane descended though low grey clouds, revealing leafless tress and small patches of scattered snow that the spring sun hadn't yet managed to melt. She wrapped her coat tightly around her as she shivered and waited for her rental car just outside the revolving doors of the airport.  _God, this was the furthest from sunny California, S_ he thought. She couldn't imagine what could have possibly possessed the girl to move here, to northern Wisconsin.

Even Maine was temperate compared to this.

She applauded her own commitment to tell the young woman about her son, to let the girl she'd come to know how her little boy had grown up in the past year. Knowing how much Emma loved the boy, she couldn't keep the stories to herself.

She shook her head as she waited at a red light, knowing that she her reason for being here was far from selfless. There was always her longing to share her life with someone and on top of that she couldn't deny her attraction to the woman.

She started forward again, barely glancing at the cars around her, admitting to herself in the warm car in chilly Wisconsin that her commitment to see the young woman went further than even attraction alone.

She rather liked the young woman, as her one and only friend, as a potential lover, a potential mother to her son.

She hurried through the predictably empty streets and drove straight to the apartment in the heart of the frigid city.

Shivering again, she climbed the metal stairs to the second floor and knocked on the door of apartment 201. Her research hadn't failed her yet, she hadn't knocked on the door of some stranger's apartment in the few years she'd been doing this. There was always a chance she was wrong. The handful of seconds, waiting for the door to open, were at once thrilling and terrifying that she'd lost the blonde.

The door swung open.

Grey slacks and a neat black sweater.

Golden curls.

It was her.

"Emma," She breathed _,_ relief shinning in her eyes _._ "It's good to see you."

The young woman looked behind her, as if searching for some other Emma, then back to the brunette with a slightly red tipped nose. "Uh, do I know you?"

"I 'm sorry, I'm Regina mills." The brunette held out her hand.

Emma took it, still shaking her head, " I'm still playing catch up here..." She felt as if she should remember who this woman was, but something was preventing her.

" I adopted your son four years ago."

"My son?" Her hands dropped to her belly.

"Here," Regina smiled softly pressed a photo in her hands, "This is him at his birthday."

The glossy paper was an explosion of colours, the little boy's hair sticking up on her head, cheeks puffed up ready to blow out the candle on a artfully decorated cake.

"Awww, " She squealed, "He's adorable."

"He is," Regina agreed reverently.

"He's my son?"The blonde asked, straightening her already perfect sweater and examining the photo carefully. "Do you still want him?"

"Of course I do," The older woman stuttered.

"Then why are you here?"

"I wanted to tell you about him."

"Sure, " Green eyes brightened and the young woman held the door open for her, "Come on in."

"Thank you." Regina removed her coat at the door, awkwardly folding it over her arm and waiting for further instruction.

On the outside, Emma looked different. Her attire was professional to say the least and she wore more makeup, carefully applied and sophisticated.

"Toss your coat wherever, I don't have anywhere special." She crossed to the fridge to survey the contents, "I don't have much for you, how about some orange juice?"

Same old Emma.

The same girl, freely going about her life with reckless abandon and her hair still tumbling unrestrained around her still young face

"That would be lovely dear, thank you," She hung her coat over a back of a chair and took the proffered glass thankfully. Airplanes were full of dry, stuffy air and they always made her throat achingly dry. The cold, tart, liquid slid down her throat with a sigh of delight.

"Wow, that good, " Emma teased, "Did you have dinner?"

"Yes thank you, I ate on the plane."

"Cool, where are you from?"

"Maine," She replied as she took another sip.

"Long way to come just to see me, you sure you don't want anything?" She looked surprised but undeniably pleased.

"I just want to talk with you."  _I want to spend time with you. I want to kiss you. I want to make love to you. I want you._

"Thank you," Emma pulled a few things from the cupboards, busying herself at the kitchen counter. When she turned, she held a plate of...something in her hands.

It was only when they sat down on the couch together than Regina realized they were whole wheat crackers, topped with olives and sprinkled with parmesan cheese.

She eyed the interesting combination carefully, letting the blonde make the first move to taste the appetizers.

"I haven't eaten yet," Emma shrugged apologetically as she picked one up and stuffed it in her mouth whole. "Mmm God, I'm amazing."

The look of pure ecstasy on the other woman's face prompted Regina to pick up a cracker, taking a tentative bite. "Interesting combination but delicious, " She praised.

"So, I wanna know everything. He'd be four now, a real little person you know." Emma mumbled around her second mouthful. She grinned, "You better be good at telling stories. "

That would be a good a starting point as any, "I'm quite excellent at telling stories, I read two to Henry every night before he goes to sleep."

"Just two, "Emma pouted.

It was exactly like Henry's.

It worked every time.

"Sometimes he'll get three or four. He looks exactly like you, you know, when he pouts like that. "

"He looks like me?" The girl asked, eyes wide with rapture.

"Yes, you have very similar facial features."

The blonde smiled blissfully, lighting up the evening. "He has your eyes though, " Emma murmured, "I mean, I know it's not possible but he totally does."

"Thank you Emma," It filled her with a sense of pride. "Oh," She clapped her hands, turning to face the other woman on the couch, "He's starting soccer next month."

"No way, that's perfect!"

"I got him cleats for his birthday, and he's been tapping around the house for days now."

"You must hate that, you're so..."She trailed off, looking her up and down, "Strict."

Her eyes softened, "I'm letting him have his fun now, once they're caked in mud I will be strict about it."

"That's fair," Emma agreed.

"I'm glad you approve, " Regina replied sincerely. She slipped of her shoes and curled her feet beneath her.

"So you're what?" Emma guessed, "A business woman, head of a bank?"

"Not quite, I'm the mayor."

"You must be busy."

"I always make time for Henry, " She snapped..

"I wasn't accusing you, I just admire you." Her young face looked over at the other woman, continuing sadly, "I can't even deal with my own sad life, there's no way I could take care of a child."

"I think you could, you love him. You'd make a great mother."

"Really?"

"Really."

"Someday, "Emma nodded.

Until then, she'd be content with stories, as Regina chatted though his daily routine, the huge words he liked to use and the wild imagination that always amazed her.

Two plates of crackers and several glasses of orange juice later, the yawns began to flow one after the other.

Emma had long since shed her sweater and was using it as a pillow against the back of the couch. She stretched, the white t-shirt straining against her ample breasts, " So you have someplace to go or you wanna stay here."

"I don't have a reservation... " It was an accident in all honesty, the hotel had called to cancel before she got on the plane.

"Then please stay here. That way we can do something together tomorrow." She looked bewilderedly at the other woman, "I feel like we know each other, like I already you know. I think that maybe we're just meant to be friends."

"Thank you," She paused and smiled softly, "You know , I feel the same way."

"It's more than just Henry isn't it."

"I think so."

"I don't know what to do about that," Emma admitted.

"Neither do I."

The fates had something in store for them, neither Regina's world nor Emma's world nor the collision between the both of them could stop it.

Emma stuttered, pressing on, "I don't have a guest room or anything but the couch is a pull out or you can sleep with me. "

The brunette patted the couch, "This will be just fine dear. "

"You have a bag or something."

"Yes, in the car."

"I'll get it for you."

And she was giving her car keys to a complete stranger.

But no.

She wasn't a stranger.

Far from it.

* * *

 

Emma snuck out of her room early, a habit from the week she wasn't able to shake. In the summer she went for a run but in the winter she'd work out on her own before she made a heaping breakfast to eat in front of a rom-com.

She stopped dead in her tracks not two steps out of her room, surprised that the woman on her couch was still sleeping. She was so poised and elegant, larger than life when she was awake, but in sleep she looked peaceful and innocent, dark lashes fluttering against her creamy olive skin.

A lock of hair fell across her face and Emma tiptoed closer to brush it away

The older woman mumbled in her sleep, rosy lips pursed.

She was absolutely beautiful.

Reluctantly, she busied herself in the kitchen as she prepared pancakes. Granted, they were from a mix, but they weren't burnt.

She was dishing up a couple plates when Regina stretched looked wandered over, her hand coming to rest on her lower back in greeting. "That smells amazing."

Emma blushed both at the compliment and the warmth that radiated through her t-shirt. "Thanks, it's nothing special but its breakfast."

They sat down to eat, strong cups of coffee, slices of oranges and fluffy prepared pancakes.

"You don't work weekends now?" Regina asked, noticing the time.

Emma shook her head, washing down a mouthful of syrup with dark steaming liquid, "No, I'm in a tiny boring town here, I have a boring 9-5 job now. I work as a legal assistant at a small firm here."

"But really dear why Wisconsin," The brunette waved a hand out the window at the bright blue sky that screamed the promise of a chilly day.

" I had to get away from California," Emma mumbled, "I got into some trouble, not with the law I swear. Just people weren't very happy with me and well, this was the furthest place I could think of."

The brunette reached out to her, hand resting on her arm "Are you alright?"

"I'm alright, thank you."

"I'm glad." Regina reached, her hand sliding down to take the other woman's hand in her own.

Emma laced her fingers with Regina's, never faltering as she ate, "Me too."

* * *

 

They sat on a bench in the park sipping scalding coffee from paper cups. The two women were pressed together, thigh to thigh, shoulder to shoulder, using their need for warmth as an excuse to be so close to each other.

A lone bird flew overhead, dark and soaring across the blue sky.

A lone couple wandered down a distant path, heads bent together.

A lonely hand found itself in the tight grasp of a young blonde woman's surprisingly warm hand.

Two lonely women smiled, no longer lonely.

The conversation flowed so easily between two women, like the slight warm breeze that rustled through the wet brown leaves from the fall before.

"He's into dinosaurs this year," Regina murmured, a new story beginning. "He knows all the names, which means I do too."

"Smarty pants," Emma teased, "Both of you, I bet you have him watching the discovery channel."

"He happens to love it."

"And so do you," The blonde elbowed her gently in the side.

"I do," She huffed.

"I think it's cute."

So quickly they're moved into flirting. It was so easy and so natural.

"Henry? Or Me?"

Both." Emma's eyes flitted to her lips and back up to meet her gaze.

Regina wasn't quite ready for this, she wanted it but she was scared of getting attached to someone, someone who already had such power over her. She mumbled, bringing the conversation back. "The T-Rex is his favourite because its ferocious. " She finished with a little growl, imitating her son.

"Ferocious," Emma imitated, breaking down in giggles that all too quickly turned to sobs.

"Emma, I'm sorry. " She didn't know what she was apologizing for, but the tears pouring down the other woman's cheeks and her breath hitching told her there was something.

The blonde gulped, "I'm missing all this, I'm missing everything. "

Soothing a sobbing four year old, that Regina could handle, but this young woman, eyes a more brilliant green in red tear filled eyes, she was at a loss.

"It's alright." She whispered soothingly.

"No...no, it's not... I just can't."

"That's alright too. Maybe one day, when you're ready."

"Yeah," Emma rested her head on Regina's shoulder, shaky sobs unrelenting. "I know I was the one who gave him away, and even now that I know him like this I still would have given I'm away. He has such a good life with you Regina, I just wish I could see him growing up."

"I'll tell you everything you know that."

"It's not the same. "

"I know, I'm sorry."

Emma took a deep breath standing up from the bench "I want to know him, and this is the only way how. Tell me more? "

"Of course" She took Emma's outstretched hand and they walked hand in hand all though the park and all the way home as she discussed the many facts about dinosaurs.

* * *

 

They cooked dinner together that night, easily moving about each other as they cooked the pasta and heated up the creamy white sauce.

With an equal sense of normalcy they washed the dishes, hips bumping and shoulders brushing, before sitting down on the couch to watch a movie with steaming cups of tea clasped in their hands.

Regina sighed happily as the credits rolled, turning her attention to Emma, a story spilling from her lips. "We watched 101 Dalmatians the other day. Henry thought it was great that his dog has the same name, Pongo. We spent much of the next few weeks keeping an eye out for the other characters in the story, I think he recruited the whole town."

"You have a dog?" Emma managed to ask though her laughter.

"Well, a friend of the family has a dog."

"Named Pongo," She asked incredulously.

"Yes."

The blonde's giggles shook the couch, "That's just hilarious! He's a lucky kid."

Regina joined her, chuckling softly, "It is rather amusing." Regina had never quite understood the dog's presence in Storybrooke but somehow in this new world a Dalmatian named Pongo seemed to make sense, and amusingly so.

Emma stood up, still giggling to herself, as she pulled the other woman up after her.

Regina bumped into her chest, her breath caught in her throat. For a few moments, she didn't move, blushing as her fingers curling against her shirt. "I...uh..."

"Yeah..." Emma breathed, taking a first step back.

She noticed the slight distance immediately

Emma must have too and she turned back to take her hand. She murmured haltingly, "The couch is uncomfortable. I saw you rubbing your back this morning. Come join me?"

Her breath caught in her throat, "I..I can't lie to you."

Then she nodded once.

The blonde grinned, tugging her towards the bedroom, "Good then its settled, you can sleep in here with me."

"But.."

"I offered remember?"

"Thank you," Regina couldn't deny the excitement that bubbled in her chest at the thought of sleeping so close to the other woman, the comfortable bed would only be an extra bonus.

Emma held her shaking hands in hers, taking her excitement for nerves, "I promise I won't touch you."

Her laugh filled the room with starlight, "That's all right Emma, we're not strangers anymore."

"No, I guess we're not." Emma grinned, shucking her pants and tossing them on an overflowing armchair.

"Friends." Regina gasped, the sight of long creamy legs and cute apple covered panties stopping the air from entering her lungs.

"Definitely, I'd say were pretty good friends," She added, her gaze raking over the other woman, "That is if we're allowed to think our friends are sexy. "

The brunette's heart soared and she winked at the other woman, "I don't have many friends so how am I supposed to know."

Emma nodded, "I don't either so let's just say its allowed."

"Sounds perfect." She looked shyly at the floor, "Do you mind if I change" She asked, nodding at the bathroom.

"Sure, go ahead." Emma waved, crossing to her dresser for a shirt.

As the blonde tugged her sweater over her head, Regina slipped into the bathroom, catching only the slightest glimpse of a bright red bra and full breasts.

She gave herself a shake - this girl had too much power over her. She was shy, she was timid, she was giggly and girlish. She wasn't herself in front of the blonde beauty.

Then again, she was more herself than she ever had been.

She was the young woman she'd been before Daniel had been taken from her, before her mother's reign and torture had been too much for her.

She was dark now, she was all stone and storm clouds full of icy sleet.

This girl could peel away those steely layers and find who she was inside.

She felt warm and alive with her.

She'd thought that only Henry could give her those moments, calm in a storm of her life.

They was still hope for her dark heart, these two could bring her back to life, could save her.

She hadn't wanted to be saved and now, now she wanted it more than anything.

Confidence instilled, she exited the bathroom, tossing her hair, "'It's all yours.'

"Thanks," Emma hopped off the bed. She hurriedly brushed her teeth, talking around the foaming toothbrush, "You can pick whichever side you like, I want you to be comfortable."

She spat, ran the water.

"This is gonna be awesome, like a sleepover I never got to have when I was younger...unless you count prison and I don't," She laughed, running the water again.

Regina meanwhile studied the bed.

A bed could say a lot about a person.

It had solid dusty grey duvet colour and pale, almost blue grey, pillows. It was soft and strong, very Emma. The left side held a few books and an alarm clock so she slid into the right, hoping it was the right choice.

The blonde skipped around the bed and hopped in, squirming as she pulled the covers up. Her green eyes twinkled with excitement and happiness. "Can I turn out the light"

"Yes, of course"

They were plunged into darkness, their eyes taking a few moments to adjust before the pale spring moonlight illuminated their smiling faces.

"Hi."

"Hi."

They lay facing each other, knees bumping as they curled on their sides. They chatted through the darkness, softly discovering each other's hearts.

"You know I always wanted to save kids like me." Emma murmured, "Being a private detective before and working in a law office, it helps put the bad guys away, but I kinda want to help kids before they get to be bad guys. "

"That's amazing Emma."

She shrugged, "It's only a dream, I have no education , no status, no roots. I want that too, one day, roots."

"Having found roots myself, I think you'll like it." She smiled sadly, "Having someone to share your home with, your life with, that makes all the difference though."

"That's why you adopted Henry."

"Yes," She looked fiercely, "But I love him Emma, I do."

She didn't need her super power to know that the woman was telling the truth.

Regina murmured, "I've always been afraid of the dark, ever since I was a girl."

"I love the darkness, " Emma admitted," It makes me feel safe, it lets me think." She ginned, teeth flashing white in the pale blue light that flitted through the room. "I'll protect you."

"Thank you." She added, "I've taken on many a crusade at night, but being alone in the dark is something that brings back too many terrible memories."

Emma held her hands pressed it to her lips, "Light and dark, that's us. We're meant to have met, you'll keep me safe during the day and I'll help you through the night."

"How will you do that? " Regina teased.

"I'm sure I could think of a few things" Emma giggled.

The brunette gulped, shutting her eyes against the possibility. "Thank you Emma."

"Night Regina."

"Goodnight."

* * *

 

When she awoke the early morning sun was tinged with pink and promised of a brilliant blue sky day.

There was a hand resting on her belly and a soft warmth at her back. A blonde curl tickled her cheek and she brushed it away absent mindedly.

She'd slept in Emma's bed all night.

There was a reason she felt safe and warm, a particularly beautiful reason.

The girl was curled around her, her head buried in dark waves and her belly pressed against her back.

She hesitated to move, didn't want to wake her or move away from the comforting embrace. She slipped her arm beneath the blanket and covered the blonde's hand with her own, brushing her thumb over the knuckles.

Emma startled awake not moments later, her body tensing to move away, "Oh god Regina, I didn't mean...I wasn't going to..."

Regina caught her hand, keeping its warmth splayed over her belly and indicating that the other woman should stay, "It's alright Emma, it's been a long time."

The blonde slowly relaxed, taking on a teasing tone, "How long is that?"

"Never," Regina admitted, "I've never spent the night with someone, had someone hold me like this."

"What" Emma protested, "I'm a friendless orphan and I've been spooned before." She yelped, sitting straight up in bed, her hair flying wildly about her head, "Are you a virgin?"

Regina turned over, propping herself on her hand to look up at the adorably disheveled young woman. Her dark eyes swirled with years of pent up desires, "No Miss Swan , I'm not."

She pushed her hair out of her face, attempting to find some semblance of order, "Oh thank god, then you'd really be a freak. "

"Thank you Emma, you're very sweet, " The older woman teased.

"I know, " She fluttered her long lashes and sank back on the pillows. Seriousness returned and she cupped Regina cheek, "I am glad that I was your first."

The brunette lay her head on her chest, letting down her barriers, "I'm glad you were my first. "

They lay together for quite some time, Emma wondering about all the things she hadn't tried and all those things where she'd be her first.

"If you must know this is a first too, " Regina nodded at their position.

"Wow, Regina, you need...something."

"I do...I'm lonely," Regina admitted.

"You have Henry..."

"It's only half of the equation." Regina paused, picking her next words carefully, "I'd love to find someone to spend the rest of my life with, to share my son with."

"I get that...I mean I think I do...I get the need to have someone in your life I do. " She sighed, "It's not a fairytale though, loving someone."

"It's not." Her heart clenched at the thought.

"But true love... always prevails no matter how crappy it can be."

Her words were bright and shiny, young and innocent and full of hope. They brought a smile to Regina's face. Despite her reasons for fleeing the enchanted forest, she knew it was true, that true love was the most powerful magic of all.

Emma's stomach growled and she giggled, "You know hunger is a pretty great motivator as well."

"So it is, Miss Swan," The brunette purred, her hand caressing the gurgling stomach.

She threw her head back, blonde curls tumbling over the pillow. "God I love when you call me that, it's sexy."

Regina raised an eyebrow questioningly, "You don't like when I call you Emma?"

"I do, god I do...it's just more sensual."

"There's a difference?"

"Yeup." Emma bounced up, pulling on grey sweatpants, "So breakfast, what do you want?"

"Let me treat you, as a thank you for this weekend," Regina suggested softly, melancholy coating her words.

"Shit you have to leave today don't you, I guess the slumber party's over then."

"I'm afraid I do." Regina pouted.

Sadness filled her eyes, but she kept a smile on her face as she led Regina, fingers laced together, to the kitchen. The older woman studied the contents of the fridge and rummaged around in the cupboards, before suggesting, "Pancakes again?"

"Chocolate chip!"Emma ginned, "And you have yourself a deal."

"Fair enough, Miss Swan."

Emma gave her a megawatt smile that would last her a lifetime.

* * *

 

Both of them were showered and dressed some hours later, after a lengthy chatty breakfast, and were carefully prolonging their good bye.

"Will I ever see you again?" Emma hooked a finger in the pocket of her coat, tugging absentmindedly.

"I think you will," The brunette tapped Emma's cheek tenderly.

"Will I ever see Henry?"

"If you would like to, of course." Her heart stuttered with fear and excitement at the possibility.

Emma murmured, "I'm not ready, but maybe someday." That had been her mantra this weekend, her constant hope.

"Of course," She repeated, and someday she too would be ready to let the fear go and let herself love again, let herself welcome this woman into her careful life.

"I'll always be ready to hear stories about him," The blonde threw a glance over her shoulder at Henry's picture still on the table.

"I'll always come and tell you stories about him."

"Deal."

They stepped to an embrace, holding on to each other for a long time. Regina memorized the smell of her shampoo, the curve of her waist, the way they fit together.

As if Emma could read her mind Emma whispered, "I'll always be here to spoon you. "

"I'll always come, to cuddle with you like that."

"You better." The younger woman teased.

The brunette nodded, "I will."

"Bye Regina."

"Good bye Emma." She leaned forward, eyes lighting on her lips, but turning at the last second to kiss her cheek before she rolled her suitcase out the door.

* * *

 

She stood just outside, her heart already longing to rush back into the apartment, into Emma's arms and never leave, never let go.

What if she didn't erase the girl's memories?

Could she risk losing her son?

Could she risk the safety and the anonymity of Storybrooke?

For what?

A girl she's known for what amounts to just over a week.

A girl she's irresistibly attracted to.

A girl who is her friend.

A girl who had given her her first night of cuddling.

Her emotional attachment was clouding her judgment.

Her mother was right, love is weakness.

It wasn't even love, she laughed bitterly to herself, it wasn't even love and she was considering throwing her life away.

She was foolish, no more wise than when she was a girl, thinking she could get away from her mother, her life.

She was trapped then, and she was trapped now.

But now, now she was happy and she was safe.

She waved a hand at the door behind her, ensuring her safety.

Her town.

Her son.

Her heart.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> P.S. The scene on the bench makes me think of Imagine Me and You and I get all these feels and I can't at how beautiful they are. Sighs :)


	5. I'm Five!

It was with trepidation that Regina walked up the stairs in the apartment building in snowy Wisconsin. Her insides curled and twisted, knowing that at the top of the short flight of stairs, covered in melted snow, was a woman who could make her happy for a weekend.

And also for a lifetime.

At the end of the weekend she knew she'd take the memories to keep herself safe and keep herself in the prison she'd made for herself.

She couldn't walk away.

She knocked on the door.

She wanted that weekend.

It opened.

She was greeted by a pale face framed by dirty blonde curls, a brilliant smile and long legs clad in tight grey pants.

All hesitation flooded away and she stepped forward to pull her into a hug. Her arms looped around her neck as she buried her head in her hair to breathe in the scent of her shampoo. "Oh Emma."

The blonde's arms settled around her, holding her close, like it was meant to be. She whispered, "I'm sorry, do I know you?"

Regina nodded into the cover of her hair but then stepped back. She smoothed imaginary lint form her coat and managed evenly, "No, no you don't know me. But you knew my son...your son."

"My son?" Emma was already ushering her into the apartment and helping her with her coat.

"Yes, his name is Henry. I thought you might like to know about him."

Emma looked awkwardly around for someplace to put Regina's coat and eventually tossed it on the back of the couch. "That would be great, uh do you have any bags?"

"In the car?"

"You don't know," Emma laughed easily.

The brunette stuttered, stunned by the open invitation and warm welcome, like it as something they did every day.

Or every year.

Regina nodded, "It is in the car, I just don't..."

The younger woman spun on her heel, holding out her hand for her keys, "I'll run down and get it for you."

"But..." Everything was moving far too quickly for her.

"Shut up. You're staying here because I want to hear about our son." She grabbed the proffered keys and was out and back up in minutes.

She finished her train of thought as she came back though the door, rolling the suitcase, "I mean unless you think it's too weird."

"No not at all. " Regina lied smoothly, a slight tick in her cheek the only thing giving her away, "I feel like I know you."

"I guess that's why you hugged me," Emma smiled softly, remembering the gesture from only moments before.

"I suppose so." The smile in itself was like another warm hug, comforting, calming and just right.

Emma shrugged, "It's cool, in all honesty it felt pretty great." She studied the other woman seriously, "You look oddly familiar, have you ever been to Florida or California? Maybe we bumped into each other, and our souls hooked up."

Her heart jumped at the near poetry in the blonde's words, "I admit I have, perhaps we did."

Emma grinned, "And that's how we had Henry."

Regina's mouth dropped open, "You know that's not-"

"- How it works. I know." The blonde snorted with laughter, "God...what's your name?"

"Regina."

A flicker of recognition was masked by more laughter, "God Regina, you're so funny." She took a deep breath, composing herself as she looked Regina up and down and then down at herself, "You also look as uncomfortable as I am. C'mon let's get changed."

Emma grabbed a bottle of wine and two glasses to hand them to Regina, "M'lady." She grabbed the other woman's coat and pulled her suitcase to the bedroom.

Regina had no choice but to follow her. In the bedroom, she uncorked the wine and poured two glasses, placing one on her side of the bed and one on Emma's side.

"Thanks," The blonde barely glanced at her as she sat to pull off her low heeled boots and shimmy out of her pants, unaware of the effect she had on the other woman.

Regina watched her, feeling at the same time entirely comfortable and irrefutably lit on fire.

Long legs disappeared into grey sweatpants and she began to slowly unbutton her blouse. Emma chattered as she went, oblivious to Regina's stares. "You know this is totally crazy, some coworkers wanted me to go to this retreat this weekend for leadership and teamwork and crap and I told them I couldn't. I mean I wouldn't want to go anyways, but I just felt like there was a reason I had to be here this weekend. It's like I knew you were coming." Her hand fell to her flat stomach, covered now in only a white tank top, "I wonder if it's because were connected, by Henry?"

"Anything's possible," Regina murmured, finally moving to take a sip of her wine and pull off her own boots. Shyly, she stepped out of her dress pants and into yoga pants. Doing her best to keep everything covered, she stayed turned away as she pulled off her knit sweater and tugged on a thick long sleeved shirt.

"Wow." Emma called from behind her. "You have a nice ass."

Regina spun around, cheeks flushing. "What?"

Emma shrugged, and replaced her tank with a sweatshirt, "You're the mother of my child, I must have some rights to appreciate your uh  _ass_ -ests."

The brunette hid her laugh behind the wine glass, "Speaking of Henry, how'd you like to meet him?"

"Yeah!" Emma kept a tight grip on her hand as she led the way to the living room and continued to hold on, their clasped hands resting between them as they began to talk.

"So Henry. that's a pretty old name, kinda weird." Emma squeezed her hand affectionately, "I like it though, he sounds smart and strong."

"He is." Regina's eyes filled with tears, "He just turned five, he's so big I can't believe it."

"Aw wow," Emma coughed as tears clogged her throat, "I can't believe it's been that long." Tears spilled out and ran down her cheeks, "And you love him, I can tell, and I'm so glad."

"I do ." Regina couldn't hold in her own tears at the sight of the young woman falling apart in front of her. She brought Emma to her chest, and they cried softly together.

Emma sniffled, "I wanna know everything, but I know I'll never be able to get the moments back."

"If it's too hard..."

"No I want to. Giving him up, that was the most difficult thing ever and I really do want to hear how happy he is."

Regina disentangled herself for a moment and brought back her purse. "Here, he started school this year," She handed over the picture.

They studied the photo between them, a small brown-haired boy with a Franklin backpack that was bigger than he was and a irresistibly wide grin.

Emma laughed through the remains of her tears, "He looks like he was going to fall over."

"If he did, it would be from excitement," The brunette smiled at the memory. "His excitement that morning rivaled Christmas morning levels of excitement."

"He's a weird kid."

Regina turned a sharp eye on the other woman, "Miss Swan?"

Emma gasped, shaking her head, "I didn't mean it like...I actually looked forward to going to school but mainly so that I could leave the house. I'd stay out as much as I could and Henry has such a great house so I don't see why he'd want to not be at home. So yeup he's a weird kid but in a good way."

She had gleaned a few details over the years of digging into Emma Swans past, and from the few comments the girl had revealed herself, her childhood had been less than ideal. "Thank you, I think he'd like that."

"Really?"

"Really." Regina took her hand again and continued, "He came into my room at four in the morning totally dressed and already eaten breakfast."

"He didn't?"

"He did." The older woman nudged her shoulder playfully, "He told me very proudly that he had. Not, of course that he had to, because I saw the mess in the kitchen later. "

They laughed together, with Emma suggesting that the mess came from her side, not Regina's.

"I brought him into bed with me and while he mostly wiggled, I did manage to catch a few more hours of sleep and so did he. He was the first one to get to the schoolyard that day and the first to stand in line. He waved me off like we did this every day, I waved back and when he was inside I cried.

"You didn't."

"I did," Regina admitted. "He was and is so happy to go to school every day."

"Does he have homework? "

"No, it's only kindergarten."

"I don't know." Emma threw her hands up in surrender.

"It's alright I didn't know either, I thought perhaps I had done something wrong."

"How could you have done something wrong?" Her low laugh one of affection not condescension.

"I don't know!" Regina lifted her hands helplessly, "It was all new to me."

"You are an amazing mother Regina."

"Thank you."

"No thank you. " Emma took a last sip of her wine and put her hand to her head, shaking it a little. "Wow, I need food and you do too I'm sure."

Regina rose unsteady on her feet, "Yes, I rather do."

Emma started on a egg concoction, pulling out eggs and various veggies from the fridge.

Regina leaned against the counter, happy to watch the other woman's surprisingly graceful moves as she prepared yet another breakfast food.

"So he just turned five?" Emma asked as she sliced mushrooms and peppers.

Regina laughed, "He did, and he goes around holding up five fingers and telling everyone 'I'm five'." She stepped forward, pushing her hand in front of Emma's face to demonstrate

"God that's cute." Emma mimicked the move, in some way trying to forge a connection with her son.

Regina's amusement was tinged with longing when she saw her son in the other woman's movements.

"Did he have a party?"

The question shook her from her reverie, "He did, his friends came over and made ant farms. He's into bugs this year."

"An ant farm?" The chef poured the eggs into the pan and slowly added the vegetables and shredded cheese.

"You know the plastic apparatus? That you fill with sand? And ants?" Regina asked, gesturing wildly with her hands.

"Ewww," Emma glanced down at the food and then back again , "You know I wouldn't have guessed you'd be ok with bugs and dirt."

"I can't say that I'm a fan, but it is Henry so I'd do just about anything for him."

The blonde sighed, a look at wonderment tossed over her shoulder, "You're so amazing."

"Thank you but-"

"No stop. You are!" Emma pressed a finger to her lips as she walked by to pick up plates from the cupboard.

Regina stood appropriately speechless, her skin burning where Emma had touched her and with a longing that it had been her lips and not her finger that had stopped her.

The blonde dished out their meal and had to lead her back to the couch to eat. Emma steered her back into safe conversation, "So Henry's in school now, what do you do?"

The brunette finished chewing wiped her mouth with her paper napkin, and replied, "I'm the mayor."

"No way. No freaking way. So he's like famous? Does he have bodyguards and stuff?"

Regina chuckled , the imagination of mother and son ran strong and true, "No dear, we live n a very small town. "

"Oh well it's still cool. " Emma tried again, "Are you sure you're not even a little bit famous."

"Would you like me to be?"

"it'd be cool." Emma nodded,

"Then I'm a little bit famous." Regina agreed.

The little bit famous Mayor and Emma fell into their same easy rhythm of chatting, clearing up the kitchen and getting ready for bed. They brushed their teeth and washed their faces in an easy and incredibly domestic dance. Without a question they slid into bed together, taking their respective sides.

Emma pulled the blankets to her chin to ward off the cool Wisconsin spring air, "This is so weird."

Regina supposed it must be, from Emma's point of view, never having met Regina before and yet they were so comfortable together. She faced the blonde slowly, "It is a little weird." It was from her point of view as well, this should be happening like this, Emma being so comfortable. Her magic wasn't as strong as she thought in this world. But then, she couldn't complain because really she got the best of both worlds.

Her breath hitched, she felt incredibly selfish, a deep self-hatred welling up.

"Regina are you alright? Is this too weird?"

"No, no its good." Regina reassured her in an attempt to reassure herself.

"It is good," Emma nodded. She slid closer and wrapped an arm around her waist without waiting for an answer though she asked anyway. "Do you mind?""

"No, I like it." Her entire body relaxed into the embrace and her breath evened out.

Emma smiled and smoothed back her hair, even in the dark her emerald eyes sparkled. "Good. Good night Regina."

"Goodnight Emma. " She whispered, tracing a finger along her barely exposed collar bone. Self hatred could be put away, after over twenty years she could let herself be happy, she could love herself, she could love how good she could be when someone just let her be herself.

* * *

 

They awoke the next morning as they had just one year ago, Emma's delicate fingers brushing against her belly, her breath warm on the back of her neck.

She didn't want to move from the protective cocoon of her arms. If she could just stay like this forever, she would be happy.

Hunger eventually woke the sleeping blonde and she grumbled into Regina's hair, "Up, move, food."

"Good morning to you too Miss Swan."

"You let me sleep too long," She grumbled, "And I'm starving."

The older woman slid from the bed and quickly pulled the covers after her.

Emma shrieked, sitting bolt upright. "Regina!"

She winked and danced away with the duvet clutched in her hands, "You said you wanted to get up."

"I didn't mean like that but fine I'm up." On hands and knees she crawled towards Regina, beckoning her closer.

Tentatively Regina stepped towards the bed, drawn in by the wild curls and cheeks flushed with sleep. When she was within arms reach, Emma tugged her into bed and they went rolling, tangled in blankets, shaking with giggles and cursing at their staticy hair.

They came to a stop with Emma hovering over Regina, she pushed her hair back from her face, "There, now I'm ready to get up."

"You are..."Regina began, but the words caught in her throat.

"Adorable," The younger woman simpered, "I know."

"Oh you," Regina lunged after the escaping girl.

They stumbled into the kitchen, giggling and clutching at each other.

Emma pulled several boxes of sugary cereals from the cupboard, "The choice is yours."

"Frosted Flakes have been a guilty pleasure of mine, Henry's too. I let him have it for his birthday and I get to indulge as well. "

"Why do you even restrain yourself? Why can't you just be free, eat whatever you want?"

Her laughter came out as an almost sob. I am a queen. I am cursed. I am never free. That was the truth. Instead she carefully picked her words, "I do it for both of us. If we were to eat sugared cereal and other such treats every day, then they wouldn't be a treat, it wouldn't be a special birthday breakfast. "

"That makes sense," Thoughtfully, Emma studied her bowl of fruit loops and coco puffs, "You know I wish I had a mother like you."

"Thank you?"

Emma took her hand, letting her gaze settle unquestionably on her chest, "I do not see you as my mother, in any way, I promise. "

"Good." Regina squirmed under her gaze, not because it made her feel uncomfortable but because she wanted so much more.

The younger woman dumped their bowls in the sink, turning and grimacing at Regina, "I hate to say this but I really gotta go grocery shopping this weekend. I just don't have time during the week with work and classes and all."

Unable to help herself, Regina nudged Emma out of the way and began washing the dishes. "You take classes now?"

"Yeah a couple nights a week, some business, sociology that kind of thing."

"That's wonderful Emma!" She waited until Emma met her gaze and smiled softly. "You're still working for the law firm?" She continued.

"Yeah, how did you know."

"I tracked you down."

"Oh right yeah, " She laughed, glancing over at the door, "I didn't even think about it, I guess you didn't just magically show up at my door."

"No dear, I didn't. " Drying her hands on the dish towel she nodded, "We can go get groceries if you'd like."

"Oh!" The blonde blinked with confusion, "You don't have to go, I'll just go fast and you can stay here or sight see or whatever you like. "

"I'd like to go with you. "

"Yes! It's so boring, I hate it and then to make it fun I get all this junk and regret it by midweek. " She finished breathless and grinning from ear to ear.

"In that case, I'll help you. I really am quite good at it."

"I'm sure you are. I just bet you're good at absolutely everything."

Regina pursed her lips, letting her words hold the extra weight of not so subtle innuendo. "Oh I am."

* * *

 

It was a relatively large grocery store, at least when compared to Storybrooke, and Regina insisted they methodically go up and down each and every aisle so they didn't miss anything. Regina picked out easy to prepare healthy alternatives and Emma picked out her favorite treats. They made a good team, balancing each other out.

"This is Henry's favourite." Regina pulled a block of mozzarella from the shelf, "He'll eat it on anything; Salad, lasagna, spaghetti, pizza, sandwiches, you name it. If you put this cheese on it he will eat it."

"Even... I dunno, brussel sprouts."

"Even that."

The blonde exaggeratedly pretended to faint over the cart. "Are you sure he's my son."

Regina ushered them along and grabbed cinnamon form the shelf at the same time Emma reached for the same thing, "I'm sure."

"Wow." Emma trailed along behind her in a daze, cradling the cinnamon in her arms, "What else does he like?"

"These crackers, wagon wheel shaped pasta," She snuck a box into the cart, whole grain, "He loves peach jam above all others and he drinks juice like a fish."

Emma lapped up the words, barely remembering to pull a box of coco puffs from the shelf. "How do you remember all these things? "

"I'm his mother."

"Oh." Emma brushed past her and into a checkout line.

"Emma, I didn't mean...If you were living with us you'd know too. You two would be conspiring with me to have coco puff instead of my frosted flakes."

"We would?"

Regina leaned in and kissed her cheek, "I have no doubt in my mind."

Emma began to lift the items from the cart, barely noticing the unusual packages. "Would we win?"

"I have no doubt in my mind."

* * *

 

They drove home quickly and raced to put the groceries away, Regina promising to cook some of the new items she'd introduced to the blonde's pantry.

When the last bag was put away, Emma turned, hands on her hips, "So Regina do you have any plans for us?"

"No, I'm here for you to tell you anything you want."

"You must be here for you too?" She tapped her foot with impatience and brimming excitement.

The brunette nodded, "I want to share my life with someone."

"And that someone is me?"

"I like you Emma Swan, I trust you."

"Good," She grinned, "Will you trust what I have planned for tonight?"

For barely a second she wondered what she was getting into but then she responded simply, "I will."

"Awesome, we'll shower and then we'll go," Emma was already stripping off her sweater.

"We?"

"Well you're welcome to shower with me," The blonde grinned and shucked her jeans, "However, I do believe I wouldn't let you out of the house and believe me, you want to see what I have planned tonight." She disappeared into the bathroom with an extra sway in her hips.

Regina stared after her, sitting patiently on the bed in shock. What was Emma playing at? Was she simply teasing or did she mean it? She was coming on so much stronger.

She still hadn't moved when Emma came out in a cloud of steam, covered only in a towel. "The bathroom is all yours"

"Thank you."

Her thoughts were muddled and jumping though her shower, imagining rosy skin water pouring over it. When her thoughts turned to the night ahead of her she came bursting out in matching teal underwear, "What is the dress code?"

Emma looked her up and down, "Jeans, definitely jeans."

"I didn't think to bring..."

"I'll lend you some, they should be fine but tight."

She took a pair of dark wash jeans from blonde and tugged them on. They were tight and hugged her every curve, but they made her feel confident, sexy.

"God wow. Can I?" Emma reached out, hands settling on her waist as she admired the tight jeans." Oops am I being weird again?"

"Good weird," Regina blushed. She could have any person she wanted in her bed with a single order, for pure physical release. But since Daniel, Emma was the first person who truly appreciated, no not appreciate, respected her body with her admiration. She didn't leer or defile her, she made her feel beautiful and she was like she was a gift to Emma not the other way around.

After checking her shirt was appropriate for the evening, she pulled on heeled boots and lifted the flared legs of her jeans over them.

Emma followed suit, tugging on her own low heeled boots so when they stood, they were nose to nose.

"Ready?"

"I hope so." Her breath catching in her throat, they were close, so close. She could have leaned in and covered those soft pink lips with her own.

She could have, but the blonde stepped away. "You're gonna love it."

Regina studied her outfit, "I'm not so sure, I feel a little out of place."

"Well you look beautiful."

"Thank you Emma ," With a wink she continued, "Well you do not."

"I don't?"

Regina reached out and tugged her back, "No you are incredibly sexy."

"I am?" Her innocence fluttered to the surface and she giggled, "No one says that to me except when they want something.

"I'm sorry Emma, I understand entirely. "

"You do?"

"I do. I won't say it if you don't want me to."

"No, it's alright. You say it differently, like you mean it, like you mean it just for me."

Hand in hand they pushed into the bar, warm from dancing bodies and a steamy bustling kitchen. The two jean clad women found a seat at a relatively secluded table where Emma ordered them both beers, warm rolls and chili.

Regina eyes the brew carefully drank it without resisting . "This isn't too bad."

Emma smirked into her bowl.

"Do you come here often?" Regina asked, dipping a piece of bread into her chili.

"Yeah, I guess so. I'm usually alone though, sitting at the bar waiting for a guy to buy me a drink."

"Does it work?"

"Have you seen me?" Emma grinned, leaning back so that Regina could take a good look.

"I have dear, and I like what I see." The brunette mused, "But does it make you happy?"

"Being alone no, but I'm used to it. The free drinks are great." The younger woman shoved her now empty bowl out of the way, "What do you say to some music?"

"Alright, where?"

"Right here, I'll be back." She jogged over to an old fashioned jukebox, slipped in a few coins and pressed a few buttons. A stomping country song filled the warm smoky bar and people streamed onto the dance floor.

"May I have this dance," Emma teased, bowing.

"Yes, you may." The other woman stood, attempted to curtsey, but then remembering her jeans, she bowed.

Hand in hand they joined the dancers, Emma patiently showing her the right moves as they swayed and swung about the room.

Song after song rang out, Regina begging for country songs and for Emma to show her more.

"This is fun!" She yelled.

"I told you I'm awesome!"

They were the last ones to leave the bar.

* * *

 

Later that night when they lay in bed, Regina slid forward into a tight embrace, "Thank you for tonight Emma, it was a lot of fun."

Then she looked up and pressed a quick kiss to smiling lips.

Their eyes remained open for a heartbeat or two, then they fell shut and the two women sank into the kiss.

"Wow," She said with amazement. "Emma."

The girl looked stunned, her hand coming to touch her lips to see if it had really happened. "That was amazing, that's what kissing is supposed to be like!" She cupped Regina's face, eyes meeting in a communication of sincerity and desire, " It looks like you were my first too, first cuddles for you and first kiss for me. "

"Your first kiss? " The brunette was shocked, shocked after the other girl's teasing and confidence that she could be her first. And, even more shocked that she'd remembered their cuddles from her last visit.

Her magic, it wasn't as strong as she thought.

And it was wonderful.

"From a girl yeah," Emma replied.

"I'm sorry, I thought with all the flirting... I'm sorry."

"Hey Regina , it's ok. I wanted it."

"You did?"

"I did," Emma soothed her, smoothing back her hair and tucking it behind her ear. "I'm all talk, I've never met the right girl but now that I have I want you to do it again."

Slowly, tentatively, Regina slanted her lips over the other's woman's.

She tasted sweet and she was warm.

They moved together, exploring the new nature of their relationship, hands roaming, tongues testing and hips rocking.

When Emma's hand met the skin on Regina's flat stomach, she stopped, uncertainty in her eyes.

The brunette kissed her softly, bringing her into a comforting embrace. They didn't need to push it, no matter how much their throbbing bodies may want them to, their minds weren't ready.

Emma lay on her chest, "You know Regina, I feel like we've met before. Since I saw you, I haven't been able to shake the feeling and now, when we kissed I just felt like ...like we've shared a good bottle of wine, like we've shared a meal, great conversation...like I know you."

"I feel the same way." The connection she felt to this woman was deeper than a handful of weekends and while she wasn't sure how it was that Emma could remember, it didn't seem to matter at this moment.

On the verge of sleep, the younger woman mumbled, "You love ABBA."

"I do," She admitted, her breath hitching. Leave it to Emma to remember that tiny insignificant detail.

"I do too," She sighed, "Maybe that's why we're meant for each other, why we feel like this."

"Perhaps."

The remembering didn't end there.

When she woke up in the night to use the bathroom, Regina noticed that Emma had turned on a small nightlight, it's bare bulb casting a yellow glow over the small bathroom that instantly eased her fears.

She slid into bed, warming her cold toes against Emma's warmer ones, and kissed her forehead, "Thank you Emma. For the nightlight."

"I got it for you, so that you don't get scared of the dark."

"You remember?"

The blonde nodded sleepily and buried her face in her chest, she mumbled, "I guess I remembered something from another life."

* * *

 

By silent agreement the next morning, they didn't speak about the imminent departure that evening.

It was a surprisingly warm day and they walked just down the block to get coffee and mouth watering croissants. They snuggled together on the couch, sipping the warm black liquid and peeling off pieces of pastry.

Random stories popped into conversation, only to be interrupted by fierce kisses and tight embraces.

Her suitcase was packed and sitting at the door and her jacket lay over the back of the couch.

Emma stool solemnly in the kitchen, tears threatening to spill. "Regina..."

"I have to go."

"I know, that's not the hard part. I just know we can't be in each other's lives... I mean you have Henry and I...I'm here. I can't be with him."

"You could?" A flicker of hope burst into flames.

"I can't" Emma shook her head, "You do such a good job, I'd only screw it up."

"Maybe someday you could meet him."

"Yeah, and we can give it a go."

"Of course, we'd both love that." A cold downpour quenched all hope, and she knew she'd have to take the memories of their weekend together with her.

What was the harm, if she kissed her and she remembered everything.

"Bye Regina, come kiss me again sometime ok?"

"I will." She looked deep into her eyes, "I promise."

Tears spilled out and down her cheeks, "Don't make a promise you can't keep, no one ever wants me."

"I want you." She kissed her fiercely, "I want you and Henry wants you."

The blonde clung to her, tasting her one last time, holding her close. then she pushed her away, "Go Regina before I beg you to stay, and I couldn't live with myself if I did that."

"Good bye Emma, I'll see you soon." She slipped into her coat and pulled her suitcase out the door.

The last thing she saw before it closed, was a trembling lower lip and tear streaked face.

Then she took it all away.

She was alone in her misery.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> When I wrote this chapter it was going to be entirely fluff... but then the finale happened and I wrote this to Let her Go and Say Something and then it got teary :((( Thanks for reading!!!


	6. Swimmingly Six

"Emma, Emma, where did you go?" Regina poured through the records. She'd gone to West Virginia for six months and then three months ago she'd moved again. There was no record of her credit card, of her car or of her social security number used in a job.

The brunette poured herself another glass of cider, pushed her glasses up her nose and continued searching through stacks of paper that held hundreds of potential leads.

The words blurred, her shoulders sagged but she saw it.

Emma Swan.

Those two words sent her heart beating wildly and her body relaxing with joy.

She found her.

"I'll kiss you again Emma," She whispered into the evening, "I promised."

* * *

 

She kept her word.

Several weeks later, she was pulling into a visitor spot of a high-rise apartment building. The brunette fixed her hair and reapplied her lipstick. Pulling her suitcase from the back of the car, she was ready.

She took the elevator to the fifteenth floor and knocked on the door of 1510.

The door swung open and there she stood.

She looked older, exhausted and more beautiful than ever.

"Emma."

There was a flicker of recognition in her eyes when she spoke her name, but then confusion crossed her features.

The brunette stepped forward, "Do you think I can..." She trailed off, reaching up to cup her face and press her lips to the blonde's.

There was a muffled protest, but then Emma sank into the kiss, her lips parting with a sigh to grant Regina entrance. Her arms lifted from her side, settling at Regina's hips as she drew her closer.

"Regina," Her voice rasped with emotion, "You came back."

"I promised I would."

"I guess I didn't make it easy for you." Emma glanced back at the apartment.

"No dear, you didn't. "

"You got your suitcase and everything?"

"Yes, thank you." She hesitated just inside the door, "If it's alright if I stay?"

"Of course don't be silly."

"I've got pictures of Henry in my purse."

"Henry?" She sloughed through her foggy memories, searching for recognition.

"Your son. Our son. "

"I... I'm having trouble remembering... my memory is foggy. Was I drinking when you told me about him. "

"I believe so," Regina laughed, kissing her quickly and handing her the picture.

"Hey, when you kissed me I remembered that you like ABBA and he likes bugs."

"Actually this year he loves trucks, but yes he did and yes I do."

"Those are some impressive kisses Regina Mills," She puckered up exaggeratedly, "How about another one."

"I'd be more than happy to oblige." She backed them to the edge of the couch, pictures and suitcases forgotten , and they tumbled onto its' soft surface.

"God you're amazing," Emma mumbled against her lips, her hands gripping at her hips, "I'm on fire and my mind is suddenly all clear and wow."

"I feel the same way," Her voice was husky with desire. "I've never felt the way I feel, like when I'm with you."

Emma pulled away and sat up, she mumbled, "I...I kissed another girl."

Jealousy flared but she asked evenly, "When?"

"New Year's."

"Was it serious?"

"No, not at all." She looked at her hands clasped in front of her.

Regina shook her head, "I'm sorry I asked, it doesn't matter."

"It doesn't?"Emma looked deflated, "You don't care."

"Oh Emma, I do." She reached for her hands, lacing their fingers together, " It makes me jealous, insanely jealous, but I have no right to be, I haven't seen you in a year, we weren't in any type of relationship, so of course it's alright that you see other people."

"I kissed a guy too." She blurted out. "It was only a couple times, but..."

"Emma, it's alright." The older woman's voice lowered, "I admit that I was with a man as well."

"But we can be together this weekend?"

"Yes, of course. I'm not attached."

"Neither am I."

"So this weekend..."

"I'm all yours.

"And I'm yours."

They sat for several moments, just studying each other, catching their breath and finding their equilibrium.

"Maybe we should start with dinner? " Regina suggested.

Emma mumbled in agreement, "I am hungry."

"For anything in particular?"

The blonde gulped audibly, eyes flicking from full breasts to red lips and back again. "Why don't we see what I have." She hurriedly added, "In the fridge I mean."

"Of course," Regina made her way to the tiny modern kitchen and began her inventory of the contents of the fridge.

Emma picked up the forgotten picture, "So this is Henry now?"

"Yes, it was taken just a few weeks ago. " Regina opened a cupboard to continue her search, "He's missing his two front teeth."

Emma grinned at the holey grin before her, "He looks ridiculous."

"He looks adorable." The older woman held up a box of wagon wheel pasta, eyebrow cocked quizzically.

The blonde shrugged in response, "I keep buying it, I don't really know why. It's good though."

"I'll make us a little pesto sauce to go with it," Regina decided, already boiling water.

"Cool." Emma hummed, "So does the Tooth Fairy come, for his teeth?"

"Yes, she does." The brunette announced proudly, "He writes her a note and put it with his tooth in a little treasure chest on his bedside table. "

"What do you do?"

"I write him back a little note and give him a quarter or two."

"Wow." The blonde asked longingly, "Will you keep them?"

"The teeth? Yes I am because it feels silly to throw them out." Regina stirred in some butter, parmesan cheese and basil to the pasta.

"It's just that you'll keep him forever right, so he can have all his teeth when he's older," Emma took a deep breath as she tried to explain. "I was never in one place long enough for anyone to care enough to keep my teeth."

"I will then Emma, for you, and for Henry." She brought them back from rough waters, "So what will you have to drink?"

"I'd kill for a beer...or tequila," Emma chuckled sadly, stuck on thoughts of the past, "But I'll go for juice because that's all I have."

Regina took two glasses form the dish rack beside the sink and filled one with juice and the other with water. She continued to lure the blonde from her reverie, "You know Henry always drinks his juice with two straws these days?"

Emma lifted her head and straightened her shoulders, dragged herself from the past and focused on the present. "Why two?"

Regina motioned to her teeth, "One for each hole, that's where he sticks the straws. He likes it when he gets brain freeze."

Emma grinned, "Sounds like genetics at play there."

"It most definitely didn't come from my side of the family," Regina teased, kissing her temple on her way to the table.

"Oh no, Regina Mills is much too sensible to do something like that," Emma returned.

An icy fist of fear clenched around her heart, remembering the punishments she'd endured as a small child . She didn't have any concrete memories as she'd was far too young to remember anything but fear. Sensible was all she had been allowed.

"Woah Regina, what did I say? You're all pale."

"My privileged childhood wasn't what it seems Emma, we all have our demons, " The brunette replied stone facedly.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"I do." Regina nodded, thawing slightly at the realization that she could let all the memories spill out without fear or trepidation.

Emma looked at the steaming meal before them, "Right now?"

"No, but with you I think that I could."

"Alright," She reached for her hand across the table, "Whenever you want I'll listen, ok? And I won't tease you about being sensible anymore?"

"Thank you." She took a small bite and looked up with a forced smile. "Henry would love this meal."

"I wish he could come visit."

"Really?"

"No." At the shocked look on the other woman's face she stumbled on, "I mean yes I'd love it if he could visit, but I couldn't be in his life for just a weekend. It's not fair." Emerald eyes flashed fiercely, "Regina I'm gonna get there I promise."

"I believe you."

"We could eat coco puffs every morning." Emma glanced longingly at the box of cereal on the counter.

"It's alright Emma, we'll wait." Regina shook her head, setting her plate down softly and drawing Emma into her arms. "We'll get to know each other a little better...You get to believe in yourself and I need to learn to trust."

"That's a lot of homework." Emma giggled nervously.

The older woman nodded, the blonde wasn't the only one with reservations.

But she let Emma take the lead, and she slowly but surely inched them back onto the couch, dropping kisses on every inch of bare skin she could find. They got to know each other again, with deep kisses and roaming hands exploring soft curves.

Emma woke early and dutifully dragged herself from the warm embrace. She stood for several moments watching the peacefully sleeping brunette, then tugged on leggings and t-shirt.

"Emma," The other woman mumbled drowsily, reaching blindly for her.

The blonde sat down beside her as she tied her running shoes. "I'll be right back babe, sleep more ok."

"Alright."

Emma bent and kissed her forehead before jogging out of the apartment.

Even with her MP3 played going at full blast in her ears, she couldn't help but think back over the past twelve hours or so. She supposed this had been going on longer than that, but she hadn't remembered until she'd kissed the gorgeous brunette.

Not that she was complaining about the kisses of course, in fact she was patting herself on the back for even being able to string two words together in the presence of the amazingly sexy woman.

And then there was Henry.

She began to piece together what she knew, information that she now knew had come from years of visits.

But there were only moments of clarity over years of foggy memories.

She splashed through a puddle in her distraction, soaking her shoe and up the back of her leg.

Cursing, Emma pushed herself for another kilometre before she turned back.

She struggled though the misaligned moments in her memories in hopes of lighting on a explanation.

There was an explanation just out of her grasp, she knew it.

But her mind only became more clogged with cotton balls, thick towels and fuzzy socks.

Hell, she couldn't remember why she couldn't remember.

In the end, as she jogged up the stairs, she decided that it didn't matter how they got where they were today, all that mattered was how she felt with this woman and how happy it made her feel to learn about her son.

She squelched into the apartment and shucked her clothes, dropping them in a pile.

* * *

 

Regina was roused from her slumber by the soft movements and she caught the fleeting sight of long pale legs and a naked, firm ass as it disappeared into the bathroom.

Every nerve ending woke up and sent their demands straight to her core. She felt swollen, sensitive. She squirmed, she rolled on her back and stared up at the ceiling, but even the weight of the duvet was too much.

What if she just got up and joined Emma in the shower?

She could do that.

She needed to do that.

She slid front he bed, carefully removing her sleepwear and folding it on her pillow.

She hesitated at the bathroom door, gathering her confidence. Usually she didn't care what people thought about her body, she controlled what they thought in most cases. But this situation was anything but usual, She cared about Emma and she cared what she thought.

What if she didn't like what she saw?

The hesitation was a moment too long, the shower had shut off and Emma sidled out of the steamy bathroom wrapped in a towel.

She nearly ran into her on the doorstep, "Wow, Regina, good morning."

The brunette flushed from her ears to her thighs. Her confidence disappeared, she hurried into the bathroom and shut the door. "Good morning, Emma," She managed from behind the door.

The blonde in question growled primally, "Come. Out. Here."

"I can't." Her arousal had so quickly been replaced by fear and self loathing, it coursed through her words.

Emma's voice softened, catching the sudden change in tone, "Are you sure?"

"I... I'm sure. " The brunette cursed herself for being so impulsive. She always thought things through carefully then she didn't get hurt and neither did anyone else. It was safe.

"It's ok Regina," Emma soothed, "And Regina, you're beautiful."

"Thank you," She whispered.

She let the water flow over her, taking her deep disappointment in herself and washing it down the drain. Emma thought she was beautiful and she thought the same of Emma. She cared about Emma and from the tone in her voice she must care about her too. Wanting Emma and being wanted in return was something to celebrate, it shouldn't make her fell shamed.

And it didn't.

For this first time, since Daniel, she didn't feel ashamed.

When she shut off the water and pushed open the bathroom door, she hesitated, wondering if Emma was there just outside the door. She needed time to regain her confidence, and get used to this freeing feeling of respect.

Emma called, "Is that you Regina?"

"Yes, yes it is."

"I'm in the kitchen ok, the bedroom is all yours."

"Thank you."

Again she was reassured. This girl knew her so well, always being able to understand and deal with any mood she violently switched too.

Regina grinned happily , dressed quickly and walked straight into her arms, walking them against the kitchen counter and kissing her senseless. She took back her confidence, she showed her how grateful she was. She nipped at her lower lip and soothed it with her tongue, "Breakfast dear?"

"I...I was thinking cereal," Emma breathed heavily, her eyes unfocused.

"And now?

"Now I'm not thinking much of anything," She admitted sheepishly.

"Cereal it is then."

Regina tucked into frosted flakes and Emma into her respective coco puffs.

When Emma's thoughts cleared, she spoke up, "Hey so I've lived here for three months and I've done nothing in terms of being a tourist. Wanna go do something?"

"Like what?"

"I was thinking the aquarium, a ferry boat, a walk around downtown, the stadium, you know basic stuff."

"Sounds lovely."

* * *

 

They wandered through the exhibits, where Regina read every placard and watched every video while Emma chose instead to stare mesmerized at the fish in the tank. They fell into a rhythm, where Regina would come up behind the other woman when she'd finished reading and they'd study the fish together, Emma recounting stories she'd constructed.

Freshwater fish proved to be dull and Emma decided that the older looking trout was having an affair with a tiny salmon and that the bass was spying on the school of sunfish.

The penguin room had her imitating Morgan Freeman's narration of March of the Penguins.

In the deep sea exhibit, Emma took Regina's hand in the darkness, Their fingers entwining as they bumped into each other. She sat with Regina as she watched a video, brushing lazy circles at the base of her wrist.

"Shhh, I can't concentrate."

"I didn't say anything, " Emma protested.

"Well you were distracting me."

"Good, " The blonde retorted, pressing a quick kiss below her ear

Regina stubbornly returned her attention to the video and Emma continued her ministrations.

Emma continued to hold her hand past the large tanks of tropical fish. "Do you think Henry would like this one?"

"I think he'd love it." Regina nodded.

The younger woman beamed with pride, accepting the small connection with her son. "Go ahead, I'll take a picture."

Regina puckered up exaggeratedly for a bright yellow fish that blinked at her from the other side of the glass.

The blonde flipped open her phone and snapped a small grainy photo.

Regina ushered her over, tugged her into the picture, "I want a memory with you too."

Emma took the picture in an exuberant daze. "We look good together."

"We do." Glanced around and kissed her quickly, "Thank you for suggesting this place."

"Thank you for being a tourist with me." Emma snapped the phone shut, "Hey, maybe someday we can be tourists together, like for real."

"Where would you like to go?"

"Paris," The blonde blurted immediately, " I know it's totally typical but it would be just so romantic." She sighed dramatically, kissing her cheek with near childish exuberance.

"I'd love to go with you Emma." Regina admitted shyly, "I've never been out of the United States."

"Ahhh, so that's the real reason." The younger woman teased.

In the glowing blue light of the large fish tank, Regina leaned forward, "I'd love to take you to a five star hotel, feed you chocolate covered strawberries and Dom Perignon and make love to you for days."

Then she walked away with an extra sway in her hips, leaving a stunned Emma behind.

Emma hurried after her, sticking to her side through the last few exhibits, making every excuse to touch her. A hand on her waist, a caress of her cheek, a pat on her ass.

Every touch had Regina jumping into the deep pool of longing and drowning happily.

Hand in hand they walked through the city, excitement rising with every new discovery, with every tourist destination they crossed off the map.

They stood at the bow of the ferry boat, arms out and laughing, letting their delighted giggles fly away on the wind. Their tension only grew, sparking heat that rode on the waves of the cool ocean breeze.

Emma stepped up behind the brunette, her hand splayed across her stomach to hold her close. She raised Emma's arms, lacing their fingers together. " You have to say it Regina."

"Say what?" She sighed, leaning back just enough to feel the warmth emanating from the other woman.

"The line."

"Which line?"

"From the movie."

"Which movie?" Regina smiled softly, enjoying the way Emma's voice rose in slight exasperation.

"Don't make me say it." Emma kissed her earlobe playfully.

"Say what?"

"Regina!" Emma whirled her around, searching her eyes.

"I really don't know," The brunette stood on tiptoes and kissed her quickly.

" _I'm flying Jack_ ," She sagged, "From Titanic."

Regina pursed her lips, lifting an eyebrow quizzically. "I'm sorry I don't know." But she turned then in Emma's arms, and murmured, "I'm flying Jack."

Emma smiled into her hair and tugged her around to capture her lips with her own.

* * *

 

They arrived back at the apartment brimming with laughter and excitement but in the confines of the dark and cozy apartment, the high energy took on a different flavor.

The bubbling happiness began to jump with sharp, spicy tension.

They were drawn to each other like magnets and like magnets they were pushed apart. They were dancing around each other, moving to the kitchen sink to get a glass of water, walking to the window to glance outside. Their conversation quieted to nearly nothing as they waited for the inevitable force to push them together.

It came in the form of an index finger, hooking itself in a belt loop as Regina came to stand beside Emma at the window.

She made the first contact, knowing her reservations of the morning required that she make the first move. She tugged Emma closer, their hips bumping into each other as their stared out at the flickering lights of the city. Her arm snaked around the blonde's waist, slipping her hand into her back pocket and resting her head on her shoulder.

It began as a tender embrace, but the sizzling surge of sexual tension overflowed and came rushing out. There was nothing to stop her from sinking her teeth into Emma's neck in a possessive nip and nothing to stop her from covering the same spot with her lips.

Emma shot into action, dragging Regina up so that their lips met heatedly. She ran her tongue along her full lower lip demanding that Regina let her in.

The brunette sighed, lips parting to grant sweet access. She tasted like hot mulled wine, heady and exotic. Her hands slipped beneath Emma's shirt, nails scrapping across the sensitive skin of her back.

Emma shivered at her cold hands on warm skin, the contrast between fire and ice sending every rational thought into oblivion. Every nerve ending screamed at her, demanded more, encouraged her to give even more than that. Her hands slid across the smooth, full curve of her ass, scooping up the smaller woman and carrying her to short distance to the bedroom.

Emma laid her down carefully, immediately pausing to pull her own shirt over her head. Amongst fevered meeting of lips and tongue, Emma painstakingly undid every button on the other woman's blouse and struggled to tug it out of the way.

With Emma staring down at her, kneeling between her legs on the large bed, reality struck. Caution and doubt began to creep though the cracks in their desire.

Their lips met with hesitation, their tongues slowing their fevered exploration. Regina's hands fell to her sides and she murmured against her lips, "Emma."

The blonde froze, "Regina."

"I just... I care about you too much," Her eyes shut in agonizing reservation.

"Too much to sleep with me?"

"I never slept with anyone I cared about before and I want it to be right, I want it to be good." In all her years, Regina had never cared. She wanted only to forget, she wanted release, she wanted to feel for a few minutes. Emma was different, in every way, from the way she made her feel to the way Regina wanted to make her feel.

"I care about you too, I don't want to hurt you."

"You won't." Regina promised, knowing that the blonde was the only one who could ever hurt her.

"Do you trust me?"

"I do." She did, more than anything.

"Good, because I trust you."

Regina shyness only increased, she turned her head to safely study the wall. " Have you ever... I mean with a woman."

Emma dropped a quick kiss on her collar bone, the small contact drawing them together again, pushing away the uncertainty and bringing their passion back to the surface. She replied offhandedly, "Once. In jail. I was hurting and pregnancy hormones were insane, and well let's say a friend helped me out. " She gulped, her gaze dropping to the vee between Regina's legs "Have you?"

"I have had a few maidens in my time, " Regina replied distractedly, as her hands grasped Emma's thighs, their heat burning through denim with reassurance and desire.

Emma fell forward laughing at the unexpected response, golden curls tickling Regina's bare chest, "Maidens? Regina, oh my god."

There was something about this woman that let her be herself, that brought out part of her soul that had been dormant for so long. That was all she needed to feel entirely in control again, confident and strong. Regina flipped her over suddenly, stopping her mid chuckle. She slipped a knee between her legs and crashed their mouths together in reckless abandon.

Emma rocked against her leg, moaning at the initial bursts of pleasure that blurred her vision and took her breath away. She cupped full breasts through black lace, but she needed more, she needed to give more. She reached with shaking fingers to clumsily undo the clasp of the bra and hungrily filled her hands with warm soft flesh. The garment hung between them, their eagerness leading to forgetfulness, to carelessness.

Thumbs brushed against already hard nipples and Regina arched away, the pleasure too much and not enough. She gasped, her mouth latching onto the first skin she could find, nipping and sucking at Emma's neck. Eventually she pulled away, flinging the lace to the floor beside them and reaching hungrily to free Emma of her bra. They struggled together, getting in each other's way in their hurry.

At last, they met, sensitive peaks brushing against smooth skin. In that moment, they stilled, their eyes met and they smiled. Time stopped and let them enjoy the weightless seconds before it sped up again and they were grappling for dominance.

They shimmied out of their pants and met again.

They helped each other out of their underwear and met again.

Regina hung back, her gaze raking over pale skin and golden curls.

Emma looked too, her chest heaving, "Regina, you're beautiful but so help me god get over here."

She didn't need to be asked twice.

She crawled sleek and feline towards Emma, pressing a kiss on the side of her knee, at her hipbone, at the underside of her breast. Her breath was hot against her skin, her teeth raked across her sensitive nipple, her tongue soothing the marks left behind.

Regina captured her mouth, her tongue slipping between swollen lips and her hand snaking between them. Her fingers tangled in wet curls, bringing both of them over the first crest of pleasure.

Emma lifted her hips, calling Regina closer.

The brunette complied, her fingers finding their way to the swollen bud and moving in slow slick circles. She slid lower, dipping one, then two fingers inside. Emma pulsed around her, hot walls contracting as she bucked with pleasure. Her thumb found a home against the tight knot and her fingers slid in and out.

The blonde quivered and shook, screamed and moaned, her teeth sinking into Regina's shoulder as she came apart. Her hips continued to move, and with a flick of Regina's thumb, in the midst of the aftershocks, she came again, the pleasure so sweet it was almost painful.

Emma fell back against the pillows, panting and staring wide eyed up at the older woman. "Damn."

"How eloquent dear," Regina kissed her softly, brushing a sweaty curl back from her face, and laying beside her.

As Emma caught her breath, her fingers began a distracted dance against Regina's thigh, across her flat stomach. "You're a tough act to follow."

Regina hummed, "Especially if you keep talking."

"What should I do then?" Emma asked with a mix of uncertainty and sensual challenge.

"Touch me."

"Where?" Emma tickled the thin skin at her elbow, "Here?"

The brunette shook her head.

She cupped her breast, rolling her nipple between her fingers.

"That's better dear."

She danced lower, grinding her palm against the tight knot at the apex of her thighs.

Her breath caught in her throat, "That's not bad."

"Not bad?" Emma mumbled, drawing her lower lip into her mouth and slipping a finger inside in one slick motion.

The brunette couldn't speak if her life depended on it, her hands coming to tangle in Emma's hair and tug her closer. She rocked against her palm as Emma slid in and out, waves of pleasure washing over her. She climber higher and higher with ever motion, teetering on the edge and then falling with a shattering shaking release. She ground her teeth, she bucked, she raked her fingers Emma's back. She came apart completely in Emma's arms, every physical sensation and every emotion culminating in that moment.

To her embarrassment, tears sprang in her eyes and she buried her face in Emma's shoulder.

Emma lay beside her, drawing her in and holding her close as their breathing returned to normal and Regina reigned in her emotion.

"That was really wonderful," She admitted softly.

"It was amazing Regina," Emma kissed her forehead, "You're something really special."

"I'm here."

"Until tomorrow."

She shook her head, her eyes dropping with exhaustion, "I'll always be here for you Emma."

"No one is ever there for me."

"I am." Regina sighed sleepily.

Emma's heart leapt, not from the naked woman in her arms but with hope and faith. She chuckled to herself, supposing that a naked woman didn't hurt either. For the first time she felt she could count on someone, and she felt that she might be able to be more than alone. She spoke quietly, tentatively, "I'm not really someone you can count on, but for you Regina I think that I could be there for you...I know it's not very concrete or anything but you're special to me Regina and you make me more than I am and I can be there for you when you need me." She dropped a quick kiss on her lips to seal her promise, but the other woman was already asleep, the corners of her mouth turned up in a smile.

* * *

 

They made love again in the morning, slowly waking up each inch of skin in the pale early light. Their mouths were softly pliant and their hands gentle and unhurried. They fell into a tender rhythm, moving to a chorus of breathy sighs and deep throaty moans. They came together, wrapping each other in a fierce embrace as they slowly came back to earth.

They took turns in the shower, getting dressed slowly so as not to startle the weekend away.

The end came anyways, no amount of easy conversation or soft touches able to prevent it.

"I have to tell you something," Regina stood by the door, fiddling with the buttons on her coat.

Emerald eyes flashed with fear, "What is it? Are you dying? She looked her up and down, frantically turning her in a circle before her. "Is that why you came to me?"

"No Emma, " Regina grabbed her hands, clasping them tightly between them. The sudden outburst had her words catching in her throat. She so desperately wanted to tell Emma everything. It would be so easy to let all the secrets spill out and yet years of fear stopped her from getting to close. "I just don't think we'll be able to see each other for some time and I think it's better if we don't contact each other."

Hurt and confusion sat darkly in her eyes, "But you'll come back?"

"I will. Oh Emma I will, I promise." Regina started forward, but then stopped herself before she could close the distance.

Emma nodded slowly, "You'll kiss me and we'll keep moving forward, keep getting to know each other."

"Yes." Her words were clipped, but her eyes swam with the depth of regret for the present and hope for the future.

Emma kept bobbing her head as she struggled to comprehend, "I guess this is goodbye."

"Until the next time I visit."

"Yes just until next time. " The young woman stopped nodding and threw herself into Regina's arms, "Will you give Henry a hug from me?"

"I will," She promised.

Regina kissed her fiercely, kissed her cheek softly and tore herself away. She didn't look back as she closed the door, performed the spell and rushed down the stairs.

She got in her car, drove around the block.

And sobbed.


	7. Lucky Number Seven

Things would be different this year.

They were in a the same city as the year before, the same apartment, but the changes ran deeper than the superficial setting to their jilted relationship.

Regina knew that with a simple kiss Emma's memories would begin to return.

It did little to relieve the heavy weight of guilt that had threatened to flatten her over the past year. Her self-hatred fed on her selfishness and her cursed selfishness grew from self loathing.

Her promise to return to Emma and the young woman's strength had kept her head above water. Her faith kept the coals burning, ready to burst into flames with a meeting of lips. They wouldn't begin the weekend as strangers, they could pick up where they left off.

Regina hurried up the stairs, bags in her hands, ready to keep her promise.

She bumped into a tall woman with light brown hair and enchanting dark eyes coming out of Emma apartment. Her suitcase tumbled to the ground and she turned hurriedly, ready to lash out at the insolent fool who dared to bump into the Queen. But she was already gone and a new sickly emotion was crawling through her insides, twisting, turning and toxic.

Regina retrieved her suitcase and knocked at the door, trying to squelch the nausea that roiled in her belly.

Emma answered the door in a baggy t-shirt and not much else.

Red hot jealousy pooled behind her eyes, there was no mistaking the emotion now. Her fists clenched at her sides and she growled, "Who was that?"

"Who are you?"Emma asked bluntly.

She dropped her suitcase and let her purse tumble to the floor, the contents spilling out and into the apartment. In a blur of graceful, frantic motion her hands tangled in messy curls and she crushed her lips against the blonde's.

She tasted like toothpaste, fresh mint and sweetness.

Thankfully.

Not like the other woman.

Emma responded quickly, her hands slipping beneath Regina's coat and fisting in the material of her lose shirt to pull her closer.

She was also the first to pull away, tenderly cupping Regina's face in her hands. "Regina," She breathed.

Envy was replaced with desire and tender affection, "Yes, Emma it's me."

It had worked.

Emma's cheeks flushed, her eyes darting to the stairs, "I didn't know."

"Of course you didn't, " Regina distanced them, taking her shaking hands in her own. Traitorous curiosity bubbled up and out, "Who was she?"

"A doctor, she's in town for a conference." For just a moment she reveled in the jealousy she saw in Regina's eyes, the wanting and the possessiveness. It wasn't often, in fact it was never, that someone truly wanted her. "It was the brown hair, " Emma continued.

Regina looked up then, noticing that _her_  Emma's blonde curls were dyed a warm brown.

Emma sighed, "The girl said that I reminded her of some girl that she worked with. She's in love with her, the poor girl."

"Then why?" The older woman asked plaintively.

"It was a one night stand, and barely." Emma assured her, "She did a lot more drunken sobbing than anything else."

"You still..." She was torn between nausea and longing.

"Regina I hadn't heard from you, I didn't know..." Emma whirled away and began throwing the spilled contents of Regina's purse back into the black leather depths.

"You're totally right, it's just a little strange." Regina kneeled beside her to catch a few stray pens and a business card or two, "I just didn't expect you to be with another woman."

"Did you expect me to be celibate for, what a year?" She stood up and dragged the suitcase into the apartment, closing the door behind them. "You mean to tell me you have been totally sexless for a year."

"Well ..." She had in fact turned down any open invitation, it would have been too selfish of her, to basically cheat on someone she cared for while their memories were missing. It would have been easy, so easy, but she needed to keep a single selfless act to prevent herself from succumbing to the dark weight of guilt.

"Exactly." Emma took a deep breath, schooled her features and pulled Regina into her arms, "It didn't mean anything, she's gone back to her life and I'm here, with you. I care about you and you only, when you let me at least."

"I'm letting you now."

"Good, then can let yourself you care about me?"

Regina nodded, features softening. She reached for brown locks, "Why did you change your hair?"

"I was running again."

"Again, oh Emma." Senselessly Regina studied the young woman for any sign of bruised skin.

"No, it's alright. This time, I was mostly running from myself, from my memories, memories I didn't even know I had."

"Emma, why didn't you contact me. " Regina wondered at the strength of her spell, searching her answers for cracks in its structure.

"You asked me not to."

"And you just didn't? "

Something was off, but she couldn't place her finger on it. It squiggled and jiggled away from her like melting jello, "I guess...something stopped me. Fear or trust, I don't really know what." She shook her head, trying to clear the cobwebs, "It makes my brain hurt to try and think about it."

"Emma, I'm sorry."

"It's weird but it's fine I guess. I really only care about the fact that you're here and I don't want to waste another minute of our, what, two days together. "

She helped Regina out of her coat and helped herself to Regina's embrace. " Can I kiss you now please?"

"Please."

But Regina didn't have to beg, their lips meeting in bursts of pleasure and sweet clarity.

* * *

They lay curled together on the couch, all harsh words and tense jealousy forgotten as they chatted comfortably.

"How my boy?" Emma asked.

"He's absolutely wonderful, " Regina kissed her cheek and reached over to pull some photos from her purse.

Emma flipped through them, her every facet gleaming with joy. "Hey! That's his dog Pongo right?"

"Yes it is, and that would be Archie. He went with Henry to school for Father- Son day and showed the class how Pongo came with him to work."

"You and Archie?"

Regina shook her head, "No, he's simply a close family acquaintance." She continued sadly, "The only person I feel I can truly confide in."

"What about me?" Emma pouted, pale pink lips curving most deliciously.

"Other than you of course." The brunette leaned forward, slanting her lips over Emma's, plying them, teasing them until they curved up in a sweet smile. She sat back, pleased with herself, and carried on with her stories, "He started grade one this year."

"No way! Like real school!"

"Yes, dear," The older woman chuckled softly.

"What's his favourite subject?

"He loves to write, he's very quick with words."

"He always has been," Emma nodded, willing the memories back.

"On weekends if I'm stuck doing paper work, he'll come in and sit at his little desk I had put in my office and he'll just write. " She continued, her fingers tracing letters across Emma's exposed arm. "Every so often he'll ask me how to spell something but then he'll shoo me away if I ask him what his story is about."

"He doesn't tell you," Emma chuckled.

"He will after he's finished, he'll ask me to bind it with the machine I bind the town meeting minutes with. Then he'll read it to me and we add it to the collection we have on a shelf in my office." The dark brunette vibrated with pride while she described the process.

"What about pictures?"

"No," Regina laughed easily, "He can't draw to save his life."

Emma poked her in the ribs, "Oh c'mon do I have to yell at you for being mean to my son."

The brunette rolled, pinning the other woman's arms above her head with one hand and tickling her side with the other. Inch by inch she raised her shirt, racking her nails over the muscled abdomen.

"Regina!" She hooted with laughter, "Stop I want to tell you something."

"What dear?"

A shy smile spread across her features and she tugged her down beside. The blonde hid her in Regina's shoulder and whispered. "I used to make up stories too, when I was little. Do you think maybe he gets it from me?"

Regina pulled her from her hiding spot, her next words bringing the brightest grin to Emma's young face. "Yes, I believe he does."

At ease now, Emma ploughed on, "I needed something to keep me company during the many hours I spent hiding from myself or from the families I was with. To keep myself from feeling so alone, I'd come up with these elaborate stories."

"Did you ever write them down?" Regina's heart cracked and crumbled at the thought of her Emma struggling to keep her head above water in her early years. What a look inside her soul it would be to read such a story.

Emma shook her head, "I wasn't very good at spelling and my handwriting was horrible. I tried though, until one of my foster families found them and I was sent back for being an ungrateful sinner." She ignored the pained look Regina sent her way, "I still remember my stories, they're like little movies in my head."

"Would you write them down now?"

She shook her head,"I don't think I could write very well plus, I feel like they would seem just a little less real. The way they are now, they're perfect and I can replay them, whenever I need to." Emma poked her in the ribs teasingly, so as to climb out of the hole of memories. "What about his other mother?"

Her body stilled, breath went out of her. "No, imagination as something quickly beaten from me. It filled your brain with unnecessary hopes and dreams, and got in the way of truly important skills and graces."

"Regina." Emma froze, reaching to pulled the other woman closer.

The brunette accepted the embrace but her sharp words cut through the already tense atmosphere, "Don't."

"Ok." Emma tugged on her earlobe, "How about you tell me one of Henry's stories."

"There once was a swan..."

Emma sighed and settled into the story, curling into Regina's side and her sweet melodic voice lulled her into a happy stupor.

She dozed off, only to be awakened by a soft kiss, "Emma sweetheart, we should get to bed."

The blonde's grip tightened on her shirt, "Mngph, no."

"You may be young, but I will require a proper bed," Regina announced regally.

"Yes, your majesty." Emma stumbled up and rubbed her eyes,"Wait Regina you want to sleep with me?"

"Why not?" The brunette pushed her in the direction of the bathroom, handing her her toothbrush and squirting a generous amount of toothpaste on the bristles.

"I mean, I slept with that girl."

Regina's voice deepened and came just a little bit louder in the small room, "Do not think you will be getting lucky tonight Miss Swan because I do not feel comfortable in doing to. Since I do wish to be comfortable tonight, I wish for you to be in my arms and I wish for our bed."

The younger woman chewed on her toothbrush, collecting her thoughts. "Alright. Good. Cool."

And so after Emma flicked on the nightlight and Regina made herself at home by positioning her hand lotion and a hardcover book on the nightstand, they climbed into their bed. The two women met in the middle, legs entwining and arms securing their embrace.

A slow smile spread across the younger woman's features, through the dredges of sleep, she looked dopily across at the other woman, "You're pretty."

"Nice try." Regina kissed the corner of her mouth, "Goodnight Emma"

"Night," She mumbled and wiggled closer, tucking her nose into the sweet hollow of the other woman's throat.

* * *

"Hey, I don't know if you had plans for today or expectations or whatever, but I thought I could show you something." Emma looked up from the late-breakfast dishes she was drying.

"Of course, dear."

"Awesome, you'll need to wear something casual ok?" Her words accented with a clatter of silverware.

She'd learned from past years to pack less formal clothes than her usual fare for the adventures Emma was sure to cook up. Regina returned only moments later in dark blue jeans that flared fashionably at her ankles and cozy red woolen sweater. "Will this do?"

Emma for her part sported jeans as well and a long sleeved t-shirt with Greendale Community Centre emblazoned on the front. "It's perfect." Tender affection swam in sea-green eyes as she made her way over for a congratulatory kiss.

They walked hand in hand the few blocks to a community centre where Emma signed them in, in binder at the front desk, and took her to a small gymnasium on the basement level.

"What is this Emma? " She glanced around the lowly lit room, from the scuffed floor to the posters and childish paintings that lined the walls.

She ducked her head, mumbling quickly, "I run a sort of youth group here on Saturdays for foster kids or underprivileged kids or whoever wants to come. There's a group therapy session for kids in the hour before so they can come here right after its done and let off some steam before their parents come pick them up." Her sneaker clad toe traced one of the painted-on lines on the wooden floor. "I always wanted something like this when I was little and I always wanted to give back and I feel like I should maybe start getting my shit together and I actually like doing this and I wanted to show you because it's important to me." She sighed, filling her lungs with much needed air to continue her sentence that ran on and on, "And maybe you won't see me as such a screw up who's always running away and sleeping with the wrong people just because of the colour of my hair, which I don't even like either, I only did it because I wanted to be taken seriously for once and not be the brunt of dumb blonde jokes..." She blinked rapidly, matching the rate at which she spoke.

Regina strained to pick up the words, finally choosing that moment to interrupt the steady stream of thoughts. She stepped forward and pulled her into her arms, just held her tightly, letting her hands trail down her back. They didn't need words, Emma had spoken enough for them both, they just needed the reassurance that they were there for each other. That Regina was there for Emma, that she cared, that she was important. She felt the tension melt away, felt her relax into the welcoming embrace. "How can I help?" She asked simply.

Shoulders slumped with gratitude, "Well, we do a warm up of a sorts at first then the kids help me make an obstacle course and then we'll play a game the last bit. So...uh, maybe you can help me bring out all the stuff for the obstacle course."

"Sure," She kissed her quickly, landing at the corner of her mouth, before helping her haul bags of colorful balls, bean bags and rainbow masking tape.

The children began to come trickling in, some running to give Emma a clinging hug and others running by with a fist bump before finding their friends.

Emma led the warm up, incorporating music and dance, acting and stretching so that there was something for everyone. Children from early school age to mid teens hung to her every word.

The obstacle course was entirely the children's design, from ballet and hip hop stations, to hula hooping and hockey.

Halfway through the hour, Regina tugged off her heeled boots and ran about in her socked feet.

She cheered from the sidelines while they played basketball, having words of encouragement for every child. As much as loved to watch the children running and laughing, watching the joyful brightness grow in Emma's eyes and the excited blush that lit up her face was the greatest sight of all. Through their conversations over the years, Regina knew that Emma had cultivated a love for the work she did, but this was something else entirely, she shone.

When the last child filed through the door and Emma put the last few basketballs into the cage, she turned wide eyes to meet Regina's, "I just want to take them all home with me, I want to give them some love in their lives."

"Don't you see Emma, you do."

"I love them a whole lot, but beyond this hour... " She deflated, clutching her arms around her middle.

"I know."

She shook her head, "You don't, not really."

"No, I suppose you're right, I don't understand. I do know you and I can see it in your eyes, I can see how you feel. I see how they are too, "Regina urged, "And they're happy here today because of you, you give them something to look forward to every week."

"You give me too much credit."

The brunette stepped forward then, pulling the young woman with frizzy hair into her arms. "You don't give yourself enough credit." Her heart swelled and she brushed a thumb across her flushed cheek, "You were right, this is incredibly special and very important."

"Thanks," She whispered, "You know I'm actually starving and there's a burger place around the corner."

Regina's husky laugh echoed through the small gym, "Well what are we waiting for."

It  _was_  just around the corner, and within ten minutes Emma was munching happily on a burger covered in thick melted mozzarella in honour of her son and Regina picked at her own chicken burger with fresh greens and tomato. They shared a basket of fries, that Regina separated into bundles of seven before eating them.

Emma nudged her, gesturing at the oddity with her fork.

"Since his birthday, Henry has been eating his food, and doing everything, in multiples of seven. He says its good luck. I guess the habit has already stuck."

"Huh." The younger woman looked thoughtfully at the burger she just picked up. "How does he manage that for hamburgers and stuff?"

"He hasn't tried that yet, but I'm sure I'll find out." Regina laughed, "Pancakes are interesting, he'll cut seven bites, eat them and then cut seven more. Sometimes meals are a rather lengthy affair."

"He's hilarious!" She chortled and choked momentarily on her food, "Oh man, he must drive you crazy."

She nodded happily, "That's our Henry."

In the warm sun, that slowly began its descent over the horizon, they basked in the glow of motherhood.

* * *

"I'm ready to talk now," Regina sat in the middle of the couch, back straight and feet planted firmly on the floor.

Emma looked mildly surprised at the sudden announcement, "Ooook, I feel like this is a whisky and a box of tissues type of conversation though."

"I can assure you I will be dry eyed," Her steely gaze met Emma's understanding expression.

"You don't have to be so strong all the time Regina, it's just me," Emma reached for her hand, "I'll care about you no matter what. "

She took her hand back, clasping them in her lap. She began without embellishment, "My mother was very strict, she had her ideas of how I should act and if I didn't perform well enough, she would correct me. "

"Regina, you can dance around the subject. You can use any fancy words you like but it's still abuse."

"You're the expert on this I see," She snapped.

Emma nodded resignedly, "I am."

The older woman immediately felt sorry for lashing out and she looked up into pain filled eyes that matched her own in an attempt to convey the sincerity of a silent apology.

Emma nodded and took her hand again.

This time, Regina accepted it gratefully and clung to it for dear life.

"Whether the abuse is emotional or physical..." Emma trailed off at the look on Regina's face. She continued softly, "Or if it was both... She had no right Regina. It took me a long time to understand that, but you have to too."

"How did you?"

"When I was in jail actually." Emma laughed , a mixture of sadness and lightheartedness that didn't seem to belong, "It turned out to be a great place compared to everywhere I had been before that. I got a bed to sleep in for a year, I had three meals a day. I got to get my GED and I got therapy sessions. It gave me a chance to put the past behind me. "

"And you did?"

"I did. They told me I wasn't a bad person, that the people who had hurt me had been the ones in the wrong. They told me to break the chain, to go out there and make the world a better place." Emma laughed again, shaking her head at her younger self, "To their surprise and to mine, I listened."

"You did. "

"I did." Emma tugged her closer, drawing her into her lap. "You broke the chain too Regina, look at you now."

The brunette laid her cheek against Emma's shoulder, "I suppose so..."

Emma ploughed on, determined to help the strong woman in her arms, "I know that it doesn't take away the pain, but we mean something Regina, we are not useless. "

She lifted a tearstained face from her shoulder and gazed into sea green eyes, "You're good at this."

"I know," She simpered in an attempt to bring some levity into the conversation, but then quickly sobered again, "I guess I shouldn't be proud of that."

"You help others, you should be proud of that." The brunette tapped her index finger against Emma's chin, "You were amazing today, leading the kids like you did, giving them some happiness in their sad little lives."

Emma grinned, "I'm breaking the chain."

The older woman looked thoughtful, "Emma?"

"Yeah?"

"May you tell me what happened, how you got to jail and how Henry was...conceived."

"I thought you knew about the birds and the bees," The blonde teased.

"I do, Emma stop I'm serious."

"I'm sorry, it's just that what if it's something you don't want to hear. "

"Nothing you tell me will change how I feel about you," She reassured the younger woman.

Emma sighed, "Alright, what is it that you do know. "

"I know you ran away from your foster family at age 16 then there is no record of you until you went to prison at 18, where you had Henry."

Emma sighed and flopped back on the couch, bringing Regina with her so that the smaller woman lay comfortably on her chest. "I hitchhiked across the country and that was fun for a couple months, then I had a close call and decided to be safer and stick to a smaller radius. I stole and I tried to keep a low profile. That is, until I met Neal."

"Henry's father? "Regina prompted,

She nodded. " He found me stealing and we made a great team. I fell in love, he was my first everything. Henry he was conceived from love even if it was naive, and stupid. "

Regina placed a kiss at her jaw line, "Emma, your feelings were valid, don't regret something as wonderful as love, especially first love."

"I know they were, that's the worst and best part." She took a deep breath and continued, "Then he made me take the fall for expensive watches he stole and I found out I was pregnant in jail. Henry got really good care in there."

"I'm glad."

Emma drew a random pattern across her back, the material of her shirt bunching and stretching as she moved. "You know babies are supposed to be able to hear in there, so I'd sing to him or read him my homework. I didn't want him to ever think he was alone."

"You are a fantastic mother Emma Swan."

"I'm not."

"For those nine months you were all he had, and you were wonderful."

"Thank you. " The blonde studied her curiously, "Did you ever have anyone like Neal."

"Yes," She replied curtly.

Emma's curiosity got the better of her, "Oooh who was it? Guy? Girl? Please tell me that it ended better than mine."

Regina shook her head . "It was a guy, his name was Daniel. We were engaged secretly and when my mother found out she killed him right in front of me. "

Every muscle in her body tensed, "Jesus Regina no."

"Yes," She replied matter of flatly so that there was not time for Emma to question the actions, " I was forced to marry the then...mayor of the city, he was old enough to be my father. "

"Did he? You know?"

Regina did know. She nodded once, "He took pleasure in my pain. Thankfully he passed away a few years into my marriage. I became mayor and never once looked back." The sharp look on her face told Emma that the discussion was over.

"Oh Regina, I had no idea."

"Don't pity me." The older woman growled angrily, wrenching away and moving to stand staring out the window at the falling rain.

Emma pleaded from her spot on the couch, "I don't pity you, I admire you. We've both had less than ideal childhoods and you, look at you...You've got a great job, a perfect son, you're happy. "

"Almost happy, I'm just missing something...something like you."

"Something like me...or me" Emma teased, wandering over to put her arms around her waist and nuzzle the back of her neck.

Regina turned in her arms and pressed their lips together, "You."

Her fingers danced at the waistband of Emma's jeans, coming around to the front to deftly undo the button. She slid a teasing hand just inside, to cup her through her panties, enough to feel the heat emanating from her core, enough to know that the blonde was more than ready for her. She smirked and withdrew her hand, instead pulling Emma down for a deep kiss.

They fell into now.

Now it was only them, only the women they were today, shaped and struck by their past into forged steel.

Determined steps carried them to the bedroom.

Fierce movements tossed the pillows to the floor.

Strong arms held Emma hovering over Regina as she worshiped every inch of her body, sucking and caressing, with sweet kisses and skillful teasing.

Hips rocked together violently as they brought themselves over the edge.

They clutched each other as their breathing evened out and their kisses petered out.

Within moments they lay beside each other, hands snaking between them to pick up a softer, slower rhythm.

They came one after another in sweet ecstasy.

Emma pressed a kiss to neck and rested her cheek on her chest, her breath coming out in hot puffs against Regina's rapidly cooling skin. "God, who are you." She asked teasingly

"You have no idea," She cringed inwardly, wishing she could just tell the woman beside her who she really was. Instead she hoped her tone of voice took on the same good natured sense that Emma had used, "Or maybe Miss Swan, you do."

Emma giggled and with a shiver, she attempted to reach for the duvet with her toes.

After receiving a knee in her stomach, Regina slid to the end of the bed and settled the thick blankets over them. The weight anchored them to the moment, held in all the emotions and the physical pleasure and wrapped it around them in a warm cocoon.

With playful teasing and smacking kisses, they settled down, not bothering put anything on, and fell into dreamland.

* * *

_She ran. The rooms were never-ending. Pulling open door after door trying to find an escape, only to be greeted with cruel laughter and sharp words. No playing Regina. Cold tentacles grasping at her ankles. She tumbles to the floor, scraping her knees, tearing her dress. Another door. Regina, you speak only when spoken too. Thick mud filled her mouth. She choked it down. Another corridor, another door. You're a disgrace, not fit for a princess. The heat, it rose. The sparks singed her already torn dress. This will teach you. Another door. Tight electricity bound her, threw her into the wall. Her head was spinning. She wobbled through another door. Are you running form me? You know there's no running in the castle. Her legs grew heavier, she couldn't move. Numb, she was going numb. Her fingers, her arms, her lungs. Her heart was next. Would it stop? She couldn't breathe. She opened her mouth to scream, to let the air in..._

She was shaking, but oh thank the gods, she was moving again.

"Shhhh baby, Regina I'm here. "

Emma.

A cool hand brushed the damp curls out of her face and warm lips placed a gentle kiss on her forehead. "The light's on ok, you're safe. I'm here, I won't let anything happen to you."

She gasped deep lungfuls of clean air, wiggling her fingers her toes.

Her eyes snapped open, and met beautiful green eyes in the warm glow of the bedside lamp. Caramel curls tickled her shoulder. She was safe.

"Emma," she breathed.

"I'm here." She nodded, concern playing on her features.

Concern and something else.

Understanding.

"You get them too?" Regina whispered, her voice still laced with a dark sort of fear that didn't quite make it to the daylight.

The blonde nodded.

"What are yours about?" She shook still, clutching at Emma's chest, pulling the blankets closer for protection.

Emma sat up, pilling the pillows against the headboard and settled Regina against her chest, wrapping her arms tightly around her. "I dream that I'm being tossed from one person to another, like a basketball or soccer ball or something. I'm out of control, just being tossed in the air, again and again. The world spins and then there's no one there to catch me. I... I fall forever. Sometimes when I reach the bottom, or whatever, I break. I shatter into a million pieces. They sting, they cut, they slice me raw, even though I am the pieces. "

"Is it the same every time?" She asked the questions, she took in the facts.

"Yes, since I was sixteen, since I was on my own."

"I'm so sorry. " Her eyes filled with tears as she met Emma's wounded gaze.

"Don't be." The younger woman shook her head, "Like you said earlier, don't pity me, it's not your fault. I am who I am today because of or in spite of my past and I'd like to say that I've come pretty damn far."

"My mother."

"What?"

"That's what my dream was about."

Emma was silent, in case she wanted to say anything more. When she didn't, the blonde traced a finger along her collar bone and dipped into the vee between her breasts. She pressed a kiss to the dark waves, still damp with a cold sweat. "Do you think you can sleep some more?"

Regina shook her head.

It was dark still, but just after five in the morning. A little early but not inhuman to be up.

Any exhaustion had been chased away by adrenaline, by sheer force of will to protect the small, strong woman in her arms.

Emma took a deep breath and headed for her dresser, pulling two oversized t-shirts for them to wear. "This will make you feel safer," She promised, motioning for Regina to take a seat in the arm chair that overflowed with clothes. She spoke softly as she changed the sheets, "And this will make you feel clean and whole again. You know I got nightmares a lot in jail, crazy ones form the hormones. Not as bad as _the nightmare_ , but pretty bad. I would wake up in these cold sweats, my pillow drenched in tears. One of my roommates told me turn my pillow over and flip the sheets over as well, and that I'd feel better after. I don't know if the almost clean sheets helped or just the act of doing something so mechanical brought me back..." She looked over at the haunted, hunched woman, an encouraging smile playing at her lips, "Maybe I should be getting you to help make the bed."

The brunette sniffled, her shoulders hunched.

"Regina that was supposed to be a happy story, and I was just teasing about the bed, you don't have to."

She looked up, eyes haunted. "It was happy."

"Kinda," She chuckled resignedly, "It was kinda a story of hope you know, that even in the darkest of places you'll find some light." She threw her head back and laughed in earnest then, "God, I didn't know I could be so poetic. C'mon back to bed before I start going totally crazy and start rhyming."

A tiny smile met her thin pressed lips, and she let the younger woman bring her back to bed, the sheets cool and fresh against their exposed skin.

They lay together, lulled into reality as the sun began to cast its warmth across their bed, as it pushed through the rainstorm from the day before.

Their hearts bumped in their chests, one just a few beats faster than the other. One a melody, the other a sweet harmony, completing each other.

When the sun filled the room with a pale yellow glow, Emma turned out the light and pulled Regina into the shower with her. In the hot steam, and with skilled hands working the knots from her back, colour returned to Regina's cheeks. Long fingers worked up a lather and rinsed her hair as she moaned with pleasure, it brought the light back into her eyes. As Emma began to cover her body in strawberry scented bubbles, the warmth came back into her heart.

She gripped her hips and breathed a  _thank you_  in the moment before she slanted their mouths together.

They stood locked together, the water beating down on their shoulders, for a long time.

* * *

It was that moment again.

The moment where a suitcase sat by the front door.

The time for goodbye.

The time for Regina to lock herself away in her safe little prison for another year.

Emma took a deep breath, shoving her hands into the pockets of her sweats. "So this is it, again. I'll hear from you in what a year?"

Regina couldn't read the tone of voice over the sound of her own self-loathing. Was she angry or was she happy that she didn't have to tie herself down? "Yes...Emma, I don't know what else to do."

She deflated, "You're right I guess. I mean what can we do?"

She was angry. Bile rose in her throat, the thought of adding Emma's anger to her own guilt was almost too much. Until she bitterly reminded herself that she had no right to be upset, it was her own doing.

"You can see me more often?" Emma whispered, her hands reaching forward traitorously.

She didn't hate her. She wanted her. They would be ok.

Could she come more often? Could they have a more normal relationship? "I can't make any promises, I... I save up all year."

"I thought you were rich?"

"Not where it counts." She had no way of knowing how much magic she had. She didn't even know if she would have enough to leave Storybrooke again, this could be the last time she ever saw Emma. Panic rose in a vise grip around her lungs and forced the light from her eyes again.

The blonde noticed, she always noticed.

She tugged Regina into the circle of her arms, placing a soft kiss on her forehead, "Ok Regina , let's get this over with and before we know it we'll be together again."

"Yes," There had to be enough, to finish this visit and begin the next.

They sighed into a kiss, tongues meeting, dancing and tasting. They clung to each other, coats, hair, it didn't matter. They sank in, they took their final sip of happiness.

"See you soon." Regina was stepping away, already beginning to step through the spell.

"See you soon."

It was so much better than goodbye.


	8. Everyday Eight

Regina blew into the windy city on a windstorm, the plane pitching and jerking as it made its decent through the dark storm clouds. She'd gotten used to flying with her now yearly trips, in fact she quite liked it, but this was far from pleasant. She focused her attention on the tiny television screen before her, hoping that concentrating on a romantic comedy would take her mind off her rolling stomach.

She wobbled off the plane and drove her rental car with shaking limbs to the large brick apartment building near the centre of the city. Despite the wind and the late hour, people milled about, fighting to walk against the wall of air and the heavy drops of rain. It was a Friday night and people had things to do.

With clammy hands and a racing heart she pitched her way up the old wooden stairs to the second floor. Girding herself against a repeat from last year, she knocked on the door.

Blonde curls, they were blonde again, emerald eyes surrounded by smudged mascara, and a sleepy smile that mumbled a breathless, "Hi."

"Are you alone?" Regina ventured, expecting another doctor or some rocket scientist to walk out in a state of undress. It had been a year, Emma could always be in a committed relationship. There was nothing to stop her.

"Yeah, why? Do you plan on killing me?" The blonde smirked.

The older woman shook her head, stepped forward and pressed their lips together. They sank into a familiar kiss, both tasting and remembering, both relaxing into the embrace.

Regina pulled back after a few beats, lifting her fingers to her mouth and closed her eyes against the dizzying nausea that overcame her.

"Regina, Regina, are you alright?" By luck or by something more, a single kiss was all it took for the memories to come trickling back.

"Fine, thank you dear," But she clutched at Emma's sweater, "The place ride was just a little more exciting than I bargained for."

"Ew," Emma paled visibly, "Are you gonna puke."

A soft smile played across lips, nearly white with weakness. "No I'll be all right, I just need to sit and get my balance back."

"Cool," The blonde led her carefully to a futon couch and helped her with her coat.

"I'm sorry I'm late," Regina sank back against the couch as Emma covered her with one of the afghans that found it's home over the back.

"Well I didn't know you were coming now did I, so you have nothing to apologize for."

"That's true." She nodded, laughing weakly.

Emma pressed a quick kiss to her forehead, "Can I get you something babe, some water? Juice?"

"Do you have any ginger ale?"

The younger woman scrunched her nose adorably, "It's probably flat."

"That's perfect," Regina murmured, letting her head fall back to counter balance the tilting room. "I always give Henry flat ginger ale to settle his stomach."

"Thank you." They didn't need more words, they both understood the profound gratitude that weighted the simple phrase.

"And cheerios," Regina sighed.

"I don't think I have any of those," Emma returned with the glass of lukewarm soft drink, "Do you want anything else?"

The brunette shook her head, then moaned at the sudden movement and squeezed her eyes shut. "Just you."

She laughed then, pressing a quick kiss at the corner of her mouth, "As incredibly sexy as you are, I don't think you're in any state..."

With her eyes still firmly shut, Regina reached out a hand and clumsily found Emma's mouth, "Shhh, I just want you to sit with me."

"Sure."

Regina sipped slowly, letting Emma play with her hair, slightly damp form the rain outside and the cold sweat that plagued her.

"He just turned eight?"

"Yes, he had a good little group a friends over a couple weeks ago for his party."

"Do you make his cakes?"

"I do."

"You're awesome! I always wanted a mother who would do that." She chuckled sadly, "Well I always wanted a mother."

"I could make you a cake, not as your mother of course."

"As my girlfriend? My lover?"

"Yes." She cracked her eyes open just enough to see the smile erupt across her features.

"It's in October. You never come in October." Emma chewed on her lip, conflicted emotions shadowing her graze. "Why is that?"

"Now is the only time I can get away." She'd begun this journey for Henry and Henry's birth mother, but she'd fallen in love. Yes, she could admit that now. The visits now were as much for her as they were for Henry or Emma and a visit in October would be incredibly selfish. Would there be enough magic was always a question, but more than that, without the excuse of her son Regina felt rage. It was self directed rage, strong enough to warrant another curse, she didn't deserve to be happy.

"Oh," The blonde deflated.

A voice in the back of her mind asked,  _doesn't Emma deserve to be happy?_

Regina took the blonde hands in her own, watching a small smile grace her lips as their fingers entwined.  _"_  Perhaps we can work something out."

_Look, I make Emma happy now._

"Ok." She sighed heavily, "Do you want anything to eat?"

The brunette blanched quickly, "No, no thank you. I might like to freshen up a little though."

"Sure!" Emma helped her up, eagerly babbling, "I got some funky smelling bubble bath, you should use it. The kids from the community centre got it for me when I left. I never keep stuff, because it's stupid you know, and it's gotta fit in my car. But it smelled so cool and they were all such cool kids I just kept it..." She trailed off, smiling sheepishly with a faint blush spreading over her cheeks.

"Why did you leave Emma?"

"Same reason I always leave, I get scared and I run."

"What are you scared off?" Regina studied the tall, strong woman before her, her fingers grazing her muscled bicep.

"Scared of myself mostly, of getting too comfortable or caring too much. If I get too latched on then it just hurts too much when I'm inevitably forced to go. I was hurt too many times, I'm not going to let that happen again." Her voice didn't shake, her words were clear, but pain swirled in her eyes. "I'm glad you run with me though."

"I'll go wherever you go, as long as you want."

"I want Regina. It scares me too, to care about you because I know that one day you'll leave me and I'll be alone again and I'll hurt so bad." The words tore from her throat, rough and impassioned.

"I won't leave you." Her heart clenched at the thought.

"Somehow I believe you, or maybe I feel so, so safe and happy when I'm with you that I don't really care if I hurt because it'll be worth it." She tossed her head back, a hysterical giggle spilling up and out, like she couldn't believe what she was saying.

"I won't leave you." Regina repeated urgently, wobbling slightly on her feet.

"Ok." Emma nodded, once. Twice. "You'll be ok to get the bath going? I'll just make a sandwich?"

"Yes, thank you," She tugged her in for a quick reassuring kiss, breath mingling, tongues meeting, then found her way to the bathroom on shaky legs.

For a relatively old building, the tub was modern, with shining faucets and an impressive shower head. She spun the faucets, turning the water as hot as she thought she could bear and then just a little more. The bubble bath was a deep purple colour and clashed with it's  _orange_ scent, not like the fruit but like everything orange, from peaches to pansies and from sunsets to carrots. It was sweet, rich and very fresh. It was  _funky._

She left her already wrinkled airplane clothes in a pile on the floor and tested the water with her elbow like she did when Henry was younger. She slipped into the burning water, her skin immediately turning a brilliant shade of pink, the bubbles coming to her chin. The brunette sighed, letting the water hold her in a soft cocoon and slowly bring her equilibrium back to normal.

Emma sauntered in not too long after, fanning herself against the steam and sat on the toilet seat. She munched on her extravagant sandwich as she watched Regina lounging in the warm water, with pure joy singing in her features.

"Are you going to join me dear?" The older woman asked with a wink, scooping up a handful of bubbles and blowing them in the blonde's direction.

"Am I allowed?" She studied her dubiously.

"Please."

Emma brushed the crumbs from her lab and quickly tossed her clothes in the pile with Regina's.

"Jesus Regina! The skin is going to melt off my bones in here!" She yelped and hissed, her hands hovering over the water as she wiggled beneath the bubbles.

"It feels wonderful," The brunette purred.

"You look wonderful."

When the bubbles disappeared and the water had cooled to what one may call a normal temperature, Emma rose from the water and slid to Regina on her knees. With steam still rising from the water, she pressed their lips together in a heated kiss. "Are you feeling better yet?"

"Much." Dark eyes zeroed in on pink lips and she tugged her down to meet her, sucking on her lower lip before deepening the kiss.

Emma crawled forward, slipping her knee between Regina's legs, to bring gasps of pleasure from her full lips. Then the blonde slipped, coming down hard on the side of the tub and sending a tsunami sized wave over the bathroom floor. "I'm not coordinated enough for this."

"Turn around," Regina murmured.

"What?" She found herself with Regina's breasts pressing against her back and her mouth nipping and sucking at her neck. "Oh."

One arm snaked around to tease her breasts while the other slipped between her legs.

Emma's arms flailed wildly with a longing to touch smooth skin, but as she arched with pleasure, she griped the sides of the tub for something to hold onto.

Regina's fingers are smooth pressure, slipping inside and out, dancing around the swollen nub at the apex of her thighs. The friction they bring is in dizzying contrast to the gentle water flooding about her, in her.

Her movements are slow and teasing, working her up, never staying in one place long enough.

Emma bucks and rolls against her hand, willing her to stay just a little longer until at last she does. Her fingers are sliding faster and pressing harder, the water bubbling above them with the fervour of her motions, until Emma breaks apart. She's falling back against Regina and tilting her head to demand a hungry kiss as she writhes and rides the waves of pleasure.

Their kisses slow and Regina's hands come to rest on Emma's flat stomach, holding her in an embrace that speaks for the caring and comfort that is one of the many facets of their relationship.

Emma yawned, her breath hot against Regina's skin that was cooling along with the bathwater, "I think I'm wrinkled all the way down to my you-know where."

"Here?" Regina tried, her fingers just grazing over the blonde's  _you-know-where_.

She hissed, "Yes. God woman."

They rose from the water and dried themselves in deep blue towels.

"Are these new?" The brunette gestured to the fuzz that now covered her body.

Emma's face turned a deep red, "Yeah. I bought them when I moved here. I mean I figured I'm officially in my late, well mid late twenties, and I should have some nice towels in case I... you know ever had someone over or guests or whatever and wanted to impress them"

"Well my dear, I'm very impressed." She leaned over for a quick kiss.

"You're very blue," Emma joked, handing her an older looking hand towel to help with the fluff before they slipped into their PJ's and climbed into bed.

Of all the things over the past few years, the new cities, different apartments, old memories, no memories and new memories, some things were blissfully the same. They always fell together with the same ease, they still took to the same sides of the bed, the bed that had the same grey sheets that were a simple constant in their wild and sporadic relationship.

* * *

Regina had more than recovered by the next morning, devouring the omelette and hash browns that Emma made, even asking for second helpings and leaving the fresh fruit for last.

"That's the most I've ever seen you eat," The blonde pointed out, her voice low with affection, as she took a slow sip of coffee.

Dark eyes took on an icy sheen, her features locking into a porcelain mask. "I apologize. "

Emma was kneeling by her side in an instant, cupping her face, caressing her thigh, "Regina, it's me. You're in this world. I think it's wonderful."

"That I eat like that, with such vulgarity."

"You ate because you needed to eat, simple as that." She grinned, dropping a kiss on her pale cheek, "And I like to think that you like my cooking."

"I do." A ghost of a smile spread across her face and she turned to look at the woman beside her, "Even after all this time, I forget. The punishments were too hash..."

"I understand, that's why I'm here to help you feel safe, to remind you that you're not that girl and that you're free to be yourself."

The mask cracked and crumbled away so that soft lips met Emma's and she was smiling when she pulled away. "Thank you Emma. Do you think we can take me for a walk, this body won't stay the way you like it by itself."

"I'll love it always."

"You can't promise that."

"I can. I care for a lot more than just your body..." A quick glance and a smirk, "Although your body is well.. .wow." She shook herself, "Let go for a walk."

Under the grey sky, filled with pregnant colours, that threatened to open and release a frenzy. They felt safe to clasp mittened hands together as their wandered the neighbourhood. Old brick houses and colourful porches lined the streets, front yards were a mosaic of patches of snow, brown grass and slick wet leaves.

There was a park across from an elementary school, also a low brick building. It was mostly devoid of trees, a playground and a batting cage filled one half and the other was a wide open space of nearly pristine snow.

Cheeks red with excitement and eyes sparkling, Emma bounded across the snow, taking the time to look back and admire the marks her feet made in the snow. "C´mon!"

"I'm hardly dressed." The older woman lifted her hands and glanced at her slacks.

Quick as lightening, the blonde scooped up some of the packy snow and tossed it towards her lover. It splashed against her coat, slipping down to fall about her boots.

With a low growl, Regina was marching into the snow to fire a snowball back, wiping the triumphant grin off the other woman's face.

The heavy clouds burst, sending down a thick snow that added to the ammunition of their impromptu war.

They squealed and laughed with every well placed shot, calling a truce at moments to help brush snow from each other's rosy cheeks or from the back of their necks.

They'd meet for a quick kiss, snowballs hidden behind their backs, and then move apart to let the snow fly over high pitched giggles and low chuckles.

When an unfortunate amount of slush slid down Emma's back, she took to tackling the other woman into the soft snow and they rolled over and over. Cold lips met in a heated kiss and a warm embrace.

"Henry would love this," Emma murmured, kissing cheeks wet with melted snowflakes.

They lay side by side in the pearly blue snow, under the darkening sky, not caring that the snow soaked into their already wet clothes. "Yes, he would."

The blonde's eyes fluttered shut, closing the curtains over her longing.

"Don't say it Emma, don't say it. Don't say it unless it will change anything." She took the other woman's soggy mitten into her own damp one.

"I won't, I'm sorry." She sighed, her voice raspy with pain.

"Emma," Regina repeated her name, filling the single word with all reassurance and love she could muster. The two syllables fell rich and heavy from her lips, soothing them both despite the longing. "You don't need to apologize, I feel the same way. I just hope you know what a beautiful and unselfish choice you made and it will always be your choice as to whether it is permanent."

In this new world, Regina had vowed to follow the rules set out by it and thus they had become her security blanket. They grounded her and tethered her to the new reality, for fear that she lose her way when the previous reality still filled her thoughts by day and her dreams by night. This was her one deviation, skirting around the rules of a closed adoption, willing to bend and break them should Emma say but one word in her, and Henry's, favour.

"I'll keep you posted," Emma replied slowly.

"Perfect." The older woman moved to straddle her hips, lips, tongue and teeth meeting in a promise that brought the levity back to its previous state.

Heated kisses weren't enough to warm them when the snow turned to rain and they were left to hurry down the slippery sidewalk to Emma's apartment under a torrential downpour. They stood laughing and shivering just inside the door, dripping all over the floor.

Comedy ensued as they attempted to remove their wet clothes, but wet shirts resisted being tugged over their heads and tight pants clung to their skin. They tumbled to the ground in a tangled heap, reaching with shaking fingers to help tug the soaked material from their bodies and reveal skin that was a vibrant pink from the cold.

The two women stumbled into a hurried shower, letting the needles of water warm the numbness from their skin. They didn't linger, opting for dry and warm after the afternoon they'd just had.

Cozy sweats and yoga pants, thick sweaters and fuzzy socks, a soft embrace and a tender kiss, so began their evening.

It was a study of domesticity, where they came together to throw their clothes in the wash and cleaned the puddle from the entrance. The simple dance extended into dinner preparations, pasta with a flavourful tomato sauce that was paired with a glass of wine. The smooth red was full bodied and carried hints of raspberry, it's sipped between sweet kisses and low murmurs.

Their clothes were moved to the dryer and they stood side by side watching, blue jeans and black pants, a stark white blouse and a soft grey shirt, two pairs of underwear, tumble together. They were hypnotized with thoughts of the future. The simplicity was intimate on another level, past the level of physical attraction, past a intense caring for the other's well being, to the level that entwined their lives from their bodies to their souls.

The kitchen is tidied and their clothes put away, Emma in her dresser and Regina's to her suitcase, though she briefly imagines sharing a dresser with her lover.

Muscles aching and eyes dropping from their excursion, they crawl into bed and let soft hands and lips do the talking. They speak for the dreams they can't voice, for the future they so crave.

* * *

"Good morning my love," Regina words whispered like a spring breeze across her heart.

It sang and it danced, her whole body vibrating into awareness. She opened her eyes slowly to take in creamy skin, framed by dark waves, a sight she would gladly wake up to every single day for the rest of her life.

If only it were possible.

Emma stuck out her lower lip, every bit her son. "I don't want today. I don't want you to go." She pulled blankets over her head, not from the sun though, it grey today, like her mood.

Above her Regina's hands teased their way from her neck to her sides in an attempt to tickle her whining away. Unlike her son, it didn't work.

"It's not fair, I want the weekend to last forever."

The brunette joined her beneath the sheets, her face just as downcast as the other woman's. "I don't want it to end either."

"You don't?"

"No dear." She tugged at Emma's arm and pulled it about her so that she could lay against her chest, the warmth and the near beat of her heart calming the panicked thoughts that raced through her mind and had her limbs growing numb.

"Can you just stay?"

"I'll have to ask and change my flight and..."

"But you would?" The blonde jerked with excitement. "For me?"

"For you, for me, for us." She let go of the excuse of their son, she could take this extra day for them.

Emma rolled then, so that Regina lay on her back and she hovered above her, the blankets hiding them from the real world. she peppered kisses over her face, along the line of her collar bone, dipping lower to the vee of her silk nightgown.

"Wait, I can't breathe."

"Mmmm."

Regina pushed both Emma and the heavy feather duvet from her body, letting the cool, fresh air fill her lungs.

"Oh," She giggled sheepishly, "That's what you meant."

"You may continue," The older woman nodded, lips curling up in a seductive smirk.

She didn't have to be asked twice. "I still don't want today," Emma murmured, between kisses, "I just want to spend time with you."

"I'd like that very much." Their lips met with familiarity, the act far from tedious, instead the awareness only hinted to the future. "I should call and sort out my plans."

"Sure."

Regina reached for her phone on the bedside table. It was an ancient model from the beginning of the decade, but the pixilated screen was still scratch free and the silver body shone. Emma curled into her side, resting her head on her shoulder to be rewarded with an excellent view of creamy skin, and the curve of full breasts.

"Hello Archie...Yes, I'm well thank you, and you?"

Emma smiled when she nodded into the phone, even though the person on the other end couldn't see it.

"I'm glad to hear it," Regina continued, "I was wondering if it would be too much trouble to look after Henry another day...I'm glad to hear it...Yes, only until tomorrow evening." She relaxed, nodding again, "Thank you Archie, I'll call you again later with my flight details."

The voice on the other end of the phone changed, Emma could tell the muffled sounds were higher pitched, less clear, that the words came faster. Her skin pricked with awareness.

"I'll be home tomorrow evening...Yes, I promise I'll come in and give you a kiss goodnight...Bye dear."

"Was that him," Emma hissed, green eyes wide with hope and fear.

"Yes, that was our son." She paused with the weight of her words, realizing the potential of her actions. "Oh dear, I should have let you speak to him or hear him or..."

"It's all right," The younger woman swallowed past the lump in her throat, "It's enough to know that he's real you know."

He is.

* * *

They spent most of the day watching movies, namely from the pile of DVD's beside Emma's TV. They were mostly the newest superhero movies, and Emma patiently educated her and gave her careful suggestions of ones to show Henry.

"You are going to be the coolest Mom ever!"

"Thanks to you," Regina shut her eyes and hid against Emma to shield herself from the computer- animated gore. Human hearts and a dark curses she could handle, but this was too much.

When their minds turned to mush and were filled instead with cotton from too many hours of gazing at a flickering screen, they chose a more educated activity. They read trashy romance novels to each other, giggling as they attempted to act it out and adding their own sexualized fruit metaphors to the mix until they lay on the living room floor, clutching their bellies from laughter.

As they watched another movie, the two women make a picnic on the floor with what food they had left because they hadn't gone grocery shopping.

"She's so hot," Emma flopped back against the pillows.

The brunette cleared her throat, "Ahem, you were saying."

"I mean you're hot and you're the only woman for me but look at those legs," She groaned with exasperation.

Regina leaned back as well, her shoulders bumping with Emma's good naturedly. "They are rather alluring , but it's her voice that makes me weak at the knees. " She bit her lip, eyes fixed on the screen.

It was nice to have someone to discuss such things with, shallow attraction and simple fantasies. The last friend she'd had had been Snow White, all those years ago, when they would giggle together over the knights in her father's guard. In this world, she had no one to call a friend with whom she could discuss her silver screen crushes. Throughout everything, Emma had become her one true friend in this world, someone she could talk about just about everything.

"She winked." Emma groaned, "I might just die."

"I could help with that," Dark eyes grew even darker, swirling with desire for the woman before her rather than the exotic and leggy brunette that graced the screen.

Past met present, where their friendship met love, the two mixing for the future.

* * *

"I do have work tomorrow, so I need to get to bed early."

It was barely eight.

So Regina found herself tucked between cool sheets the earliest since Henry had first come to her. Running a kingdom and a quest for vengeance was no trouble at all, but a three week old baby exhausted her to the point where she was asleep only minutes after he closed his eyes. She pulled Emma into her embrace and closed her eyes.

The blonde wiggled away, "Hey I said we had to go to bed, I'm not sleeping yet! I just wanted to have time to do this..."

Her cold fingers met hot flesh.

Regina gasped.

"Unless you want to sleep," Emma asked, her hand moving in a slow circle.

"No." She bit off, seconds before their mouths crashed together.

Later, when their bodies cooled and they played with each other's damp hair, soothing them to sleep. Emma whispered so softly that they both might have missed it but for the breathy sigh that she tacked on the end, "I think I love you."

Silence.

"Regina?" The younger woman asked nervously.

"I  _know_  I love you." She returned the sentiment with a feverish kiss.

"Wow."

Drunk on sleep and love, Emma slurred, "Regina Mills, My name is Emma Swan and I love you. I'm a swan, swans mate for life you know."

"I believe I've heard that," She chuckled in acknowledgement.

"Good, don't forget that," Emma clumsily patted her cheek and sank into dreamland.

* * *

As far as Monday mornings went this one was pretty great in Emma's books. When the alarm when off, she woke with a warm naked body in her arms and her groan of frustration was immediately silenced with a searing kiss. As she scurried around showering and finding something appropriate to wear, a beautiful brunette was a calming presence and her soft gaze following her every move made getting dressed a sensual experience. Emma's usually hurried breakfast over the sink was a hurried breakfast sitting on Regina's lap, just because she could.

The only downside of this particular Monday morning was leaving her lover while she went to spend the day chasing down felons on the internet. Five and a half lingering kisses later, she made it out the door to run the handful of blocks to the bail bonds office.

She returned home for lunch and the two women made sandwiches, only to promptly forgo their allure for twenty minutes together on the couch making out like the teenagers they never got to be.

Emma was running again, sandwich in hand, back to work.

Domesticity fell apart when Emma returned from work, when she saw Regina's suitcase already packed, her toiletries missing from their already familiar place in the bathroom, her phone and hand lotion no longer occupying her bedside table.

"Mmm Emma my love, how was your day." Regina sank happily onto her lap and looped her arms around her neck after she finished changing from her work clothes .

"It was torture being away from you," She slanted her lips over the other woman's, tasting deeply, like she was taking a long drink of water in the middle of the desert. "It's always pretty cool though, I like being useful after being so useless for so long. This job, this city, is the first place where I felt worthwhile in my whole life you know."

"I...I'm happy for you." She moved so that her thighs were on either side of her hips and they fell back on the bed, drowning in a hurried meeting of lips.

How she wished they could move from  _how was your day_ to  _what should we have for dinner_ , but instead she asked, mumbling, her fingers playing with the sipper of Regina's pants, "When do we have to go to the airport."

"Now," The brunette wriggled with unreleased pleasure.

"Then we better go now or we'll miss your flight," But her hands slipped beneath her shirt.

The older woman rolled off Emma onto her back, hugging herself and breathing heavily. "Ok."

"Ok," she echoed.

They shrugged into coats, ensured Regina had everything and stopped for a final kissing the privacy of their own home, "I've never felt like this about anyone", Emma mumbled, "Physically or emotionally."

"I haven't either."

"I better see you again."

"You will," She replied confidently.

"Cool. Good." Emma nodded, and took her hand to lead her to the car.

They held hands all the way to the airport, alternating between silence and simple chatter about their weeks to come.

All too soon they found themselves outside of security, it was time.

"Safe flight ok? I won't be there to take care of you when you land and that majorly sucks."

That brought a small smile to her lips, "It does rather  _suck."_

"Say hi to Henry from me? And give him a hug?"

"I will," The older woman promised, tucking a blonde curl behind her ear.

"I love you." She said with trembling lips.

"I love you too."

They met for a quick kiss, conscious of the people milling about them, and then Regina was scooping up her suitcase and moving slowly towards the line of people waiting in security.

"I will see you so soon."

"Don't forget." Emma called after her.

"Never." She chuckled sadly to herself, of course she wouldn't be the one to forget. She got to keep her memories, as penance for her selfishness.

Regina turned a final time after she made it through security, put her boots back on and gathered all her belongings. She hadn't thought the complications of having Emma at the airport with her when she left, and had to perform the spell.

She could see her on the other side of security, tears trickling down her cheeks as she watched for Regina through the sea of travelers.

She had to do the spell now, she had to leave her confused in the middle of an airport.

Don't do this to yourself Regina, don't fight it, she told herself. You know what you'll decide in the end because you're not strong enough to be good, evil will always win. So as she picked up her coat from the plastic bin on the end of the conveyor belt, she performed the spell with a twitch of her fingers. She watched the blonde turn smoothly and walk towards the exit without a care in the world and Regina boxed up her heart, to put on a shelf until the next year.


	9. No Care at Nine

Countless times throughout the year she'd be watching a movie and glance around in search of Emma to gush about the actress or actor, or sometimes she'd set an extra plate at the dinner table. Worst of all was reaching out in the middle of the night, only for her fingers to brush over cool empty sheets, and to whisper I love you into the night.

Meaningless.

But instead of guilt, she forced herself to focus on what they had, what they would have.

As the winter waned, she began to prepare for her trip, for their trip. Things were so much different now, and she only longed to be normal. It was her fault they weren't of course, and this was her naive, cowardly solution.

Flight preparations weren't as fun by yourself, she'd find herself turning to ask Emma what she thought, should they leave late at night or first thing in the morning? She'd have to hope it would be perfect.

She'd decided that all of her dresses were far too boring and severe for the holiday she had planned.

So, she took an afternoon off and bought herself a whole new wardrobe, trying it on again when she came home and carefully packing them in her case. After the long winter her skin was terrifyingly pale, and she wondered, would the colours be ok? Was she showing the right amount of skin? What would Emma think?

She blushed, just imagining it.

Her little secret kept her warm through the fading winter and her little dreams kept her mind occupied when the town slowed to a halt in early spring.

At last, at long last, she was leaving.

She was going home.

She knocked on the door, shivering in a simple sundress and sandals. The sun was shining in Boston, and some of the tree's were just beginning to show their new leaves, but it's far from tropical.

"Look if this is some scam about winning a cruise or some-"

She was cut off as Regina stepped forward, tenderly reaching up to lace her fingers around her neck. "Emma," She breathed, before covering her lips with her own.

The younger woman shuddered as the warm memories flooded back, nearly seamlessly this time. She grabbed Regina's hips to pull her close and slip her tongue past bright red lips to taste what she'd been missing. Emma walked them backwards, her hands slipping beneath the dress as they headed for the bedroom.

Regina stopped her before they hit the bed, "Emma, stop, we can't."

Her eyes were unfocused, her kisses continuing to leave a trail along her jaw and down her throat. "What do you mean we can't?"

The brunette shifted from foot to foot, her cheeks flushed with arousal. "We have a plane to catch, " She announced proudly.

"What?" Emma groaned, "I love you Regina, but you really have this insane way of popping up unexpectedly. You expect me to drop everything and go on a plane with you?"

"Yes," Regina kissed her eagerly before wiggling out of her embrace.

Emma shrugged, "Ok." She tossed her hair over her shoulder and swayed her hips provocatively, "You'll have to wait for some of this then."

"We'll have all the time in the world, just hurry up."

"Where are we going?"

"Someplace warm." The words catch in her throat as she remembered a similar phrase all those years ago.  _Someplace horrible_.

"Awesome," Emma brightened, shucking her tight blue jeans and pulling on an equally tight pair of white ones. "I'll just text my boss and let him know."

"Really?" She hadn't developed this part of the plan.

"Sure, he owes me." Then she spun, her hand pressed to her chest, "Oh my god! How's Henry?" She pulled out a suitcase from her closet and started packing absentmindedly.

Regina sat on the bed, legs curled beneath her, "Oh he's wonderful, his imagination just blows me away."

"Do you have a picture?" Emma asked, dropping two tiny pieces of material that could only be a swimsuit into the case.

Regina was momentarily stuck on that detail, memorizing the colours and imagining her lover wearing it. "Oh...Yes, I do." She pulled a photo from her purse, one where he sat by a tree reading, fall leaves coming down around him. "I have more, but this...well this is him these days, reading is his favourite pastime. I have to force him outside and when I do, chances are he has a book hidden somewhere and he'll sit down anywhere to read it."

"The fresh air is good," Emma agreed.

"He doesn't really have any friends," Regina murmured, "And it worries me."

"Is it his fault?"

Her anger flared as it did much more easily these days, but she concentrated on the defined muscles of Emma's arms as she folded shirts into the suitcase, and responded calmly. "It's not his fault."

"I didn't mean... " Emma looked up then, "I mean are the other kids mean or is he happy on his own so he doesn't make friends."

"He's happy, it's not like he's being bullied, I just worry it won't be enough to read by himself."

"When he's ready to reach out have friends he will."

"You think so?"

"I hope so," Emma murmured, crawling across the bed to place a quick reassuring kiss on her lips.

Regina smiled under her mouth, "Thank you." She was proud of raising Henry alone, but it still felt wonderfully normal to have another person, another parent's input.

Emma hopped in and out of the bathroom collecting toiletries. "Ok, cool, I'm ready."

"Do you have your passport ?" Then she froze, shutting her eyes against her mistake, "I didn't even thing...I don't know if you even..."

Emma was at her side in an instant, taking her shaking hands in her own, "Hey, it's cool, chill. I have one, with this new job I've had a few runs up to Canada."

"Runs?"

The blonde nodded proudly, "I'm a fully fledged bounty hunter now, I get to do the chasing on feet, not just searching the internet behind a desk."

"Wow, Emma. Congratulations." Her thumb tapped against her palm in a miniature high five.

"Thanks, it's pretty cool and the pay is good."

Regina glanced around her room, that was a fair bit classier than what Emma had had before. There was still a bare bulb nightlight by the bathroom door, and the smooth worn grey sheets covered their bed. A chair in the corner was piled high with Emma's clothes and her boots lined the floor of her closet. But the walls were professionally painted, the fixtures new and the curtains at the window looked thick and expensive. It was certainly good pay, she couldn't help to ask, "But is it safe?"

"Mostly," She shrugged absent mindedly and got up from the bed.

"Emma!" The brunette chased after her.

"I'm careful ok." With a quick peck on her lips, she pulled her suitcase to the front door and grabbed her purse.

She trailed along behind her, catching her in the hall and pulling her into her arms. "You better be careful, or else."

"Or else what, Regina."

"I'll think about it," She winked and patted her jean-clad ass, before holding the door open and ushering them out.

Emma wandered by, a hand on her heart and a wicked gleam in her eyes. "Then I'll look forward to it."

* * *

Emma was wiggling in her seat before the plane even took off. On the first fight they traveled from Boston to Miami and a domestic flight was nothing she hasn't done before. She'd never been out of the country, other than into Canada, but that hardly counted. Miami to Nassau was her first international flight. She was excited to say the least, her leg was jiggling up and down and she played noisily with her seatbelt clip.

It was Regina's first international flight as well, but she took her pleasure in watching Emma flip impatiently through the magazine in her chair pocket and glance from one window to the other.

The younger woman checked her chair was upright three times and then once more for good luck. "Is yours ok?" She leaned over her seat to check the button, her blonde curls tickling Regina's bare legs.

"Yes dear, thank you."

"I'm so excited Regina, thank  _you_." She reached for her hand, squeezing it tightly.

"You're welcome," The brunette murmured with a smile and a wiggle to loosen the grip on her hand.

They lean across the armrest for a kiss, tasting of bubble gum and vanilla chapstick.

They're startled back to their own seats when the plane begins to move, slowly backing away from the gate. Emma squeaked, her nose pressed to the cold glass of the window, "This is it, it's happening!"

"Breathe dear, I need you alive. I have plans for you," She dropped her voice an octave, reaching to run her fingernail along the seam of Emma's jeans.

She shivered, her gaze turning from the runaway that was whizzing by, "You do?"

"I do. "

As the plane lifted off the ground, Emma turned her full attention to her lover. "Is joining the mile- high club on that list?"

"The what?"

The younger woman snorted with laughter, "You've really never heard that one before?"

"No dear, I haven't."

Emma leaned over to whisper in her ear.

A fierce blush spread over her chest and face and she gasped, choking on her gum, "Do people really do that?"

Emma shrugged.

"Have you ever?" She hissed, chancing a look back at the offending airplane bathroom in question.

"No, but if you want too..." She licked her lips suggestively, spreading her thighs with seductive purpose.

"No thank you," Regina replied with comical haste.

"Good," Emma grinned, kicking off her shoes and crossing her legs comfortably.

The plane took a wide turn and their hands came to clasp between them. Then it leveled off, settling at a pleasant speed, soaring above the voluminous clouds.

They were off.

"Has Henry ever been on a plane?"

"No, he hasn't," She admitted, immediately feeling guilty. It had never come up as something he wanted to do. In the summers he was more than happy to go to the camp in town and spend days gallivanting at the beach.

"Did you never go to Disney world?"

"No," She answered simply.

"Why not Regina?"

Regina cringed at the thought of crowds of people spending inordinate amounts of money on sugary food and celebrating stories that only held such pain in actuality. "He hasn't shown any interest in fairytales. I think about taking him to Europe in a few years because he enjoys history, knights, wars, etcetera... Europe is so rich in culture and history, I think it would be a wonderful experience."

"Cool, that would be awesome," She nodded eagerly, "Would you backpack it?"

"What?" Her eyes widened in horror, for the second time. "He can do that on his own time, I'd like to show him it properly. I want to sleep in a comfortable bed, and order champagne in Paris." Then she smiled softly, her voice taking on a teasing lilt, "I'm old my dear Emma, you forget that."

"You're so full of yourself, I don't think you've aged a bit since we first met. " Her gaze rakes from shapely bare calves, a tiny waist and full breasts, settling on lips that were painted a pale pink. "You're smokin' hot and so beautiful."

"Thank you."

Their lips met in a kiss, deepening quickly with teeth and tongue. Emma whispered, "Does this mean you're ready for the club."

The brunette swatted at her arm and rolled her eyes, choosing instead to lift the armrest and curl into Emma's side. She rested her head on her shoulder, and together they watched the sun set over the expanse of clouds, turning them a brilliant pink and fiery orange.

* * *

It was late when they pulled up at the resort, though it was far from quiet. Music filled their ears from every side, laughter and conversation hummed and thrummed over an addictive energy that surrounded them. The air was still warm, though thankfully the humidity had abated for the night, and the flowers that blossomed smelled fresh and sweet, It was quite intoxicating, bright colours and warm smells and sounds.

They were driven down the landscaped roads of the resort to a cluster of bungalows, and as luck would have it, number nine would be their own.

Emma dumped the bags just inside, in her excitement she couldn't wait to run around and explore what would be their home for the next week. She landed on the bed and flopped around like a fish on dry ground. "It's like a cloud, oh Regina come join me," She moaned.

So she did, sitting primly on the side of the bed until Emma tugged her down, and they met for a kiss in the middle of the kind sized bed.

Emma's attention wasn't held for long, her eyes cracked open and she caught sight of a gleaming marble bathroom. She pulled Regina along and together they admired the Jacuzzi and a standalone shower with an impressive shower head.

The blonde bumped their hips playfully together, "Wow, do I have plans for that or what."

"I hope I'm included in this."

"Yes, always Regina. "

They headed out the sliding glass door to the back of the bungalow to find themselves on a secluded patio, equipped with wicker lounge chairs with soft cushions and an inspired table. Potted plants and palm trees gave them complete privacy.

Arm in arm, they looked out at the dark water, soft warm lights reflecting off it near the shore, and the moon lighting a silver path though the bay. Sky blue pools could be seen to both their right and left, brightly lit despite the late hour, the water rippling form a few lingering bodies. The sand was full of green plants and colourful flowers, perfectly landscaped but no less beautiful.

"Oh," Regina inhaled audibly, "Evening jasmine."

"Wow," Emma took a deep breath and then coughed, "It 's strong."

She turned, pressing a quick kiss at the corner of her mouth as she looped her arms around her neck, " I love it."

"I love you."

The kiss that followed is exotic as the atmosphere that engulfed them, all tongue and heat and emotion.

"I love you too," Regina managed, breathless and a little dizzy.

When she shivered in the night air, they returned inside for Regina to insist that they unpack and hang items that could be wrinkled.

Emma complained and slouched around doing as Regina suggested, knowing that they wouldn't get anywhere until she did.

But she did, and she was taken to the cloud that was their bed to give it a test run.

It passed.

* * *

They showered quickly and separately the next morning because Emma was eager to experience the all-you-can-eat buffet the resort boasted. On the screened in patio, their food was safe from insects, but the ocean breeze still teased them with refreshing salty air. The two woman took their time over breakfast, trying everything from delicacies to familiar dishes, enjoying Columbian coffee and nearly making themselves sick on the fresh fruit.

They didn't take much time to digest their food before they were pulling on their bathing suits and heading to the beach. After finding a spot that wasn't overwhelmed with others, they lay down their giant beach towels in the sand.

Their colorful sundresses and wrap skirts hit the ground and they got their first good look at each other under the glowing sun, already high in the sky.

Emma sported a modest bikini with colourful geometric designs, fresh and utterly vibrant, utterly her. She piled her hair on top of her head in a messy bun, a few stray strands whispering at the nape of her neck in the tropical breeze, and pulled on baseball cap, worn at the brim. Her mouth went dry when she saw Regina's bathing suit, if you could call it that.

It was a masterpiece in sexy simplicity.

Two scraps of black material, tied by delicate strings at her hip and around her neck.

Regina's lips curved up with pleasure, her posture changing. With one hand on her hip, leg cocked, she asked, "Do you like it? I bought it for you?"

"Like it? I love it. I want to go back to our room right now and show you how much I do." She brushed her thighs together, her eyes falling shut for just a moment. Then she groaned, "But I'm still too full from breakfast, so I'll have to settle for getting some sun."

The older woman released her pose and took a seat on her wide beach towel, "How very alluring dear."

"Shut up, you're just as full as I am."

"I didn't say it, you did," She teased.

"You're such a lady," Emma flopped down on her own towel, managing to scatter sand across its surface, and fished sunscreen from her bag. She bowed her head in jest, "My lady, the fairest in the land, might I help you protect your beautiful skin." She snickered to herself, "I'm good eh?"

"You may Emma," She returned the bow, graceful as ever. It wasn't something you forgot. She turned then, allowing the cold lotion to be dabbed onto her back. She shivered, then warm hands methodically smoothed the lotion over her skin.

Emma slipped a finger just beneath the edge of the material, smoothing the lotion along the sleek line . Warmth pooled between Regina's legs and she quickly grabbed the bottle from the blonde. She slathered lotion on her front and over her face, setting a wide floppy hat on her head as the final touch.

Emma sat still for exactly two minutes before she was up and running. "Race ya to the water! "She yelled.

She hit the water with a child-like yelp, shaking her head like a puppy from the spray of water droplets. The young woman stopped when the water was to her knees and she turned to wave eagerly.

Regina set her hat down and jogged gracefully to the water's edge. She stopped in the wet sand, enjoying the resistance, the give, against her feet. She let the water come to her, lapping at her ankles and tugging the sand from beneath her toes. The water was warm but still refreshing, far from the frigid waters of the Atlantic. Even during August in Maine, the water barely warmed to above freezing.

She stood with the sun beating down on her and a pleasant flow of water around her ankles, until a spray drenched her from head to toe. Her eyes flew open to see the blonde dancing away into deeper water, a grin on her face.

How much that cheeky look reminded her of their son and how she wished Emma could see it. The brunette chased after her, ready to spray her back, but when she was waist deep, Emma wrapped herself around her and they fell beneath the frothy waves. They returned to the surface spluttering and laughing, both checking that their modesty stayed intact. If Regina had known, she would have brought her typical one piece that was safe for water sport.

Emma shrugged, wiping water from her eyes and shaking her hair back, "Sorry, but you were taking too long. "

"Patience is a virtue."

"Well thankfully I have none." She sank back in the water, floating in place, letting the ocean carry her in its warm arms.

Regina joined in the water, flicking water with her fingers towards the other woman. "Luckily I'm not one for vengeance. On the outside, she smiled through her mask. Within, she thought bitterly, that vengeance was what brought her here to this world and she was never truly free of her curse.

They floated together, letting the waves bring them back to shore before wading out again to repeat the process. On one such trips, the older woman dove beneath the water and grabbed Emma's ankle, tugging her beneath the surface.

She came up spluttering, clutching at her arm. "I thought you weren't one for vengeance."

"That was simply a perfect opportunity," She simpered.

Emma went to splash her but Regina caught her around the waist and pulled her into her arms, kissing her soundly.

They lay in the sun after that, letting it's warm rays prickle across their skin and dry their hair. Regina carefully flipped from stomach to back like clockwork, while Emma settled her cap over her face and wiggled into the sand. They shared stories from their vacations, few and far between. From worst trips, motels with a tub of ice cream and pay per view, to their best memories, camping in the backyard.

From under the brim of her large hat, Regina was able to study the woman beside her as she talked. The young blonde gestured with her hands and played with a small pile of sand. In the brilliant sunshine Regina could see thin white lines that danced over her sides in a graceful pattern. She could see the stretch marks, and other beauty marks, something she normally couldn't see at home under the warm glow of incandescent bulbs or with a cover of darkness.

She reached out and traced them, mesmerized by the physical memory of Henry's birth. Her heart swelled in her chest as she imagining Emma carrying their son, wondering what it would have been like if she'd been there to rub lotion on her swollen belly, to feel the him kick against her hand, to talk to him.

Emma startled at the tickling touch but then she smiled softly, her hands coming to rest on her flat belly. "I was lucky, they're barely visible," She smiled contentedly, "But I wouldn't have cared too much if they were more visible, because it's my memory you know. I have nothing to remember him by except for these marks. I see them and I remember that I'm a mom and I loved him. I love him."

"You have more to remember him by..." She's slightly hurt, instinct has her wondering if the past years have meant nothing too her but a roll in the hay.

"I do, thanks to you, I do." She reached across the space between them, and took her hand in her own. "I have memories and stories now, but this is physical. No one can take it away, and I can't make myself feel guilty or hate myself for not being able to be a part of his life just yet, because these marks are from a time when all we had was each other.

"I understand." The brunette nodded. " I hope you know that you're beautiful and you really are a wonderful mother."

"So are you."

When the afternoon sun became uncomfortably hot, they packed up and headed back up the beach to their bungalow.

As soon as the sliding door clicked shut, Emma tugged Regina into her arms, their bodies crashing together, their breath knocked out of them. She grinned crookedly at her clumsiness and tossed her beach bag onto the nearby loveseat. "Have I mentioned you look amazing?" Her touch was gentle now, following the line of her spine. "It was all I could do not to take you right there in the sand."

"I for one am very glad you didn't. ´Regina replied, kissing her cheek.

The blonde danced back, striking a pose, rolling her hips and sticking out her chest, "You don't want me?"

With a quickness neither saw coming Regina stepped forward and released the colourful ties of Emma's top and it fell to the floor. Her voice was liquid caramel, smooth and sweet, "Rest assured I do, I am just not one for sand in all the wrong places."

"Gross," Emma managed to mumble even as hands came to cup her breasts, a thumb dancing over pert nipples.

Her knees trembled as she arched into Regina's hands, warm and just a little rough against sensitive skin. They stumbled to their huge bed and fell onto the cool sheets. The two women rolled, the sheets soft and fresh against their burning skin.

When Regina dipped, her mouth sought kisses along her collarbone and pressed to the underside of her breasts. Then, she sucked and rolled the sensitive buds with her tongue, teasing the other with her hands.

Emma giggled in delight when she managed to undo the tie from Regina's suit and release the delicate silver clasp.

The material fell between them and they separated to hastily, and with some difficulty, to wriggle out of their bikini bottoms.

They came together, smelling of sunscreen and ocean. Their lips melted together, their bodies becoming one, with the heat outside stoking the fire inside.

Emma gripped the sheets as Regina began the journey down her body to the building need between her legs. She gripped her hair, tugging her closer as Regina's mouth teased her over the edge.

Emma lay panting and looking utterly beautiful, face flushed and body gleaming with sweat. Her chest heaved, the curve of her breasts rising with every breath. The brunette smiled appreciatively, pressing a kiss at the hollow of her hips and tasting salt.

Regina moved up again, nipping at Emma's neck. She settled Emma's leg between her thighs, letting her know just how much she enjoyed pleasing her lover. The older woman was slick against her, rolling her hips as the shiver of pleasure built.

Emma rose to meet her, matching her rhythm, her hands grasping her hips. Their lips met for a moment and then Regina was arching away, bucking against her thigh as she came apart.

Sweaty sticky bodies flopped apart with audible pop.

"Jesus. Hot." Emma managed, her head lolling to the side to enjoy the brunette's smile.

"Mmmm," Regina agreed contentedly.

The younger woman sat up and stretched, "I'm hungry."

Regina flung an arm over her eyes, "Of course you are."

In the tropical darkness they ordered simple sandwiches for an evening snack and ate them with only the sheet over their waists and low jazz for company.

As the heat of their day slowly left the air, their bodies cooled enough to comfortably sink into a dreamless sleep.

* * *

Emma was on fire.

The blanket felt like a rough slab of concrete on her skin, suffocating her and leeching all the moisture from her body. Her mouth is dry and she desperately needs a glass of water. She pushed the blankets off only to yelp in pain.

She is absolutely sure her skin just cracked form head to toe and her insides are spilling out over the bed.

Emma glanced over at the thankfully still sleeping brunette, her internal monologue is far too unsexy to share.

Breathing deeply, she looked down at herself to see that her skin is in fact intact, but a blistering red. She poked the skin on her thigh, watching the white spot appear and disappear. She did it a couple more times, on her stomach, her chest, her arms.

She groaned.

She'd been so intent on getting her hands on Regina's hot body that she'd entirely forgotten to slather lotion on herself.

Water, she still needed water.

With every move she made, her skin pulled and she tensed with the pain.

She groaned and whimpered on the way to the bathroom, where she dropped the first glass of water with a clatter. The second she drank so fast, she dripped half of it down her front. It stung but at the same time felt soothing.

Regina stuck her head around the door, a loose t-shirt covering her torso, "Oh my god, Emma."

Turning her head to greet her hurt like you wouldn't believe. She pouted and whined dramatically, "I'm dying."

The older woman tested the burn as Emma had, to answering whimpers and cries. "Let's get some lotion on you."

She shook her head, "No way, it's gonna hurt."

"It will hurt more if you do nothing."

"I don't feel good."

"Well, you don't feel well."

"Reginaaaa."

"Go on and lie down, I'll bring you some Advil and lotion."

"Thank you," She pouted more, her lower lip drooping.

As promised, Regina returned with a couple Advil and another full glass of water. She sat on the edge of the bed and began to slather the blonde with soothing lotion.

"Shit Regina that hurts."

"Oh my god, never stop."

"I hate you, I'm dying."

"I love you Regina, I love you."

The older woman had to bite her lip to keep from laughter, her condition in fact looked quite painful, but she couldn't help but find the dramatic outburst amusing.

"Thanks 'Gina," She mumbled.

"You're welcome dear," She replied with a quick kiss and a pat on the only patch of not burned skin.

They watched a few morning talk shows and cooking programs, Emma lying stark naked and sipping water. Then Regina tore herself away, "You can't cover yourself dear and I can't touch you." She glances over her sprawled companion, "I can't control myself, I'm going to the pool."

"No Regina, don't leave me." She tossed a pillow after her, leaving it on the floor when the brunette disappeared with a wave.

Regina returned hours later, to wake her sleeping girlfriend with ice cream and all was forgiven.

They next day she was much improved, though she hissed putting on her flip flops as even the tops of her feet were burned. She was still a little sore, but mostly she was amusingly tanned on one side white on the other. Still electing to stay out of the full sun, Emma and Regina caught a tour to the downtown core and spent the day wandering through the open -air market, sampling products and admiring jewelry and sculptures.

Regina wandered from booth to booth, keeping a tight hold on the blonde beside her, who groaned with every step. She picked up a postcard for Ruby, knowing how much she longed for adventures, and found a bracelet for Kathryn.

"Regina, I swear I'm dying."

"Take a look at some of this, it's quite beautiful."

"I have no one to get stuff for," Emma muttered.

Regina squeezed her hand affectionately in apology, softly she asked, "Perhaps you could help me find something for Henry?"

The younger woman perked up and raced ahead, sunburn forgotten. Regina scurried behind, her hand anchored in Emma's pocket so she wouldn't get separated.

* * *

Emma lay on her stomach on the bed, her legs lifted in the air that she swung with excitement. "It's been years since we've gone dancing, what do you say?"

"Dancing?"

"You know, with like music?"

Regina paused long enough to make her squirm, then rolled her eyes and rolled her hips, "I'd love to go." She sashayed over to the bed, crawling on hands and knees to kiss the blonde.

Emma moaned, flopping on her back, "I'm going to die but I'll die happy."

Emma made them eat a substantial dinner like they're preparing for an Olympic event and then they're getting ready.

Regina stepped out of the bathroom in a bright red dress, impossibly short, incredibly tight and a plunging vee in both the front and back.

It took a few moments before Emma could breathe again, she's pounding her chest to get her heart started. "Jesus Regina."

"You don't think it's too much?" She glanced cautiously from the blonde to check herself in the mirror, smoothing imaginary wrinkles.

"It's definitely too much, but I love it." She kissed her cheek and patted her hip affectionately, hoping she wasn't actually drooling.

"Thank you. " For all the confidence her attire exudes, Regina is coy, ducking her head at the compliment and coming to sit primly on the bed while Emma finished getting ready herself.

She put on a white skirt, short and flirty, and a purple top that tied beneath her breasts.

Regna couldn't resist, shyness forgotten, and came to trail her hand across her bared muscled abdomen, "Nobody touches this but me."

"No ma'am." The blonde teased, looping her arms around her neck.

"Good." She leaned forward, capturing her upturned lips with her own, claiming what was hers. "Right, shall we."

They walked along the brightly lit street, neon signs and twinkling fairy lights showing off the various bars to choose from. The parties continued in the streets, people dancing and singing to the music that spilled from open doors. Everybody was everybody's friend at this hour of the night.

They pick a bar with tasteful lighting and a steady stream of people going in and out. They order their first drink at the brightly lit bar that showcased a wall of liquor bottles. Functional design.

Emma and Regina stood together at a high table, sipping on fruity concoctions with extravagant garnishes, swaying to the throbbing music and taking in the atmosphere.

The red lights are seductive, the air heavy with passionate energy.

The music and the lights are soon too much, and they're pulled out onto the dance floor by its magnetic power of suggestion. They're dancing with eyes only for each other, hips flush as they move to the seductive beat. There a staccato touch of their hands, caressing a shoulder, a back, a hip.

After a few songs Regina threw her head back, her arms in the air and hair tumbling down her back, as she let out a cheer with the others.

Her eyes are sparkling with excitement, "I'm thirsty, let's get another drink." She ordered a couple shots of tequila and studies Emma when she's presented with lemons and a salt shaker. She's never had tequila before, it was only something people drank on television.

She copied the blond, chasing the shot with the lemon.

Emma laughed, clutching the bar for support when she saw her face.

"That was horrible." She stuttered, "Everyone makes it look like so much fun."

"Yes, but it's horribly fun. I thought you went to university?"

"I never did anything like this." That was the truth at least. She shook her head, signaling for the bartender.

This is the closest Emma has gotten to what one might call university days. Her experience was limited to recent years, and the odd nights out with raucous fellow bounty hunters.

Regina takes a bright blue shot from the counter and leaned back, settling it between her breasts, "Emma?" She shouts over the din, her voice hoarse and husky.

"Did you see this on TV too?" The blonde stammered, her tongue feeling huge in her mouth, like it was coated with sawdust.

A slow seductive smile crept across her face and she licked her lips. "Go on dear."

_Shit._ She rested her hands on either side of the brunette and leaned forward to wrap her lips around the shot glass and tip it back effortlessly.

Not one to be outdone, Emma signals for a shot of her own, hopping up on the bar to balance the glass on her rock hard stomach.

The brunette is shy now, as a small crowd is gathered around them. With a hesitant glance at Emma, she tipped the shot back, catching the glass with her hand on the way down.

She's breathless with excitement when Emma pulled her up to stand on the bar. The blonde used her thumb to brush a way a drop of liquid on her chin before their lips crash together, tasting of salt and flavoured alcohol. Men and women cheered and jeered around them but they didn't care. They were in their own little world, floating on alcohol and excitement and living on the beat of the music.

Emma pulled her back out on the dance floor and Regina shouted in her ear, "You're wild!"

"What?" Her movements are erratic and free, her curls flying with every beat.

"You're wiiiiiild!" The older woman threw her head back, cheeks flushed, hair damp, smile wide.

They stumbled home in the early hours of the morning, the streets still full of people singing drunkenly to each other or to themselves, and the mellow rhythm remains.

They dropped their clothes on the floor and came together in the middle of the large bed, where they fell asleep in mere minutes, their smiles never leaving their faces even in sleep.

* * *

A faint headache greeted her when she woke up but a quick glance at the clock tells her its likely from lack of sleep rather than the alcohol consumed the night before. She hadn't over imbibed, not even close. It had been the experience of a life time, you could get drunk from just the lights, the music and the tug of voices.

It was so unlike her, all of it, from the dancing to the shots and the dress. But she hadn't felt out of place and she didn't feel like she'd betrayed herself. She was with Emma, they'd had the time of their lives, completely free from worldly stresses and expectations. She had never been more like herself than she had the night before.

She slipped from the bed, tripping over their clothes that littered the floor. She tidied them on the way to the bathroom, for she was very much herself this morning. At this rate they'd miss the buffet so she tugged the phone cord outside and ordered room service to be delivered in an hour, giving Emma enough time to rouse herself.

The blonde has makeup smudged under one eye and her hair is in wild disarray over the pillow, but beneath crisp white sheets, she looks serene. Hr eyelashes flutter against her cheeks, and her lips move inaudibly through dream world. Unable to resist the peaceful allure, she rejoined her in bed, the sheets cool against her skin, and pulled Emma into her arms.

She must have dozed off because Emma is kissing her awake with sloppy open mouthed kisses and sleepily mumbling something about a robe and something about the door.

_Room service._

The brunette scrambled away and answered the door.

They spread out their feast on the bed, fresh pastries and exotic fruits and the piece de resistance, a pot of strong black coffee. They feed each other teasingly, the two women giggling when Emma invariably misses Regina's mouth and the plump red strawberry leaves a stain on the sheets.

Regina kissed away the guilty pout, running her fingers though tangled blond curls and brushing a thumb across her cheek. "Henry made me breakfast this past year for mother's day."

Emma wiggled closer, "I like being compared to Henry and I like remembering that he's got two Mom's."

The brunette nodded and continued, "He begged and begged and said he was old enough to cook by himself. You see, in previous years, he has made toast or bowls of cereal that barely make their way upstairs."

Emma agreed thoughtfully, "I can barely manage a bowl of cereal, those things have a mind of their own. "

"This year he wanted it to be extra special. He managed to make me pancakes, like we do most weekends. He put a pile of fresh fruit on it and a literal mountain of whipped cream over it all. it was delicious."

"I guess he gets to do it again this year?" Emma asked, pride slipping into her words.

"Yes, there were no injuries to him or my kitchen, only an unfortunate egg met his death on the tiles."

"Ouch," She teased but her cheer quickly evaporated, her gaze a million miles away.

"I'll eat some for you," Regina nudged her, noticing the way she went silent.

"Thanks, that would be great." She folded the edge of the sheet, fumbling slightly. Her voice was small when she asked, "Does he ever ask about me?"

Regina took her shaking hand in her own, "I never made it out to be a big deal that he was adopted, it was a simple fact of life. So when he asks, and he does ask," She squeezed with reassurance, "It's more of an offhand wondering. Would my other mom like this? Do you think she had chicken pox when she was little? He's curious my love, he cares."

"He must hate me."

"No, that's not how he was raised."

"I know that, there's so much love between you..."

"Emma, I love you too."

"I love you..." She trailed off, clearly thoughts still weighed her down. "Do you tell him about me?"

"In truth, no I haven't. I wouldn't know how." She looked pained, her voice strangled.

"It's cool," Emma agreed. "I mean it sucks, but it's kinda the way it has to be."

They met for a kiss, heady and tasting of strong black coffee, a hope that the future will be different.

They were sluggish that day, making it to the beach only to lie down again and doze on their under the umbrellas. Then after an early dinner, there were more than happy to cuddle together and watch a movie.

* * *

They were lying on lounge chairs, looking out at the ocean and up at the stars. Even with the light pollution the night sky was magnificent, not a cloud to be seen. In fact they could count on the fingers of one hand the number of clouds they'd seen on this trip.

"Hey Regina, I've been thinking."

The brunette had been expecting this as Emma's thoughts had trailed often over the course of the day. She'd barely finished a chapter in her book that afternoon at the beach. "Go ahead dear."

"I was thinking what it would be like if we were together all the time."

The older woman's eye fluttered shut against her longing.

"Would it be so horrible?" Emma squeaked, misunderstanding her gesture.

"No, Emma," Her voice was husky with emotion, "It would be wonderful."

"Really?" She couldn't help but sound hopeful.

"Really." She took her hand, "I'd love to be able to share my life with you. Henry would love having you around, you'd be the cool mother. I'd get to kiss you any time I liked and spend the nights in your arms. We'd have family days, and just us dates. I'd love to come home to you every night and to raise our son together."

"You really put a lot of thought into this." She inched closer, resting her head on her shoulder, anchoring herself.

"I think about it all the time."

"Don't tell me that if you don't meant it." Her grip tightened on Regina's shirt, the silky material bunching in her hand and baring her stomach.

"But Emma I do."

"No you don't. I'm still just a kid Regina." Her voice shook, "How could you want to be with me, how could you trust Henry with me?"

The older woman smoothed back her hair from her forehead, running her hand down her back in comforting caresses. "You told me one of the fist times we met that you weren't just a kid, that you'd seen more than people should have at your age, at any age."

"I was trying to be cool Regina. I'm a kid. How can you even want me?"

"You're young but you've grown so much since I've met you, in age and maturity. Take a good look at yourself Emma, you're not a kid anymore." She quivered with emotion, "You're experienced in some ways and inexperienced in others. You're amazing and you balance me out, you make me a better version of myself."

"You're always perfect though, look at you." Emma pushed blindly against the hope.

"I'm far from perfect, it's one of the reasons I sought you out in the first place." She paused, bringing them in full circle, "Emma what do you think about us together?"

"I think it would be amazing, but no. No. Not yet." She sighed, "I mean I still don't feel ready. I just can't see us as a family, as much as I dream of it, I can't see it yet. It means that I can't help but wonder if we are destined to spend weekends together and nothing else. Somehow we have to factor into the equation. Is it that we can't have Henry and us? We have to pick between the two?"

"Why can't we have Henry and us?"

'I don't know." Emma mumbled, pressing a kiss over her heart, "It seems so unattainable."

"I don't accept that."

"You take such good care of him and I don't want to screw it up. And yeah, what about us? I can handle a weekend at a time, but a real relationship? I don't know. I just get scared of being alone, of making you hate me, of being unworthy, and that I'll run away."

"Emma, you'd never be alone. Love and family means you're there for each other no matter what. And if you really needed to run, Henry and I would run with you. I really think we can make this happen with a little work, it feels like it's time to try."

"I have a lot of work to do you mean."

She shook her head, "You've grown so much over the years. I'm still shy and scared in many ways, and it's also time that I really do some work as well." She had to learn how to trust. She had to trust herself before she could trust other people, then could she truly trust enough to leave the magic and trust Emma and herself to make the right choices. She had to love herself before she could truly love and be loved. "Emma, I really would like a life with you and Henry."

"Me too." Emma snuggled closer, hooking a leg over the brunette's. "We'll work on ourselves this year, really work, and maybe..."

"Maybe ," Regina nodded, "We'll just keep trying, someday we'll get our happy ending."

"I love you."

"And I love you." The brunette pressed kiss to her hair.

"But sometimes love isn't enough."

"Shush, we'll always have Paris, " Regina murmured, levity returning to her words.

"Or Nassau," The blonde snickered, tucked into the curve of her neck, breathing in the scent of her perfume and hotel shampoo.

"Yes, we'll always have Nassau."

When they make love that night, they transcend realms, their connection on another level as they make a promise to their happy ending.

* * *

Soon after they take off from Miami, Emma fell asleep on her shoulder. She knows they could talk or hold hands or steal kisses during the two hour trip and make the last of their moments together.

But in truth, there's nothing that isn't perfect about their time together. Watching her sleep, her mouth moving and lifting at the corners, her eyelashes fluttering against tanned cheeks, that was perfect in its own way. It was more than she could ever ask for.

The blonde woke up as the plane door was opening, rubbing her eyes and stretching, "Mmmm oh I was dreaming we were still on the beach." She caught sight of grey skies and thick mist, "Oh man," she sighed dejectedly, "I guess we're not in Kansas anymore."

She yawned again and collected their luggage, guiding Regina from the cramped plane. "I'm sorry I was such lousy company."

"You're perfect dear," She replied honestly and they met for a clumsy kiss among crowds of people.

At the gate, reality struck. "My plane boards soon, I should probably go."

Emma nodded slowly, reaching for her hand "This was so much fun Regina, maybe we can go again someday."

"Perhaps."

"Maybe we can have a real life someday."

"Perhaps."

The blonde smiled wildly, swinging their clasped hands between them. "Maaaaybe we can have a real life and do this again and go to Disneyland and Europe with Henry."

"I know we will." Tears pooled in her eyes, hoping her fervent faith would be enough for the both of them.

"I guess this is goodbye."

"Until next year." Regina murmured, taking her into her arms.

"We'll be ready." Emma stated confidently.

"We will." She agreed, her words strong and sure in her first steps towards trust.

They kissed slowly, savoring a final taste as they said their only real goodbye that morning.

"See you," Emma waved cheerily and headed through customs.

"Bye now," She whispered, hoping naively that if Emma couldn't hear her goodbye, it wasn't true.

Then, Regina worked her magic, leaving the blonde with the memories of a wonderful and solitary Caribbean vacation.

Her short up and down flight between Boston and Bangor barely leaves her time to dwell on the trip, to relish the memories. Then she is home, in grey wet spring in Maine. The colour leaches from her soul, and she walks around in a grey world for the next year.

 


	10. Trouble at Ten

Throughout the year Regina found herself longing to dip into her magic reserve and visit the beautiful blonde who had captured her heart. Instead she hardened the ice wall around it, knowing there was nothing that could distract her from the pain of being alone or that could dampen the ache between her thighs.

What's more, was Henry's newfound outlook on life, no longer meant their home was a safe heaven. She stormed through the town by day, and tiptoed through the mansion by night.

In the darkness, she cried.

When the time came, she drove the four hours to Boston, using the time to collect herself.

But when the door opened and she caught sight of the puzzled blonde, she crumpled. The wall fell away and what was left of her strength disappeared. Regina fell into her arms and sank into a kiss like a woman who was drowning.

Tears streamed down her cheeks, leaving their lips salty.

"Regina, Regina what's wrong."

She shook her head, brushing back the tears, "Just love me, please Emma." Regina stood on tiptoes, throwing her arms around her neck, her hands tangling in blonde curls as if to anchor herself in reality.

"I love you," Emma whispered.

She led her to the bedroom, laying her gently on the pillow and brushing dark waves back from her pale face. Their lips met with a soft sigh, and she intuitively knew what the brunette so desperately needed.

Emma unbuttoned her blouse slowly, dropping tender kisses across smooth skin. The blonde's caresses were slow, her breath warm against her skin, melting away the icy storm that plagued her heart.

She removed her pants swiftly, carelessly dropping them to the floor, her hands coming to rest on her thighs and move in a smooth unhurried caress to her hips.

Emma dipped beneath the silk material of her panties, her fingers moving in languid circles. She stroked with just enough pressure to relax her body on waves of sweet pleasure, but not take her to the edge.

Her eyes opened, dark chocolate orbs locking on Emma's, silently pleading. The blonde raised her hips and began moving in smaller, tighter circles, until the knot of pleasure exploded beneath her touch.

Regina's breathing was ragged, with tears sliding down her cheeks in silver tracks before the peaceful look of utter bliss could disappear. Emma pulled her up, settling her against her chest, and pulling the blankets over them for a safe cocoon. They didn't speak for the longest time, -Emma kissing her forehead and caressing her shaking sides. She'd wipe away the tears with the corner of the soft sheets, never breaking her steady hold on the other woman.

"It's all falling apart." She spoke in a voice so quiet that Emma nearly missed it.

"What?"

"Everything is falling apart," She repeated, voice cracking.

"How do you mean?" Emma asked patiently.

"Henry hates me." There was no emotion in the words, no connection, simply facts.

The blonde gasped, "Regina, you know that's not true."

"He tells me every day," She sobbed.

Tears sprung to her eyes at the depth of the pain entrenched in the trembling woman in her arms, "Regina no... What brought this on?"

"A book." Again, through the tears, there was no emotion, simply stating the facts as she would at a town council meeting.

"A book?"

"His teacher gave him a book of Fairytales and he is convinced that I'm the Evil Queen."

"The Evil Queen..." She kept up the careful reassuring caressing, twirling a lock of dark brown curls around her finger. "Regina talk to me, please."

"I can't, you won't understand."

"Try me."

"No, you'll think I'm crazy."

"Regina after ten years, I could never accuse you of such a thing."

"I don't want to live this lie anymore," She brushed her arm across her cheek, an angry red from the crying.

"What lie babe?"

"I can't," She pressed her lips together and snuggled into her chest.

Emma ran a hand over her tangled hair, "When you can, I'm here ok?"

"Alright," Regina replied sharply, abruptly putting an end to her tears and to the conversation.

Emma sighed, "Do you think you can try sleeping?"

"Will you stay with me?" She asked, frenzied.

"Of course." The younger woman moved slowly, carefully laying Regina beside her and kissing her forehead. In the pale light from the skyline beyond the window, Emma slipped into comfortable sweats and a baggy t-shirt. She rummaged in Regina's small suitcase for her own nightclothes, helping her into them when her fingers trembled too much to manage the buttons. Before climbing into bed Emma flicked on the nightlight, it's pale yellow glow spilling out into the room.

The brunette broke into a soft smile, and poured her thanks into a giving kiss.

* * *

Something was different about her this year, she was harder. The soft curves of her body shimmered with sharp edged energy.

Emma was startled by the drastic change in the woman. She'd been quiet over breakfast, though she'd eaten with the same gusto for Emma's cooking. She'd planted sweet kisses on her neck, wrapping her arms around her waist when she stepped up behind her doing the dishes. She was still the loving and happy woman that Emma had always known, but those qualities struggled to shine through the fear and evident pain that overwhelmed her.

Wiping her wet hands on her jean's, the blonde turned in her lover's arms, and asked tentatively, "Any requests for today babe?"

"Well..." The older woman hummed, rolling her hips.

"Besides that," Emma rolled her eyes, though she was glad that some things, especially some things, hadn't changed. "We can do anything you want, but we have to be back early."

"Why?" Her eyes narrowed with curiosity.

"No reason."

"You're planning something, I can tell." She wrapped her knuckles against Emma's chin, and something like happiness twinkled in her eyes for the first time since she'd arrived.

Emma giggled and dodged away from her piercing stare. "Don't ask me anymore because I'm excited and you'll ruin the surprise."

Regina followed her with a lightness in her step, "So there is a surprise..."

"Stop, stop!" She shook her head, grinning widely and clapping her hands over her mouth, "Wphg ghdo freou wahh grou vrou?"

"Pardon me?"

The blonde carefully moved her hands away from her mouth, "What do you want to do?"

"Perhaps we could go for a walk?" The laughter in her voice died out to be replaced by the serious look that crossed her features, threatening to wash away the brightness.

"Sounds perfect," Emma agreed softly, so as not to startle the fragile woman before her.

During their walk, Regina clung to Emma's hand like her life depended on it. She was quiet, commenting only occasionally on the rich Boston architecture and the warmth evident in the city's culture.

They stumbled across a French bakery near the waterfront, and stood just outside its doors devouring warm buttery croissants and smooth cappuccinos. The pastry melted in their mouths and left golden flakes down the front of their coats. They giggled as they brushed themselves clean and licked their fingers, shiny with butter. They drank their coffee so fast it burned the roof of their mouths and seared their esophagus's, but the delicious foam and the rich full bodied espresso burst in flavourful fireworks over their taste buds.

Her joy and lively persona bubbled up and out, and to Emma, it was a rare sunbeam on an otherwise cloudy day.

It couldn't last, it would seem.

The two began to stroll along the boardwalk, their hands swinging between them, when a bird let out a lively croak as it dove in front of them. The brunette startled, nearly jumping out of her skin, and it was several moments before she could continue their journey. The brittle woman's control was hanging on by a thread, the tiniest disruption sending her flinging off into space.

She led them to the point, where she stood staring out over the stormy water. Her features showed the same turmoil in her thoughts as the ocean did in their white capped waves. Emma held tightly to her hand, a small gesture she could only hope would provide a semblance of comfort to the other woman. When the wind chilled them, she slipped their clasped hands into her coat pocket to keep warm.

In that quiet, with nothing but the lapping of the harbour water and the occasional squawk of a seagull, Emma had a rare moment of introspection. This had been the year that she'd thought she would finally get her life together. She'd bought this new place on her hefty new salary, all furnished and fancy, thinking that she'd have friends or a special someone to entertain. But still she felt that she was still just Emma Swan, alone in a bigger, fancier apartment. Now, she realized that being just Emma Swan, was who she had been striving for all this time. She didn't need the high paying job or the fancy apartment, she needed to be strong-willed and strong-minded woman she'd always had been, she needed to love and support the woman beside her, she needed to be there for her family.

She was ready.

In that moment she knew her destiny was also her reality.

She no longer believed that to break the cycle she had to live a life like countless other people in their twenties. They were sheep, following aimlessly through life. She had found flock, her little flock of three to cherish and nurture. She'd deluded herself for far too long that she'd be better off alone, that no one would ever love her, that a family wouldn't make her happy,

It would.

It did.

If there was ever a moment to come to accept she was ready to be a mother and a partner, it was now. She hated that Regina's pain had come as such a deciding nudge in the right direction, but she couldn't help but be eternally grateful.

She squeezed the other woman's hand in a moment of reassurance and Regina turned with a soft smile playing across her bright red lips.

"Thank you Emma." Then she returned her gaze to the grey ocean, her features relaxing at last.

"Of course." She wasn't quite sure what she meant by it, but she was grateful the ocean had such an effect.

On them both apparently.

When the skies threatened to open up, they caught a cab home.

Both women were visibly calmer when they stepped into the shower together, save for the wicked grins and wandering hands.

Later, they lay on Emma's bed, their hair frizzing as it dried naturally, listening to the afternoon spring shower that whispered across the window pane. Emma rolled lazily, propping herself on one elbow, "Hey babe, I hope you brought something nice to wear."

The brunette raised an eyebrow, her eyes widening with incredulous mirth.

"I mean of course you did," Emma chuckled, "I mean... uh... I'd like to take you to dinner...If you're up for it."

"I'd love to dear." She smiled in agreement, sealing the deal with a tender kiss.

"Awesome." The blonde hummed, then rolled to over to rummage in her bedside drawer and pulled out a silver box. "I was gonna give this to you at the restaurant, but I thought now was a better..." She chuckled to herself, fiddling with the curled ribbon that decorated the box, "I'm never one to play by the rules ..."

Regina gasped, hesitating for a moment before she reached for the gift, "Emma what's all this."

She smirked, "It's our tenth anniversary today, I wanted to do something special for you."

"Thank you," She breathed, her long fingers tugging gently at the ribbon. Regina lifted the lid off the box followed by the soft cotton. Inside was a gold necklace, a simple circle on a delicate chain.

Emma eagerly lifted it from the cotton and raised herself to clasp it around Regina's neck, the pendent swinging slightly, just above the curve of her breasts. "There," she pronounced proudly. "I have one just like it, it's called an eternity circle." She pointed to the matching silver pendant around her own neck, "I've loved you for nearly many years now, and I will love you for eternity."

"Oh Emma." Tears glistened in her brown eyes, threatening to spill down her cheeks. She swiped furiously at them with her index finger before tugging Emma down to meet her lips. They sighed into the kiss, lips parting, tongues sliding against one another to taste the sweet emotion that fueled them.

"We should probably get dressed," Emma whispered, patting her naked ass affectionately.

"Do we have to," Regina grinned wickedly, glancing down at the glittering gold between her breasts, "I rather like what I'm wearing now."

Emma pouted, giving her best impression of a puppy, "You don't want to ruin the surprise do you?"

"I suppose not."

"Good!" Emma dropped a quick kiss on her nose and rolled out of bed, her naked form disappearing into the walk-in closet.

It didn't take long for the women to get ready, not after they gave up on the disaster that was their hair, that had dried during their afternoon roll in the hay. Emma threw her hair up in a stylishly messy bun that comfortably complemented her chique black jeans and a soft sweater while Regina went for a teasing updo to go with her midnight blue dress.

The younger woman drove them carefully across town in Regina's Mercedes, to a quaint family owned restaurant. It's decor was simple, but warm and welcoming, their menu was modest, but the food was gourmet, the service consisted of the chef's wife and their two teenage sons, but it was exquisite.

Emma happily ordered a five star burger, her only consolation was that she used a knife and fork to eat it. Regina's maple glazed salmon and steamed vegetables had her humming with pleasure, and requesting to compliment the chef personally.

She did.

There were moments where Emma saw the fear cloud her eyes, when she saw her nibble her lip with worry, when her hand shook as she lifted the wineglass to her mouth. Whether she was truly enjoying herself, or holding herself together for Emma's sake, she'd never know. With what came next, Emma was only infinitely appreciative that they'd had a couple of hours in relative peace, sharing laughs and memories of their time together over a bottle of wine and a delicious meal.

* * *

Regina awoke in the middle of the night, the familiar nightmare clawing at her insides. The warm body beside hers did little to thaw the icy terror inside her. She couldn't keep running from her past, it was catching up to her. It's sharp fingernails dug deeper into her skin with every passing moment and it was time to be free or turn herself over to its mercy entirely. Her body quivered with sobs, shaking the bed and the woman beside her with their violence.

Emma shot straight up in bed, eyes wide and darting, her hands immediately closing on Regina's bare arms and pulling her into a tight embrace. The palms of her hands were rough, the friction warming her and the strength calming the violent shivers. " Shhh, babe you're alright."

"No I'm not. No I'm not. No I'm not," Regina continued to mutter, her gaze unfocused her hands unsteady. Her body jumped, spasming from the tortured images that plagued her.

"It was just a bad dream," With practiced movements Emma tugged the blankets over them, cocooning them in their warmth.

"No, no, no," She repeated, her voice hollow and haunted.

Emma cupped her face in both hands, forcing their gaze to meet, "Regina, look at me."

"No, no, no." She shook her head, trying to free herself from Emma's grasp.

"Sweetheart, please talk to me, tell me what's wrong." Emma focused her energy on staying calm, hoping to push away the rising terror that she felt at seeing Regina this way.

The brunette's gaze darkened, her dark eyes focused then and she moved quickly, crashing their lips together. Their teeth clacked together painfully, her tongue thrust selfishly, her nails sank into Emma's shoulders as she pushed them down on the bed. Her hips bucked in a frantic attempt to find passion.

The blonde tensed, using her strength to overcome Regina's crazed movements, flipping them and pinning her lover. "Regina stop, we're not solving this with sex. We have to talk about what's wrong."

She stopped resisting immediately, her head lolling to the side in defeat. "I don't know how."

"That's ok too." Emma murmured, "We'll figure it out."

She relinquished her hold on her and brushed damp curls out of her eyes, "Can you tell me about your dream? Was it..."

Regina nodded, "It was." Her lips continued to move, but no sound came out.

Emma hummed, letting Regina's roiling thoughts push to the surface.

At last Regina managed to croak, "But lately it's been worse, I can't escape from the past anymore. It's caught up with me."

"Your mother?"

Regina shook her head, "It's so much more than that."

"You can tell me." Emma's voice remained calm, her eyes pleading.

"You won't believe me. "

"Try me."

"I'm evil." Her words came out sharp, her demeanor defeated.

"That's not true, try again."

"You don't know me."

"Bullshit, I've known you for ten years."

"You don't know the real me."

"Then who is that."

"Someone evil, someone fueled by vengeance."

"That's not you."

"That was me."

"Exactly."

Regina sighed, Emma's logic seeped through the cuts in her skin, soothing the pain. There was so much sense in those words, and yet, she still felt the need to reconcile the person she was with the person she is today. "I can't live this lie anymore."

"Then Regina, try to explain, please." Emma begged with dark circles beneath her eyes, desperation in her voice.

"I can't explain."

"Try damnit," She couldn't help herself, her voice rose with irritation.

The outburst had a spark of hope bursting in her mind and she rose on her knees, kneeling before Emma to plead. "I can't explain, but maybe I can show you. Come home with me Emma."

"Ok."

"That's it. this is the pivotal moment in our relationship and you say ok?" Her hands dropped to her lap, her features clouding over in bewilderment.

"Yes, because it's time. Regina, I'm ready."

"You really are?"

"Yes." Emma's words are sure and her gaze steady.

"I'm ready too, or I was before Henry..." Before Henry reminded her of the past she'd been running from for twenty-eight years. She couldn't keep running.

"We'll tackle Henry together. "

"Together?"

"If that's what you want."

She took a deep breath, "I do."

Emma shrieked and kissed her, her open mouthed joy making for a sloppy meeting of lips and tongue. "I'm sorry, I know I'm supposed to be serious and mature right now, and that's the point that we're ready, but I'm just so excited I want to pack now and oh Regina I love you."

Regina held her at arm's length, "What I have to show you, what I'll try and explain..."

"Whatever you say Regina, I know you and I trust you, it will not change how I feel about you. Whoever you were then is not who you are now, we're all allowed a second chance. I got mine when I gave birth to Henry."

She smiled a watery smile, "And I got mine when Henry came to me."

Emma squeezed her again, "You see, we're meant to be. You saved me, you've been here all these years waiting for me to be ready. Now I am ready Regina, I will be here for you for anything you need. If showing me your past is important to you and if making peace with your past is essential to your well being, then I'm there. I love you Regina."

"I love you too Emma." A slow smile began to creep across her features as the reality sunk in. The family she'd been dreaming of was about to become a reality. She paused halfway to her lips, "But Emma, you have to listen really listen to what I have to tell you or..."

"I will, I promise." She held up her right hand, baby finger crooked, "Pinky swear."

Regina copied the move, locking their fingers together as she met her for a sweet kiss. "Pinky swear."

She settled in against Emma's chest, her ravaged body still shivering with the ghosts of sobs. Emma's hand moved in steady, reassuring circles in her back, and the shaking slowly petered out to be replaced with excitement. She felt safe in Emma's arms, the warm circle bringing her home like nothing else ever had. Her past no longer loomed before her, instead it was an obstacle for them to overcome together. She imagined Emma standing tall and strong, protecting her from the demons of her past and helping her face the trials of the future they would inevitably face together.

Emma began to chat aimlessly of their plans, keeping her voice steady and soothing, "I'm going to cook you and Henry breakfast every weekend, I've learned a bunch of new recipes over the past year, and I promise I'll help you clean the house even if I complain."

"Housekeeper," Regina mumbled, her eyes closing for just a moment.

Emma chuckled, jostling them both with the low rumble. "Alright then, score one for me. I promise Henry and I will let you watch your movies sometimes."

"He'll be so happy, " Regina sighed, tightening her grip on Emma's hip.

Emma continued to talk, relaying scenarios that Regina herself had spent hours daydreaming of over the past ten years. Her words begin to flow into one another and meld into the thoughts that occupied her own mind. They were fluid and melodic and infinitely calming so that she slipped seamlessly into dream world.

The blonde noticed the second Regina had drifted off, her entire body relaxing for the first time in hours, and her breathing evening out to a perfect rhythm. Emma continued spouting her fantasies, much to her own enjoyment, until her own eye lids grew heavy and her head lolled back against the headboard.

Slowly and carefully, with as much grace as her sluggish body could manage, she moved the pillow that propped them up. Still Regina started awake, her eyes opening but not seeing. As Emma lay them down, her eyes fluttered shut and she curled into her chest, her fingers grasping the front of Emma's t-shirt. Confident that Regina was going to be alright, at least for the time being, Emma finally closed her eyes and fell asleep on a wave of frenzied wonderful images of the future.

* * *

Regina woke up with a start the next morning, memories of the nightmare coming flooding back. Her muscles ached and her eyes were heavy and scratchy, physical remnants of the emotional pain.

Then a slow smile ghosted across her features as she remembered.

Emma was ready.

Emma awoke with an exuberant burst of energy in a moment of uncanny connection. Her eyes weren't even yet open and she ended up facing towards the opposite side of the bed that Regina was on. "Reginaaaaa, it's trueeeee! Tell me it's true!"

"Yes dear, it's true." The brunette responded with a chuckle. Then she tapped on her shoulder, "I'm over here dear."

Emma groaned and turned towards her, slowly attempting to open her eyes. "Hey 'Gina," She mumbled, managing to rise halfway off the bed to meet Regina's lips, before collapsing again, her eyes staunchly refusing to open any more.

After a few minutes, she greeted the smiling brunette with emerald eyes sparkling with happiness, "Hey..."

"Hello again." She reached over, lacing their fingers together.

Emma grinned widely, squeezing her hand, "I'm really happy Regina, this feels so right, finally."

"To me as well."

Emma sobered, "I want you to know we can talk about what's bothering you at any time, night or day, tomorrow or next week, sunshine or cloudy days."

"Soon Emma, I want to do it right..." She trailed off, mumbling to herself, "Though I'm not sure there's a right way to..."

"Shhh," The blonde interrupted, her thumb moving in slow circles where Regina's pulse throbbed at her wrist.

Regina relaxed almost immediately, sighing into the gentle touch.

It wasn't long before the sunny grin returned to Emma's expression and she disentangled herself to bounce on her knees. "I'm excited Regina! Have I mentioned I'm excited! I get to finally meet Henry! I get to sleep beside you every night!"

The older woman clutched at the sheet to keep from bouncing off the bed, but she didn't have the heart to scold her lover. Emma's blonde hair flew about her head, catching in the sun and glistening the colour of pale gold. Her cheeks flushed and her voice rose as she cheered and leapt about.

Eventually she flopped down beside Regina, breathless and holding her side, "Nowww, I'm hungry."

"Then let's go eat my love," She nudged her teasingly, now that she'd relinquished her hold on the sheet.

The other woman threw a hand over her eyes with as much dramatic flair as her son, "I'm too tireeeed."

"Emma." Regina intoned, much in the same way as she would scold her son.

"Whaaaat," She cracked her eyes open and giggled nervously, "Oops, you mean business, don't you?"

In a heartbeat, she'd rolled out of bed, taking the blankets with her, and was coming around to lead Regina from the room. Emma swung her around and they tangoed into the kitchen, releasing Regina with a clumsy spin.

Emma stood on tiptoes and took down a box of coco puffs from the cupboard and presented the brunette with her own box of frosted flakes. She shook them maraca style, "This calls for celebration!"

The blonde's excitement was catching and Regina giggled girlishly, "Those are my favourite."

"Oh I remember," The younger woman teased, holding them over head as Regina reached for them, "You have to pay the toll."

Regina kissed her quickly, standing on tiptoes, and snagging the box as Emma lowed her arms on instinct to embrace the other woman. "Ha!" She danced away, victorious.

She hummed as she grabbed two bowls and set them on the counter, adding a pirouette for good measure on her way to get chocolate milk for Emma and skim for herself.

They dug in to their celebratory meal, smiling goofily at each other across the breakfast bar.

Regina finished first and pulled her day planner from her purse, tapping the pen on the page as she began to think aloud. "So I'll find out about moving companies when I get back, we have to find the best one. You know I've heard these horror stories about the men stealing peoples things. How horrible," She clucked disapprovingly. "Oh Emma dear, how long is the lease on your apartment? Can you get out of it? I'm assuming that you need to give at least two weeks notice at your job. And don't worry dear, I can give you a job in Storybrooke..."

"You can?" Emma looked up from slurping the dregs of her milk, a chocolate milk mustache gracing her upper lip, exactly like her son, "Doing what?"

"Deputy in the Sherriff station." She replied precisely while she made a few quick jot notes in her planner, "Thirty five hours a week with a salary of..."

Emma wiped hand across her mouth and hand placed on her arm to interrupt her incessant flow or thoughts. She chuckled, "Woah babe, I'll take the job, thank you, but I think we're getting ahead of ourselves."

Regina's her face fell, closing off instantly. She shrunk in on herself, her shoulders hunching. She disappeared before Emma, a ghost of the strong woman she knew. Her statement came in a whisper, "You're changing your mind."

"No!" Emma pleaded, "Don't think like that!" She took their bowls to the sink and led them to the couch, wrenching the day planner from her grasp and pulling Regina into her arms. She hoped that by some sort of simple comfort she could reassure the scarred and broken woman she loved so completely. "I was simply thinking about Henry."

"You are?" She brightened again, looking up into Emma's eyes, "You're really ready?"

Emma nodded, "I just think you should talk to him first so that he's not blindsided by all this."

"Oh of course, I should try and explain..." The frenzied look returned to her eyes, this one of panic instead of excitement. She rang her hands absentmindedly, her eyes clouding with fear, "I'm a horrible mother, I didn't think of my own son..."

Emma's heart broke at the sight of her confident and loving Regina reduced to such doubt and terror. "You're not Regina, you love Henry. We both just got excited, and we should be."

"So what do I tell him?" She asked, hope of a thousand suns swimming in her eyes, from all the years of dreaming for someone to share moments like these with someone she loved.

"What if you tell him the truth?"

She shook her head, her hair rising in static as it brushed against the back of the couch, "He's only ten, how can he understand?" From one moment to the next hope was replaced with worry, "And what if he hates me more?"

Emma froze, "Regina, he doesn't hate you."

"Every day...Every day he tells me," She replied tiredly, the very thought wearing on her soul.

"He doesn't mean it, he's going through some stuff." She sighed, taking Regina's hand in her own and playing absentmindedly with her pinky finger, "He's facing something every adopted child faces, he's asking why would anyone give me away. He's taking it out on you, because he doesn't feel like he belongs anywhere. I did the same to several of my foster parents when I grew older. It's a question of self identity not a personal affront."

"It hurts," Her voice was strained, her fist pressed to her chest.

"I know that, and I'm sorry. It's not an excuse for him to act that way, but it's an explanation as to why..."

The brunette nodded, "You really think we should tell him the truth?"

"I really do. I think it would be worse to lie to him."

"He's only ten," She repeated.

"Ten is older than you think."

"He's my baby boy, my little price," Regina sniffled. "Emma," She implored, "How do I tell him I fell in love with his birth mother and that I've been hiding it for ten years."

"Let's start slow, it's been ten years for us remember, but it's a surprise to him." She dropped a quick kiss on her forehead.

Her breathing quickened and she leaned further into the embrace, clutching at the front of her sweatshirt, "I don't know how Emma, I don't know how to tell him."

"Ummm, ask him how he feels about meeting his birth mother." Emma replied with as much confidence as she could muster. In truth she felt as unsure as the other woman but she stood strong, supporting their family.

"You think he will want to?" Hurt washing over her words.

Emma nodded.

"P-perhaps we can drive up next weekend to meet you?"

Emma straightened, nearly dumping Regina off her lap, "Yes! Uhh, we can talk to him together if everything works out," She added calmly, "We'll play it by ear ok?"

The older woman looked over at the day planner beside them.

"I know you like a plan babe, but we gotta think about our son," Emma chuckled.

"We'll play it by ear," Regina agreed, relaxing at last.

Together they packed Regina's' suitcase and made quiet comments about the future. Christmases and birthdays and years of firsts dangled tantalizingly in front of them.

They collected her toiletries, teasing each other over who would have the most clutter in the bathroom.

They stood at the front door, saying nothing at all.

Regina whispered into her chest, "I'm terrified."

The blonde kissed the top of her head, "I'm scared too."

"I want us to be a family so badly." Her teeth chattered with fear as she remembered what had happened the last time her dreams were ripped from her prematurely. She didn't think she or anyone else would survive if it happened a second time.

"I do too," Emma held her tighter, "I don't want to let you go. I want it to start right now even though I know that's not what I said."

The strength that Regina held within her returned to vow, "Emma. I will come back for you, Henry and I, we'll come in a week."

"I know, it just feels like a long time."

They spoke over each other, reassuring one another and interrupting with words of wisdom and promises of love, until they erupted in smiles and giggles.

"See you next week Regina," Emma stepped back, holding her hands tightly in her own.

"See you next week."

"With Henry," She reminded her with a cheeky grin, "Should I buy him a present, or his favourite foods?"

"If you like," Regina kissed her cheek with a sounding smack.

Emma pulled her back for a searing kiss, a melding of lips and dance of tongues. "Now get out of here woman," She teased, though her eyes begged her to stay.

The brunette winked and whisked out the door.

Cool night air hit her with a new blast of doubt and she froze at the top of the stairs, looking back at the apartment. The numbers 202 shone brightly on the door, white with delicate cursive words of wisdom. Emma was from this world, she stayed in this world.

Trusting Emma was easy, trusting herself was another issue in its own. In the end, old habits died hard. For as much as she knew she could trust Emma, the end loomed, the downfall was right there and so, she took the memories with a familiar stab of guilt.

She told herself that it wouldn't matter, she'd kiss her in a week and she'd remember, none the wiser. She could keep her town safe until Emma was there in actuality, then they'd be alright.

All the way home she pushed the doubt from her mind with simple fantasies, about how Henry would see how she'd changed, how Emma would fit into their lives, how Henry could have two mothers who loved him and how Regina's past could be put to rest for her happy ending.

As she crossed the town line there was a moment filled with the purest pleasure and happiness, millions of memories flooding through her mind and swirling around her heart. Just as quickly that warmth was replaced with cold, there was a tearing in her head, the worst pain she could ever imagine, worse than she'd ever felt no matter the abuse she'd lived. Her soul was torn away, her heart, her mind. She had a split second to realize that the magic was gone, that her memories from there were being ripped away. For that moment she struggled to hold on, to bind them to herself.

Then she was simply driving to her mansion form the town line like any other day.

Reset.


	11. Epilogue

The party was over, but festive feeling of warmth and weightless happiness remained. Emma and Regina had hosted nearly the whole town at the mansion that day for Henry's birthday. They'd been graced with a rare warm sunny day for spring in Maine, and so they'd spilled out into the backyard with tables laden with food and a steady vibrant hum of voices. Adults, from the Fairies to Dwarves, clustered together raving about the weather while the young Alexandra ran around them all on the muddy grass in her bare feet. The yard swelled with voices as they sang happy birthday and excitement rose as they dug into the masterpiece that was the cake Regina had prepared.

Their guests longs since gone and the mansion carefully tidied, Emma and Regina stood at the bedroom door watching their peacefully sleeping son.

Now, in the darkness, it was quiet.

It was family.

"However did he get to be thirteen," Regina murmured wistfully.

"Don't ask me," Emma chuckled.

The brunette sighed, her words tumbling over each other as they fell from her lips, "He'll be starting high school next year and he'll be going to dances and stepping out on dates and graduating and going to University outside of Storybrooke and getting married and having kids..."

Emma reached out to take her arm and lead her down the hall, "Woah woah woah, slow down mama tiger, let's make it to next week first, ok?"

"Yes of course," She fluttered, "It's only that it's all gone by so fast. I feel like just yesterday I was celebrating his first birthday."

Emma squeezed her arm with affectionate reassurance. She toed the carpeted floor with her boot and added softly, "I wish I'd been there for all the other years... but at the same time I'm also glad that I wasn't. He must have had great birthdays with you..."

"I tried my best," The brunette ducked her head shyly.

"I'm sure you did more than that, you're amazing Regina," Emma reached with a feather light touch, lifting her chin so that their eyes locked and soft smiles graced their features in recognition.

"Thank you," Regina whispered.

The blonde sighed with heartfelt yearning, glancing back down the hall to Henry's half open door.

"Emma, You're here now."

"Yeah." She nodded and her lips turned up in a wide smile, " I am. Thank you. "

Time was marked by much more than the passing of Henry's birthdays, their relationship had changed and grown so very much since the first moment in front of the mansion. When she smiled then, Regina was transported in time of the simple, shy first meeting.

_Their eyes met with instantaneous connection and she felt a deep sense of longing for the attractive woman. So strong were her feelings for this stranger that she was immediately distrustful and set on edge. The off kilter feeling remained as Emma stayed in Storybrooke, making her feel increasingly angry with herself for entertaining such intimate thoughts. How could she imagine getting close to the woman who could so quickly destroy her son, her family, her town?_

_She took her anger out on the beautiful blond. It had been Emma's fault that her legs looked like that in her tight jeans, that her arms showed off prominent muscles , that her hair smelled so good, that her eyes looked so beautiful. She was thankful that Emma's personality left something to be desired and it was easy to lash out against her own small mindedness_.

Her anger had melted away, and had been replaced with respect.

In recent months, their careful friendship had been teetering on the edge of something more, something that they had been bound to since the moment they'd first laid eyes on each other.

"Thank you," Regina emphasized. Then she took that last step over the edge, standing on her tip toes, she kissed her softly. "Thank you," She said again, her voice throbbing with emotion.

Then she stopped, her hands flying to her heart.

"You said that already..." Emma teased, her fingers pressing to her lips in awe as she trailed off.

"Emma," The older woman choked, "It's you."

"It's you," She returned. "How...What happened?"

"I don't know, the magic must have run out...That last time... I lost my memories as well," Regina gazed upon the other woman with equal shock and wonderment dancing in her eyes.

"What do you mean as well..." Confusion marked the careful words.

Regina began to shake with realization, she admitted sadly. "I erased your memories every time I visited. Near the end though the magic didn't last, our love was stronger," She continued, her voice raising with hope.

Anger clouded Emma's delicate features and she stiffened, shying away from the other woman. Her voice was low with pulsing anger, "I can't believe you did that to me... I can't believe you did that to us...to Henry..."

"I-I-I-" Regina struggled to find words.

"What the hell is wrong with you," She seethed, clenching her hands so that the knuckles turned white, "We were happy..."

"The curse-" Regina started.

"Don't blame it on the fucking curse, this was all you Regina," Emma spat.

"I felt that I didn't have a choice," She intoned, her words small and hollow.

"There is always a choice and you chose wrong." The blonde shook with rage, "You were wrong Regina. You were wrong."

She bit her lip.

Hard.

A tiny drop of blood blossomed and shone like a wet ruby on her lip. She licked it away, and swiped with the back of her hand across her mouth.

Emma spoke again, more to herself than anything, "How could I have fallen in love with a selfish, cruel,  _evil_ queen." She threw up her hands in defeat, "Twice."

"Twice..." Regina stuttered.

"Well  _dear_ , " Emma snarled, "It doesn't matter now does it."

"Emma..."

"No." She whirled, emerald eyes flashing as she thumped down the stairs and out the front door.

It slammed violently behind her, echoing in the foyer.

Regina stumbled after her, her heart clenching with fear.

She pounded on the closed door, the palms of her hands stinging with the force, feeling bruises blossom beneath her skin as her closed fists hit the hard surface.

Regina sank down on the floor, her hands tangling in her hair and she clawed at her head desperate to tear away the memories.

A silent shriek fell from her lips, tearing her throat raw.

Emma was running again

She was always running

Only now, she was running from Regina.

All those years ago she'd been searching for someone to share her son with and she'd found so much more than that.

They'd been friends.

Then lovers.

Then partners.

Emma had loved her and she'd loved Emma.

Then she'd found her again.

They'd learned to share their son.

And she'd fallen in love all over again.

It seemed the fates had their story written in stone.

But fate was a cruel mistress, for both Emmas were one and the same, they ran.

She wanted to forget again like she had the last time.

But she was unable to escape the harsh tidal wave of thoughts that tormented her.

The tears began slowly at first, then turned to great hiccupping sobs that tore though her body. Her shoulders shook as she cried herself to sleep on the cold ceramic of the front hall, her skin cooling to match the ice in her heart.

A numbness overtook her, starting with her legs and slowly creeping up her torso.

She was immobile.

Trapped.

Trapped by the pain.

Her lover found and ripped away from one breath to another.

* * *

Her jolted into consciousness by a frantic Henry shaking her shoulder, his voice tight with fear as he shook her shoulder.

"Mom. Mom!"

She opened her eyes to find his face, she woke to find his worried face inches away from her own, his eyes wide with alarm.

"Mom what happened?"

In the fresh morning light it all came flooding back, fresh waves of agony washing over her. She squeezed her eyes shut as the tears returned.

"Mom?" He patted her shoulder awkwardly, "Do you want to talk about it?"

She shook her head, her cheek bumping painfully against the marble floor.

"Do you want to stay here?"

She nodded, scrubbing a fist over her eyes. They felt like they were filled with coarse sand, scratching and blurring her vision.

There was some rustling and she felt him bump against her knee.

Regina peered out at him lying beside her and she breathed a sigh of relief.

He lay patiently for the most part, only fidgeting and tapping away at his phone when it vibrated in his pocket.

Regina began to shiver, her teeth chattering.

"You're freezing mom, c'mon upstairs," He tugged her up and supported her stiff limbs as she climbed the stairs. The wiry teenager helped her into bed and covered her with the thick feather duvet.

A glass of water appeared beside her bed, the clear liquid rippling and sparkling with a taunting exuberance.

"Can I get you anything else?"

"No thank you Henry."

Regina stared at the wall, watching as the slender shadow of a wavering branch moved higher and higher until it disappeared from sight.

Then there was nothing.

Nothing but a beige expanse, a blank canvas onto which she could project her roiling thoughts.

Henry popped in sometime later with peppermint tea, leaving it on her bedside table.

She watched as the steam rose from the surface of the pale amber liquid and cringed when she realized he hadn't used a coaster.

A single detail.

She latched onto it.

She followed the heat as it flowed through the mug and burned a perfect white circle into the darkly varnished wood.

The imperfection was a quiet sort of beauty, ugly and violent with perfect symmetry.

Henry shuffled his feat on the carpet and it rasped loudly in her ears, jolting her back to the present.

"I'm going out to hang with Hansel and Gretel for a few hours but I'll be back for dinner."

She nodded and reached out to move the mug.

A second circle marred the table.

Two women, perfect in their flaws.

That had destroyed the single most beautiful thing in their lives.

"Mom I'm not leaving until I know you're okay, can you like sit up or something." His voice cracked with concern.

She sat up slowly and held the tea in her hands, grimacing as the heat of the ceramic blistered her palms.

It was wonderful.

The pain coursed through her body, physical and sweet.

"Thanks Mom," He glanced nervously behind him, the conflict playing over his young face.

Regina forced her frozen muscles into what she hoped was a reassuring smile, "Go on Henry, I'll be alright."

He hesitated but then left, the door banging shut a few moments later

She took a scalding sip that burnt her tongue.

Regina bit down over the spot, enjoying the stinging reminder that she lived.

Slowly the warm liquid began to thaw her.

She sat holding the mug long after she finished the tea, long after the sun went down, long after she shivered once more.

A rapping at the door startled her and the mug dropped to the thick carpet, rolling beneath the bed.

She slowly pulled herself from bed and made her way down the stairs, realizing too late that she was still in her clothes from the day before and that they were wrinkled beyond repair.

The knocking grew more insistent as she paused in an attempt to pat her unruly hair into place

At last, she pulled open the door.

"You were protecting Henry."

"What? Emma?" The porch light fell on her blonde hair and illuminated her features. She looked like an angel, perhaps she was going crazy, perhaps she was dreaming.

"Oh god Regina," Emma blurted as she registered the brunette's appearance. "What happened?" She stepped forward, pulling into her arms, smoothing her hair and brushing a finger across her tear and mascara stained cheeks.

Regina stayed stiff in her arms, fearing a sudden movement would startle her vision away.

Emma stepped into the house, bringing the other woman along with her, closing the door behind them.

She cupped her face, looked deep into her eyes, "Regina listen to me. I get it, I understand why...why you did everything. I know that you were just protecting Henry that why you erased my memories."

"Yes." Regina nodded, reaching up to twirl a strand of blonde hair around her index finger. It felt real. But how could it possibly be Emma, how could she have returned, after what she'd done. "Emma?" She asked again, louder this time.

But the vision didn't waver.

"Regina you're scaring me."

Her shaking fingers played with the collar of her coat, "I thought you ran away."

"No, oh no Regina, no," Emma gulped, "I just needed some time to think."

"You always run."

The blonde shook her head, "Not anymore."

Her knees buckled and Emma caught her before she hit the floor. Her grip tightened on the jacket, hot tears slipping from the corners of her eye, "I was just so scared, I've loved you for 13 years and I thought you were leaving me. I don't know how to...exist without you."

"Never Regina, we can be together now, we just have a lot to figure out first." She pressed a kiss to her dry chapped lips.

"We can?" She whispered, light flaring in her brown eyes, bringing them back to life.

"Yes babe." She took a deep breath, "I'm sorry I left last night... I mean I just found out I knew you for ten years before we met that night three years ago. I mean I've been right here for three years. And you lied to me, it hurts."

"I was...I didn't remember..."

"I know why, I get it." Carefully she led them to the couch, tucking Regina into the curve of her body.

Regina shook her head, burring her nose in her chest, "I was also protecting Henry, at least that's what I told myself. But I was also protecting myself and that was selfish." She lifted her gaze, eyes brimming with silver tears, "I'm sorry too."

"It's ok... I mean it's not really ok...but it's ok because I know you Regina and because we because we can't change that past. We can only move forward and think about our future together... I mean if you want one."

"I...I do...More than anything."

"I love you Regina do you know that?"

"I love you too and..." Her lips cracked in the first real smile in many hours, "And I think I do.

"I'm so glad. "

"I'm still scared sometimes..."

"Don't be scared babe, I'm the savior remember I'll keep you safe."

"Do you promise," She whispered.

"I promise."

With that promise, Emma nudged her up the stairs and pulled on the shower.

As steam filled the bathroom, she pressed a final quick kiss to her long lost lover's mouth. "Have a shower, you'll feel better."

She began to unbutton her blouse, and Emma slowly turned her back.

"It's nothing you haven't seen before," Regina purred with the hint of her old self.

Emma chuckled and shook her head, "That's the problem Regina, that's the problem." She pulled a fresh towel from the cupboard and set it on the toilet seat, "I'll just wait out there..."

"Alright," The brunette agreed, reaching a hand out to Emma's shoulder in a soft caress.

Emma shivered at the touch, at her warm scent, at the tickle of her breath over the back of her neck. She ducked her head and slipped out the door, catching only the briefest glance of pale creamy skin before it disappeared out of sight.

Regina's battered body barely registered the cascade of water, though her muscles rejoiced under the pounding of the shower.

She slipped into the silk pyjamas that had appeared on the counter and after a cursory swipe of the towel over her soaking hair she padded into her room.

"Emma, you're still here." But of course she was, she'd felt her energy through the door,

"Course I am, Let's get you into bed-"

Regina slipped beneath the covers, her cheek relaxing into the soft, cool pillow.

Between Emma's calming presence and the comfort of a shower, Regina was at last able to close her eyes.

When the bed shifted some time later, Her eyes snapped open to look up in confusion, "Where are you going?"

"I need to get some sleep too and I do need time to think about it all." Emma tucked the sheets in around the older woman, and brushed a damp curl from her forehead.

"You're not running?"

"I'm not running, I'll see you soon ok?"

"Alright." She allowed the exhaustion of the past twenty four hours overcome her, soothed by a cool, calloused hand on her forehead.

She drifted off in minutes, a frown creasing her forehead when it found itself naked and alone.

* * *

On Monday she waited anxiously by the front door hoping Emma would arrive, breathless and slightly disheveled as she always was, ready to walk Henry to school and Regina to her office.

The blonde only ever made it on time on Monday's, only ever able to start the week off right, as sleep became ever more important as the week dragged on.

She never came.

It was twenty minutes past the time they usually left, when Henry nudged her out the door without a word and walked her to the door of her office.

* * *

On Tuesday, she cleared her desk and sat on alert, ready for Emma to walk in the door.

Every Tuesday Emma would bring her lunch before they council meeting, they'd bicker over how cluttered her desk was and Emma would say  _It's Storybrooke, I don't really think you have to work so hard._ One week Emma had spread her coat on the floor and insisted they had a picnic since it was easier than trying to find the surface of her desk.

She never came.

The council meeting had already been brought to order without her when she slipped into her seat.

* * *

On Wednesday, they waited for Emma to come to dinner.

Every Wednesday she'd arrive with a story from her wild day as the Storybrooke Sherriff with something delicious and decadent from Granny's for dessert. They'd laugh themselves sick over their meal before settling in to make their way through the X-Files. Henry inevitably point out that they were like Mulder and Scully, they would protest and tease each other, while he watched knowingly.

She never came.

The meat was dry and hard, the rice congealed and crusted in the bottom of the pot and the broccoli had wilted into a vile green mush. She scraped it into the garbage and told Henry he could have cereal for dinner.

* * *

On Thursday she didn't show up to Henry's soccer practice.

* * *

On Friday they had movie night without her.

* * *

Saturday dragged on without Emma coming to disrupt their day to insist they go to the park, or a movie or make a snow fort.

* * *

Sunday arrived with a heavy sense of dread in the air. Regina cooked brunch, glancing over her shoulder in hopes of the blonde swaggering into the kitchen to steal a piece of bacon out of the pan, inevitably burning her fingers.

She never came.

They ate in silence. Regina left the dishes where they were and climbed back into bed.

* * *

Henry caught his blond mother at Granny's, hunched over a steaming cup of coffee, her curls dangling dangerously close to the puddle of syrup left behind on her plate.

He didn't waste any time and jumped up on the stool beside her, "Uh Emma, Mom wants to know if you're done thinking."

She jumped slightly, her coffee sloshing over the rip of her cup and freckling the counter. "Hey yourself, kid."

He arched his eyebrows pointedly.

Emma sighed, "Did she send you?" She answered her own question with a chuckle, "Of course not, she's too proud. She thinks she's strong, and she is...but she needs me...and I need her."

"Is that your answer then?"

His low voice jolted her from her reverie, and she turned slowly to meet his pale brown eyes. "I guess it is kid, I just don't know how to tell her...It's been too long, I've screwed up now."

"It's only been a week," He rolled his eyes.

"A week feels like a long time."

"I'll tell her ok," He squeezed her hand and shook his head, "God you guys are worse than Grace and Hansel."

"Wait, would you really?" Green eyes sparkled with promise.

"Yeah," He shrugged, "I want my family back."

"It's only been a week," She nudged him playfully.

The young brunette stood up and spoke solemnly, "A week feels like a long time."

"Oh Henry..."

He shrugged her off, "Whatever Emma, just hurry up and fix it because we're having spaghetti tonight and I want you to do the joke. "

"Sure...Sure..." With a tentative smile, she pulled some money from her pocket and slid off the stool.

Before she could step away, Henry stepped up to her. He was tall enough now to meet her nose to nose and he glared as seriously as he could manage on a face that held spirit of child he still was, "If you ever hurt my mom like that again I'll never forgive you."

 _I'll never forgive myself..._ She whispered to his retreating back.

* * *

The doorbell rang at precisely five minutes before six o'clock.

Henry didn't even try to hide his grin and ran to set the table, leaving his mother to answer the door.

In her signature red leather jacket and tight jeans, Emma Swan smiled sheepishly at Regina. "I heard you were making spaghetti," She murmured shyly, toeing the marble entranceway.

The small smile that had formed on her lips at the sight of unruly blonde curls at the door, burst into a wide grin. "I have."

Emma's face crumpled, her eyes spilling over with hot tears, "Re..."

"Shhhhh," She tugged the other woman inside and pulled her into her arms.

Emma sniffled and snorted, "This is such a mess, I'm supposed to be mad at you for...for everything, and you're supposed to be mad at me for how I acted this week and, what are we doing?"

The brunette brushed away the tears with the gentleness of a mother and pressed hot open mouthed kisses to her cheeks. One. Two. And final one to the salty pink lips before her. "We can't keep pushing the blame around, or we'll be back to fighting over the original curse."

Emma sniffled, "Yeah, we probably would." She straightened and took Regina's hand, "I don't want to go back anymore."

"I don't relish the thought either.¨ She nibbled at her lower lip, " Perhaps we can straighten a few things out after dinner because we have a hungry son waiting not-so-patiently in the next room. "

"I'm hungry too," Emma grinned.

"However did you survive the week without me, " Regina swatted at her jean clad ass.

"I don't know," The blonde clutched at her stomach dramatically, "I don't ever want to find out again."

In teasing and laughter thy entered the dining room, where Henry was seated at the head of the table.

"So did you guys make up." He demanded.

"We have a lot to work out kid-"

"But we will together from now on-

"As a family." Emma added.

"Good," Their young prince nodded once. "Can we eat now?"

Spaghetti and salad and fresh bread were passed around, and the first bites were scarfed down before the young family could begin to catch up on lost time. Awkward silences were soon filled with easy laughter and their rhythm and dance began as if it had never ended.

In moments when Henry launched into story after story of his first week as a teenager, their eyes would meet in the flickering candlelight and slow soft smiles would melt any remaining hesitation from their features. In those moments they'd know in their heart that it would all be alright.

The evening was spent the three of them together on the couch, catching up on the X-Files, until Henry's new teenage bedtime at nine-thirty.

He still insisted that both mothers would tuck him in as there were some things time didn't change.

The two women found themselves sitting side by side on the couch in the study, a bottle of wine between them.

With graceful flicks of her wrist, Regina poured two sparkling glasses of the gemstone coloured liquid.

Hesitant sighs and awkward giggles.

"Where do we start?" Regina broke the silence, before bringing the glass to her lips

"I don't know..." Emma hummed, momentarily distracted by the way Regina's pink tongue darted out, catching a drop of wine on the rim of the glass. She sighed, "Maybe...Maybe you could start at the beginning."

"The beginning?"

"How did our fucked up story begin?" There was no malice in her words though, only bewilderment.

Dark eyes clouded with ghosts of the past, her breathe coming out in a shaky whoosh. "The year Henry came to me, was the best and the worst in my life. I thought, if only I could have a child, I could be happy. I had been unhappy for so long, I wasn't sure how much longer I could bear it. Then Henry came into my life, with his perfect tiny toes and the way his mouth would pucker when he slept...Much like yours does in fact, when you're dreaming really deeply."

The blonde reached and took the other woman's hand, tracing the lines in her palm and placing a kiss in the centre.

A thank you of endless proportions.

Regina continued, "But without friends or family, without anyone to share him with, I still felt every bit alone. I loved him so and I longed to share my love for him with someone. The people of Storybrooke...well you know I couldn't...I thought of you...well the birth mother and I thought you of all people would love to hear about him. So I found you, just after Henry's first birthday."

The blonde poked her side playfully, "I remember being freaked out and totally impressed at the same time. I'd never seen a grown up treat me so nicely in all my life, never mind the most beautiful and sensible woman I'd ever seen."

"And you intrigued me Emma Swan, with both your ferocious love for a child you'd given up and your sparkling personality."

"You're making that part up."

Regina chuckled, "No dear, I assure you I'm not. They may have been rather ferocious sparks, but sparkling none the less."

"Thanks I guess," Emma leaned over and pressed a quick kiss to her lips.

Regina gasped.

"Shit sorry, I don't know If we're allowed to..."

"Of course we are, I suppose I'm not used to how...how wonderful it feels, " She blushed.

"Regina Mills, Mayor of Storybrooke, named Evil Queen, is really such a softie."

"You know that, even in this time."

"I do and it's cute as hell, Madame Mayor."

She blushed again and tucked her hair behind her ear, "Shall I continue?" After a brief nod from the other woman she continued, "That first year, I barely knew you and I had no idea if we'd ever see each other again. I couldn't bear to lose Henry so yes, I erased your memories. As the years passed, we fell in love... I suppose that's when I grew selfish. I had trouble trusting you, trusting myself, trusting the outside world...so I continued. I worried that if I stopped you'd figure something wasn't right and you'd hate me, that you would come for Henry and I'd never see him again."

"I wasn't ready until that last year but then, you knew I was ready and still you erased my memories."

Regina hung her head, "I know... it's just that you didn't come with me, I couldn't be sure. I knew in my heart and yet... I was going talk to Henry and we were going to come get you, bring you home. I didn't see the harm in taking them if we would return soon and bring them back. But ...I forgot and he found you instead. I'm sorry Emma, I'm so sorry." She hung her head, hiding from the deepest truth, "I...I thought that perhaps you could have a normal life of your own. I loved you so much, I was so used to my pain, that to spend my eternity alone would be far easier than seeing you alone. I dreaded every year that you'd find someone but I hoped as well that you might, that you wouldn't be cursed in unhappiness as I had been."

Emma reached over lifting her chin, "I know you didn't force me to do anything, that you left me free to date if I wanted. I could have easily fallen in love with someone else. My mind could have but, I didn't want to because it wasn't something I needed in my life. My heart was yours. Always."

"Oh Emma, you can't know that."

"I do, the heart doesn't lie." She continued, "Tell me you didn't feel it too. While we were apart all those years ago. Tell me you didn't feel the connection we first laid eyes on each other in Storybrooke."

"I felt it." Regina whispered breathlessly.

Emma's breath caught in her throat, any possibility of doubt had been flung far and wide from the recesses of her mind.

"I was so scared," Regina admitted.

"I was too."

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be, it was good for me," Emma chuckled, "I was so full of myself."

"No, I mean, I'm sorry for everything. I was horrible..."

Emma nodded slowly, "When I realised last week, what were to each other, what you'd done to me... Regina, promised you'd always be there for me, and you betrayed that promise...I was furious, no I was more than furious, I was deeply hurt."

Tears spilled down her cheeks, marking the silk of her blouse, "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry."

"But I understand Regina, after everything we've been through, after everything we've learned about each other. I understand. I would have made the same decision in the end. I'm sorry too for running away, for running a second time this week, I'm sorry I was never ready, I'm sorry you could never trust me, I'm sorry I wasn't good enough..." Sobs tore through her chest.

"Hey. Hey, Emma, that's not true, I trust you with my life, with my sons life, you didn't run, you came back. And you are good enough, you're too good for me, I'm the evil queen and you've fallen in love with her."

"Twice, " Emma sobbed, "And you're not evil."

Their cheeks pressed together, salty tears mixing in rivers down their crumpled faces.

"I'm not a good person, I've proved that time and again..."

"Hush now," Emma pressed a finger to her lips, "Our pasts on their own, they're complicated, our combined past is full of complicated twists and turns, recent adventures and old memories. "

"It's a mess."

"A beautiful mess."

"We love each other, we have Henry, my family, the town... We have love all around now regardless of our messed up past. I just want more, I don't want it to end, not when I just found it." The younger woman closed her eyes and leaned back against the couch.

Regina clutched at Emma's hand, "It's been decades since I've had true happiness, when we kissed last week before...well I knew that happiness would be here to stay. But it wasn't..."

"It is Regina, can we be happy, please?" She begged. "I need you. "

"I need you too, and it's hard for me to even admit it." The brunette gasped. "Were better together, simple as that."

"Yeah, were pretty freaking awesome." Emma returned with a hopeful grin.

"How do we do it?"

"Beats me,¨ She shrugged. "I guess we just dive in." Her emerald eyes flicked to plump lips, stained with the dark wine.

"Just like that?" Regina set her glass on the table.

Emma licked her lips, "Uhm...we won't dredge up the past with every argument ok?"

"Alright. Perhaps though, we could talk about our time together, they were happy times."

"I'd love that." She pulled Regina into her lap, cradling her in her arms, "You aren't allowed to call yourself the Evil Queen, and I'm not allowed to run away anymore."

With a hand over Emma's swiftly beating heart, she nodded, "I know you won't. I will never again use my magic against you without your permission, and I promise...I promise I'll love you, I'll be your family... I promise I won't leave you alone."

"I know, I trust you."

"I trust you," Regina whispered in return.

Slowly, gracefully, she straddled Emma's hips, sighing as they came together with delicious friction.

"God, it's been a long time," Emma moaned, dark lips sucking at her neck. "Three long years."

"Really now," Regina's eye already dazed with passion, seized a predatory energy.

Emma tangled her slender hands in her hair and slanted their mouths together in a heady kiss, their tongues probing and tasting, catching up for years gone by.

Her nimble fingers worked the buttons of her blouse and released the catch of her bra to quickly fill her hands with full breasts, her thumbs swooping over already erect nipples.

Regina arched her back, throwing her head back, grinding her hips against the rough denim of Emma's jeans.

She steadied herself on Emma's shoulders, focusing for a moment, steadying her voice to say with all seriousness, "Emma, it's been three long years so for god sakes don't you dare take your time."

"No ma'am." She snorted with laughter, giggling as she flipped them over to pull her own shirt over her head. Together they managed to wiggle out of their remaining clothes, and come together, flesh to flesh in seconds, seconds that felt like a crackling eternity.

"Oh fuck." Emma squeezed her eyes shut, giggling softly.

"Language," Regina returned, a soft laugh escaping her lips in the moments before their mouths came crashing together again.

Their breath was ragged, their hands frantic and ungraceful.

They took each other over the edge in minutes, clutching each other as they shook in the violent release of desire.

Before their skin had cooled, their eyes, locked on each other, their brought each other to the edge of passion again.

They teetered there, with deep kisses and teasing caresses.

One after the other, they came with wave after wave, rocking lightly against one another in the aftermath, enjoying the shivers of pleasure the movement brought.

Their breathing slowed and soft kisses returned.

"I always wanted to do you in this room, ever since that first night." Emma mumbled into Regina's damp hair.

"Emma!"

"Whaaaaat," She smirked devilishly, her dimples twinkling in such a way that never failed to bring forgiveness.

"We just shared a beautiful moment and that is what you have to say about it."

Emma rose on shaking arms, "Regina mills I love you with all my heart. I look forward to spending the rest of my life with you, thank you for the beautiful moment we just shared, I've wanted to share such a beautiful moment with you, since I first saw your beautiful face, my love, my sweet, my honey bunches of oats." She kissed her nose with a smack and smirk, "Better?"

"Much." She agreed, pulling the blonde's warm body back down beside her. "I love you too," She whispered.

Slow silky hours passed in the study, until their shaky legs carried them to their bed.

* * *

Weeks and months passed in comfortable familiarity, until a bright spring day brought another chapter to their story.

The townspeople found themselves at the town line, now a symbol of unity at its purest. Long rows of chairs faced an arch of apple blossoms, sweet and fair.

Beneath it, the brides faced each other in dazzling white dresses, the groomsmen and bridesmaids dressed in their finest surrounding them with bright smiles.

Past and present came together in that moment of  _I Do_ , from one land to another, one world to the next, times remembered, times slowly forgotten, they came together for the future.

For another chapter to their story.

* * *

*~*fin*~*


End file.
